I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
Whooops – sorry!!! Cant please all of the people all of the time!
Why not post something to give a laugh then???
Then you did know!! Ouch!
I went to the doctors today and he said I was paranoid…
…Well he didn’t actually say it, but I knew what he was thinking.
Mum said it was the happiest day of her life.
She arrived at the church and saw Dad waiting at the altar. She walked up the aisle as the music played and the congregation looked on.
Kissed him on the cheek… then slammed the lid shut.
Love it effingpot… 
:-p
HAHAHA…Judd, you had me right until the last 4 words.
Good One Judd!!!
The pot hole outside my house was so big it took six council workers to watch the guy who came to fix it.
I bought a book about the dangers of deforestation.
The first page says, “You’re not helping!”
LOL !! true though!
Eye have a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write.
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
and eye can put the error rite.
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
Sauce unknown 
Apparently you can’t use “beefstew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
I went to the zoo at the weekend
It only had one animal
It was a dog
It was a shih tzu!
Mostly not true. Much of the pulp to make paper comes from recycled paper or sustainable soft wood trees grown for that purpose.
We have done work in a few major paper mills that used entirely recycled resources. One produced a range of paper grades from thos used for bibles to those coated papers used in porno magazines.
Paddy in the Bathroom and Murphy shouts up to him " Did you find the Shampoo?
Paddy " Yes but its for dry hair and I just wet mine"
After the success of his book on Ethics, Chris Eubank is writing another one, on Kent
There’s a new book out about poltergeists. Apparently it is flying off the shelves. 
Then there was the Chinese fellow who drank 500 cups of tea.
His name was Won Long Pee…