I grew up in a household without love.
My Father was drunk every day I knew him bar a couple of years towards the end when he attempted to stop drinking.
Because of his alcoholism, my Mother was extremely sad and frustrated.
Her outlet was to beat up on her five children. Her method of punishment was with a solid wooden broom handle cut down to three feet with which she would use on us regularly.
With a husband who came home drunk every night, after 11 pm or midnight, Mum looked for love elsewhere and found it with one man.
When dad found out about it, he threw mum out,(1969).
Mum and her new friend moved to the capital city and after twelve months a decree nisi was granted allowing her to remarry.
My father worked full time so needed someone to look after us children so he asked mum’s mother to come over from Melbourne to raise us children.
My Grandmother was very old school and religious so had some very strict ideas about children,
“They should be seen and not heard”
So even though life up to then was quite miserable, it became more so under Nan’s regime.
Growing up in such an environment left me floundering. No one gave me advice, no one taught me life lessons so my childhood was full of mistakes and wrong doing.
Several court appearances for petty theft, drinking and smoking at a very early age saw me spiral downwards for many years.
Being diagnosed with Cirrhosis at age 30.
When my Nan died, I bought my own home and left dad all alone.
The other four children had fled the home previously. I stayed to look after Nan who had started to deteriorate.
I never had a conversation with my father until I was 22/23? Even that only came about because I met him in the pub and we sort of became “drinking buddies” getting pissed together.
Finally Dad died of Cirrhosis aged 67 and I was able to leave my home town with nothing to hold me there.
I moved 4000 km’s away to Perth because I wanted to be as far away from my home town as possible, leaving all those bad memories behind.
After 31 years I have never been back and I have no idea where any of my siblings are and do not need to know.
So, what have I learnt from such an upbringing?
What is important in life?
Most important thing is to be a good friend to those who have gravitated towards you.
Do all you can to make them feel valued and wanted, but without allowing yourself to be used.
I admit that I am far from perfect and as such continue to make mistakes. The difference now is I can accept that and admit those mistakes instead of denying any wrong doing which was my want in my youth.
I help those that need help if I am able to.
One of the most sorrowful feelings a person can have is to feel/be all alone. When a person feels they are unwanted by society then misery is their constant companion and life becomes unbearable.
This is one of the reasons suicide is on the increase. Hopelessness takes over so to go to sleep permanently removes that pain.
I personally am not in that situation so no alerts please.
Allow yourself to be happy and learn to laugh.
Life can be too serious, especially if we have come from an unhappy background.
For years I was miserable with the “Woe is me” mentality until one day I was sick of being miserable and sought out those things that brought me pleasure and some semblance of normality.
It was a struggle but eventually I allowed myself to be happy and laugh at frivolous things.
I suppose one of the most valuable lessons I have learnt is being honest.
With myself, with others. Denying honesty leads to heartache and eventually misery as those around you remove you from their lives. No one can abide dishonest people.
Okay, you may be able to fool others but you can not fool yourself.
How will you really feel, laying in bed at night, thinking back on your deception?
A few musings from Bretric
A good honest post Bretrick, and you have certainly learn’t from the school of hard knocks and I applaud your bravery for posting it on the forum. Thankfully, judging by your previous posts on the forum, you have come out the other side of a turbulent life as a hard working, intelligent, and likeable chap, and you are certainly amongst the top five forum members I would love to meet…
You’ve had a tough start in life @Bretrick - and all credit to you for managing to come through it all in the way that you have.
Surviving a childhood without being shown love from either parent , yet still feeling love and compassion for others, as you have, says a lot about your character - and something you should feel pleased about and proud of. 
Thank you for your kind words.
I have come out the other side, not unscathed, but more able to deal with the stuff life throws at us.
I would have rather had a happy childhood, but adversity breeds strength, compassion and empathy.
I love the person I have become.
we see you as one thing in a forum, yet your honest history paints another picture
thanks for being part of our forum
Yes, I second that Macywack…
I thank the members of this forum for being so welcoming. 
You are a hero in my eyes Bretrick.
You have been through hell and you have came out the other end as one lovely and good man,with a sense of humour too.
Happy days ahead my friend.
Thank you for your kind words.
You are more than welcome Bretrick,you deserve them too.
You are also very brave too,i believe your post will help a lot of people who have been through something similar but are too shy or afraid to be honest and out there.
Basically life is a bitch then you die.
Great post thank you
You are a man of strength and fortitude .
Well done .
Thank you,
Dear Bretrick, welcome to “the club”. Thank you so much for sharing that - very private - information here!
It takes a lot of courage, honesty to yourself and your parents to cope with experiences that you mentioned. I also know what I am talking about.
Still, it takes all your life to be okay with all your youth-experiences (sorry, have no better words due to my poor English). On the other hand, judging by my experience, it feels good to be able to forgive your parents.
In my case it was me who told the doctor “yes, switch off the life-conserving machine now” (when I was 25), when my mother suffered from lung cancer and was afraid to suffocate in hospital.
Bretrick, luckily most people do not experience what you did. That makes life difficult I think for people like you. You grow up earlier then most and become a grown-up person early.
Still, shoud it be possible that your parents are watching from heaven (which I as an atheist would love to be possible), they will be proud of you!
Greetings from Germany 
Thank you for your kind words.
Those early life experiences do stay with us all our lives. We come to terms with them and have coping strategies when the need arises.
That was a very moving testimony Bretrick. Thanks very much for sharing it. 
This is a very sad but beautiful story about courage, bravery and success. Having been able to love your self at last and find all the good in yourself in order to turn these past tragedies into life lessons and move forward, wiser and full of the love you did not get at home, while embracing life by counting your blessings to find peace and harmony.
I would love to think that nowadays children in such situations have more access to external help to report family crisis like that but I won’t hold my breath…
Nevertheless, your story is inspiring and has a very optimistic outcome. Well done! 
Bretrick, you are amazing! All of the descriptions above (by our members) of your openness to share, and the outcome of your adult years made an incredible mark of love and kindness to each and every one of us here.