I was in the bar when I suddenly needed to pass wind. The music was really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs I started to feel better. I finished my beer, but noticed everyone was looking at me…
Then I remembered I was listening to my iPod!
I asked the waitress:
" Can I ask about the menu please "
she said:
" They’re none of your business" !
So funny 
I fried an egg on a car bonnet today which taught me 2 things
(1) It really is hot enough to fry an egg on a car bonnet
(2) People get annoyed when you drop eggs on their car
ok for some but my husband insists I attend also. Like I need to see it that often in that mode…:shock:
2nd that…its like we are laughing at fools…
well not fools just a very relaxed mind I say.
Just met the local Glasgow mafia boss…
He made me an offer I couldn’t understand!
In light of the longstanding thread on the main boards:
So I’m straining on the toilet, pushing as hard as I can, when I hear a popping sound and it suddenly went dark.
My wife shouted, “Darling, are you alright? We’ve had a power cut.”
I replied, “Thank god for that. I thought my eyes had exploded!”
I have a spare room if they need somewhere to stay.
:shock:
OH the images!!! LOL!!!
[ATTACH]16392.vB[/ATTACH]
That’s what I call a Log.
NASA identified a crucial systems failure in Jeff Bozo’s trip to outer space.
He came back.
As usual, all are up to ROFLMAO standard. 
Attachments stolen for use elsewhere.
