I’m not sure I should continue with this one 
Sat here eating cream crackers
With my old friend called Ackers
Sat here eating cream crackers
With my old friend called Ackers
Who tried to nick one
Sat here eating cream cracker
With my old friend called Ackers
Who tried to nick one
So I kicked his bum
Sat here eating cream cracker
With my old friend called Acker
Who tried to nick one
So I kicked his bum
Now his rear is a little bit slacker
Sometimes a rhyme can be hard
Sometimes a rhyme can be hard
Especially when wrote on a card
Sometimes a rhyme can be hard
Especially when wrote on a card
Odd words at the end
Sometimes a rhyme can be hard
Especially when wrote on a card
Odd words at the end
Send me round the bend
Sometimes a rhyme can be hard
Especially when wrote on a card
Odd words at the end
Send me round the bend
To avoid them I’ll be on my guard
There was a young maid from Turin
There was a young maid from Turin
Loved sex but could never begin
There was a young maid from Turin
Loved sex but could never begin
So to help her along
There was a young maid from Turin
Loved sex but could never begin
So to help her along
Judd sang her a song 
There was a young maid from Turin
Loved sex but could never begin
So to help her along
Judd sang her a song 
so she chucked a few pence in his tin
A gentleman caller from poole
A gentleman caller from Poole
Didn’t half feel such a fool
A gentleman caller from Poole
Didn’t half feel such a fool
He called for his ‘Milly’
A gentleman caller from Poole
Didn’t half feel such a fool
He called for his ‘Milly’
To play with his willy
OMG . . . I can’t finish this one . . .I just fell off me chair!
JUDD! You get worse! You will have to go back and stand in the corner I’m afraid.
You wait till Twink sees what you have done.
A gentleman caller from Poole
Didn’t half feel such a fool
He called for his ‘Milly’
To play with his willy
The Dachshund he’s had since he left school
I have reported your behaviour last night, to my friend Twink.
She will know how to deal with you, young man.
A very naughty man called Judd
Slipped over and fell in the mud
His Dachshund, called Milly,
Soon cleaned off his willy
And took a bite… that should do him some good! 
Sorry folks, but I needed to reply to Judd’s naughty Limerick!