My contacts down there, and believe me I have many, tell me he has an asbestos hairpiece Pug.
You Gumbo a Queen!, the thought never crossed me mind honestly, I have you down as the rugged outdor type on the outside and an old softie on the inside old boy.
I’d better get this off me chest before I forget it altogether, sorry it’s a bit long.
Staying firmly on this planet, there is one question I would like to know the answer to, maybe the experts have the answer seeing they insist that the universe started with a big bang, unfortunately they can’t tell us what was there before the bang and what detonated the bang. cosmic mice perhaps?
My question is. Did mankind start in one place or did it spring up in several different places at the same time? When the descendants of Adam and Eve, or if your prefer, the first man and woman, discovered Cooks and started to travel they found when they got to wherever they were going that someone had already been there before them and collared all the deck chairs, so to speak, albeit the remains of deck chairs. every place on earth seems to have “Kilroy was here’ carved on some rock or in a cave, how did the bold Kilroy and his mates get there in the first place?
Methinks we ought to try to learn more about our own history before we start stating ‘facts’ about how the universe began, how did we begin?, we can barely go back 5.000 years in human history, even then very sketchy, 5,000 years is nothing, hardly worth mentioning, compared to how long mankind is on this earth, I’d love to know what happened in the odd few million years before that, nobody mentions those years simply because, just like you and me they haven’t a clue.
How many cities have been buried, covered over and sank into the ocean in all that time, lost possibly forever, how were these precision buildings made without machinery of any description, as we are told had not been invented back then, I doubt they could produce some of those structures today if they tried with all the gear they have.
I’m not knocking the experts, everyone has the right to earn their crust, chancers included, but everyone has the right to question too, what gets me is when they put out their theories as fact, that hurts, the worst part of that is once it has the ‘expert’ stamp on it most folks believe it and pass it on to their children.
I was shocked to hear my 18 year old grandson say a few days ago when this subject came up “Grandad, everyone knows the universe all began with the big bang” this was taught to him at school, not by me, I’ve always told him to form his own theories, he’s convinced that theory is gospel truth, and as far as he’s concerned that’s it all wrapped up in a neat little package with ribbons on it, that is wrong, it prevents new theories being investigated because some well known expert may be proved wrong, it prevent’s progress just like some good theories by unknown doctors in the medical profession about Polio and other diseases in the 1950’s were shot down when, if tested, could have saved many children from disease, their game is all about making a name for yourself and keeping that name on top, that’s their system, and you don’t rock the boat, and that saddens me.
Wow - steady on laddie steady on now -ya gonna blow a fuse if ya gets all het up like that ! Pug bring him a pillow and mattress so hes can have a lie down with a bex and a cup of cocoa!
but yes dear laddie ya right to be skeptical or is that elliptical or even Pentecostal?
every time a new ‘discovery’ comes out about our universe and those universes beyond us [like the seven new planets observed with their own sun - only a few hundred light years away AND possible sporting life forms!!!] they also admit in a whisper " we got it all wrong last time - so we now have to readjust our findings" - the findings have been readjusted so many times me head is in a whirl!!
the scientists [including dear david Attenborough] tell us we all crawled out of the sea , crawled up the seashore and then swung in the tree tops. In contrast we have the garden of eden with man formed from clay and woman from his rib?
now I’d rather have them as my ancestors than a slimmy creepy crawly bug that crawled out of the sea!
but the simple truth of the matter IMO is none of us know the true story - never trust a scientist who crawled out of the sea I say - we are told that Darwin [bless his cotton socks] discovered the origin of our species - bollocks - even Darwin disagreed with the claims but was shouted down and his ideas were distorted and used to fight the church.
beezlebub to all that I say!
NB: but what I do know and feel, is that every time I walk into an empty ancient church or cathedral and sit and contemplate my navel I am suddenly transported from this crazy mad world with all its dashings and bashings into a world of comfort, peace and tranquility and long may it reign!!
AMEN
thought I’d just slip this in but do continue this very healthy discussion lads!
We used to be the musketeers
Five in all including me
Now I see wez down to 4
Whose goin next through that big door?
Oh Robert, Robert juniar
We’ve lost our musket in wheelchar
Could you get it motorized
And come renewed with steely eyes?
We miss you dulcet and falsetto tones
Don’t worry wez all got broken bones
But wez can slash a sword or two
But not as well without yuz too!
Ya see me rhymes have all gone flat
To lift me tone I need ya back
So let the muskets rise again
With old RJ – oh when oh when?
See, this is that Rock and a Hard Place thing, It is possible a Big Bang Created a Rock, but Humans live in a Hard Place, and maybe, there is no correlation.
I have seen the light
Reaching to me this very night
All will now be fully revealed
Even that so far concealed
The truth is not so far away
You can be morphed today
I’ve been in a vast cocoon
Ending it’s journey very soon.
Enough of all this prophetic tripe, I am in awe of the learned comments of late. I hope my chums in here find Shangrila, Utopia, Heaven, Nirvana or whatever ticks all of their boxes.
I vainly thought I knew all the answers but I am not sure at all whats it all about (Alfie)
Very enigmatic Paul. People who sit on the fence are likely to tear their apparel, when they finally fall off.
One final thought, How do you remove grass stains from the knees of pyjamas. A friend asked me
for feck sakes spittie he don’t wear jams while he’s doin it surely - how disgraceful - do it bare back!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’
Ah RJ!, you are a sight for sore eyes, “He drifted in on the cold March wind and spread a warm joy around the room” Great to see you back again old bean.
Speaking of Queens, I was talking to a chap from New Yorlk recently, “Are you from Queens then?” I asked. “No, just normal parents”
“The Queen she came to call on us,
She wanted to see all of us
I’m glad she didn’t fall on us, she’s eighteen stone.
“Mister Me Lord Mayor,” says she,
“Is this all you’ve got to show me?”
“Why, no ma’am there’s some more to see, Pog mo thoin!”
This bit of verse is from the old song “Take her up to Monto” by the Dubliners refers to Queen Victoria’s visit to Dublin in 1900 when we under British rule. RJ will know what Pog mo thoin means.
Just looking down the forum home page, would you believe it’s nearly six months since the trash can was scrapped? I just goes to prove that folks can get along together without slicing chunks off one another.
Ode to the trash can.
The day of reckoning came in November 2016
It was so swift that it was hardly seen
The shutters pulled down and the blood pressures lowered
The slagging had ceased and peace was restored
The inmates were rampant and running amok
So stricter measures had to be took
Old lads were shouting and letting off steam
Old ladies fainting and starting to scream
I ended up there once or twice
All my own fault as I took bad advice
I’m really not sorry to see it gone
So I’m back in the mainstream where I belong.
It was a good idea, done in good faith
Then it became bitter, far too much hate.
I’m happy to know as I sit on my rump
That the trash can is buried deep in the dump.
Ah ya a midstream man then - ever had to pass the midstream urine test??
used to be called " takin the piss with clean hands" OR “when ya takin the piss keep ya hands clean”
Jem- greetings.
My Gaelic is rubbish, but this may apply
[LIST=1]
[*]Cár chóra domsa ná duitse é a dhéanamh
[/LIST][LIST=1]
[/LIST]
Gumbud-greetings
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor met Morris and said, ‘You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’
Morris replied, ‘Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’’
The doctor said, 'I didn’t say that… I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’
Wish I had a hot mamma, just what I need in this weather.
My Gaelic is terrible RJ, I barley knew that ” Pog mo…’ meant ‘Kiss my…”
Keep the home fires burning, it’s bloody freezing here today, I’ve lit the fire again as that central heating always gives me a headache when it’s on for too long. Coal is now 22 euros a bag, never thought I’d see the day, and it’s artificial coal if you know what I mean, neat little nuggets as if they were pressed out by machine, they leave no cinders which were always handy for putting on the fire in the late evening to keep it aglow.
I remember the real jet black shiny coal, and as a boy going down to the coal depot with me little sack bag and watch the man weigh out a stone of coal for a shilling, a shocking price to pay at that time. We also burned turf then and as my dad was in hospital long term we got two bags of the stuff for sixpence, you had to make your own delivery arrangements so the brother and me made a little boxcar specially for that purpose, Every Friday after school the pair of us collected the stuff from the local turf depot, two four stone bags, we’d be knackered when we got home. Great heat from turf but very messy.
Scribblers scribblers.
’Tis only rhyme with no ill intent
Nothing twisted nor bent
To be taken with a pinch of salt
While sipping down your double malt
Nothing sneaky even suggested
And certainly not to be digested.
A bit of rhyming verse is required
Nothing fancy, think like a child
Poetry is beset with snobbery
Words are pinched, it’s daylight robbery
Now I’m not saying I am as white as snow
I’ve by turns been villain then hero
Anyway, I write when inspired
Deep wise thoughts from this man, retired
I’ve just had an engaging thought
Of which I can now fully report
I have had a word buzzing around my brain
It comes and goes, now it’s gone again
Cornucopia, no that’s all goats & Greek,
This word is playing hide and seek,
Cornucopia, too late, it‘s over
A true masterpiece of prose RJ and always appreciated but now back to the gene pool which has it’s own problems
“The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.”
or " a pool and his pee are soon parted"?
a lifeguard and his toilet break
I’m glad the geezer is Ok, when he said he needed a 5 minute Bathroom Break, I was concerned he had a Prostrate Problem.
Or, he needed a Number Two.
(Jem My Gaelic is terrible RJ, I barley knew that ” Pog mo…’ meant ‘Kiss my…”)
Ah so, ah so!
I knew we’d get to the bottom of this.
groan
It wasn’t cornucopia, the word I was trying to remember last night. I remembered it today , but it’s not THE word I’m looking for.
CORNUCOPIA is something to do “A time of plenty” (roughly)
also hairy goats horns. I kid you not.
Sorry if I am vague today. My usual scriptwriter is on paternity leave so I had to let him go .
By pure chance I managed to save my altoego’s (can’t spell it) copies of my (and his) entire archive of my writing , from ARCHIE my late cat’s diary, Uncle Vivian yarns, Confessions of a retired Shopkeeper et al…
Is it too early for a wee dram.?