Leisurely Scribbles (part 5) (Part 1)

Hobbies & Pastimes Hobbies & Pastimes: Chat / Discussions
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I learned a lot from my Dad too Fruity, he was a train driver by occupation, but when he was a TB patient in the sanitarium he used to make model trains, bridges and churches from matchsticks, some of the models are still up in the family home now occupied by my youngest brother.

I’ve seen the snaps of your beautiful garden, it’s a credit to you.:wink:

Best of luck to your beloved with the vaccine.

I’m very disappointed with the vaccine rollout here, we’re only a population of some 6.5 million and so far only about 300,000 have had it done, this new Johnson&Johnson vaccine seems to be the business if it comes out soon, only one shot required I believe.:slight_smile:

One on each arm eh? you lucky devil, by the time I got a chance at having two sisters linking me they were well into their 60’s and none of the other old lads even noticed, no feather in me cap there. they probably thought I was a social worker taking them out for a walk.
(good job they have a sense of humour):smiley:

Yes things seem to moving rapidly over there now, good for you all, maybe this Summer will see some big improvements over the disaster we all had last year, hopefully. ;-):slight_smile:

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My God!, things must be really hitting rock bottom in US politics when the opposition start slagging off your dog.
Hit me as hard as you can but leave my dog alone, that’s far below the belt in my book.
Why only last week here I was expressing my love for “mangy dogs”:slight_smile:

I have to admit “junkyard dog” is new to me, although I think I heard it in a song about a certain Leroy brown, “he was meaner than a junkyard dog”

“ Newsmax, that journalistic bastion, went after the Bidens’ German shepherd, Champ. It aired a segment claiming that he was “dirty,” “unpresidential” and looked like a “junkyard dog.” CNN news.

A good description of Donald Trump, but an insult to any law abiding dog.:smiley:

How low can you go, hands off the innocent dogs I say.

And I was asked why I don’t like politics, because of the sly dirty greedy game that it is, the sooner the robots take over the better, they certainly couldn’t do any worse. ;-):slight_smile:
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For years I’ve tried to figure out how it is that when you want to cool something like soup you blow on it, and when you want to warm up your hands on a cold day you also blow into them.
The answer suddenly became clear to me today, and it just goes to prove how the human body is a remarkable piece of kit.

You form a small “O” with your mouth and “blow” to cool something, and you open your mouth wide and “haw” into your hands to warm them up, the difference is a simple blow or haw.

It’s truly amazing that within the confines of one’s own mouth there lies a compact heating and cooling system, God you sure did your homework creating humans, pity you had to include the greed seed though, otherwise you made a splendid job of it.:slight_smile:

Enough of my hemming and hawing for one day.:wink:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/OMOGaugKpzs

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“Who was trained not to spit in the fan”

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:lol::lol:

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One of Mel Brooke’s best films I think, that and “Young Frankenstein”, a comic genius and mad as a hatter was Mel, he’s still hanging in there at 94.

If someone says it’s alright to spit into a fan, I won’t dis sputum.;-):slight_smile:

Is the upcoming Windows 12 just another pane in the anus?
I’m asking for a Spanish friend, who will be most grateful for your replies. mucho glassy ass amigo. :slight_smile:
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They have yet to find a more durable substitute for the wooden door we know and love for thousands of years now. I cannot see these aluminium/plastic doors lasting as long as the old solid wooden doors you see in old buildings, castles and churches, beautiful and absolute works of art in their own right.

When the new artificial doors go wrong you can be locked out without a hope of getting in again without a locksmith, (happened to us) then he has to put in a whole new planet of the same old shit that locked you out in the first place, not a bit reliable in my humble opinion.

Although the wife has the new aluminium windows and doors in for quite a few years now I still preferred the old wooden doors.

How many times a day do you reckon you open and shut some kind of door?
How many hours of your life have you spent talking to someone at your hall door?

Doors are very important structures, never underestimate the functions of the door.:wink:

Doors keep people in and let people out, you could not have lockdown without doors, you need a number and a letterbox on your door in order to receive post, barring you have one of those outside mail boxes, goodnight kisses are given and received at doors, and when one is feeling poorly someone might say to you
“You look like you’re at deaths door”

See what I mean, even death has a door, and heaven has a first cousin of the door— the gate, golden gates to be precise.
Which poses the question, which came first , the gate or the door?:confused:

There was a furniture shop near me that specialised in wooden doors, the lady who owned it was Mrs Diana Wilton, she called the shop “Diana Doors”, but she hadn’t a patch on the real thing. :smiley:

“Close the door they’re coming through the windows” Quote from the original film “Night of the Living Dead”

I love this modern wooden hand carved double door. Of course you’d have to have the right house for it.

https://i.postimg.cc/WpMHvns5/e8600b231dad001bcdbb3e9b4d2aeafc.jpg

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Oh yes, good old mad Mel. He has made me chuckle more than once.

I no nought about Winders Dozen. I was led to believe Windows Ten would be that last, and we would then suffer infinite downgrades and disprovements ad nauseum.

As for doors. We’ve had external wooden doors that leaked water and air. Aluminium doors that expanded and jammed,
Plastic doors that expanded even more and jammed harder. Now we have composite doors that seem to be much betterer at staying roughly the same size in all weathers.

There was a TV programme on last week talking about building structures, and how centuries old wooden beams gradually took on properties like iron. I imagine that’s why old church and castle doors get to the point where they refuse to deteriorate.

I used to work on a jet engine called the Adour. A lot of the engines my former employer made were given names of rivers such as the Avon or Trent. The Adour is a river in Franceland because it was an Anglo-French project.

The most important door in my life was the front door where my Lovely Cousin used to live. I spent many a half hour there “saying” goodnight, and on a balmy Friday one summer, I proposed to her there.

I’m a great fan of the Goons. One of their best lines was, “I opened the door in my pyjamas.”
“I didn’t know you had a door in your pyjamas”.

That’s a magnificent image of a door. It would not look out of place at a library entrance signifying the Tree of Knowledge.

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I wish the pubs were opened again, almost a year now, I miss the company more than anything else.:frowning:
I have plenty of new material to try out on the other old lads in the local, I’ll add your Goons one to that list Fruity.:wink:
Old Freddy who’s in his late 60’s married a woman half his age, I’ll ask him does his new wife ever open the door in her bra, no that wouldn’t work, that’s a double door job, might try knickers instead, probably get a black eye, but I’ll risk it for a laugh.:smiley:

I loved the Goons too, Prince Charlie is a great fan of them I believe, he has all the old scripts, I think Sellers or Milligan presented them to him years ago.
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I’m not fond of that expression “it’s a no brainer”. clever folks use it a lot, never fools like me, I’m low in brain cells and have to be thrifty with the use of same. they say brain cells are like special offers in Lidi, once they’re gone they’re gone.
Are the no brainers really saying “Look at me, i’m so clever I don’t even need a brain”?:smiley:
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When a brain cell splits, does it’s bum show? as like PJ. Proby, who remembers him I wonder, PJaysus Proby as me older brother used to call him, never a dull moment when PJ was around, he seemed to be always in the news back then, but I’ll always remember him for the pants splitting episode on stage.

The Beatles brought him back with them from Texas in 1964 and he stayed in the UK, the girls went wild about him everywhere he appeared.
I liked the fellow when I was young, he was different to the other popsters at the time, but popsters are like posters, they come and go.

I see he’s still doing singing engagements.

I think he looks a bit like the Wolfman in this photo, the 1941 version with that actor who used to hang from the ceiling at Christmas time–Long Chaney. Wonder has he got the sign of the pentagram?:wink:

“Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night
May become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms
And the autumn moon is bright.”

We used to have a government minister over here in the 80’s, Brendan Howlin was his name, they couldn’t find a ministry to suit his talents so they made him the official minister for Werewolfs. (only pulling yer leg Brendan)

https://i.postimg.cc/QM3M8hTw/PJ-560166.jpg

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I have often wondered about the origins of the old classic fairy tales we all know and love. An Aunt in Los Angeles sent the brother and me three original hardback copies of Andrew Lang’s collection of tales when we were kids, we lent them out to all the other kids in the street and they were in bits when we finally got them back, had they been in the state we got them in they would have been worth a few quid today, but in the days before TV a lot of kids got enjoyment from them and that’s worth a lot.
The Blue Fairy Book (1889) The Red Fairy Book (1890) The Green Fairy Book (1892)

I found an interesting piece on the BBC news site from an article in 2016, no author’s name to credit. Here’s an extract from it.

Fairy tale origins thousands of years old, researchers say

“Durham University anthropologist Dr Jamie Tehrani, said Jack and the Beanstalk was rooted in a group of stories classified as The Boy Who Stole Ogre’s Treasure, and could be traced back to when Eastern and Western Indo-European languages split more than 5,000 years ago.
Analysis showed Beauty And The Beast and Rumpelstiltskin to be about 4,000 years old and a folk tale called
The Smith And The Devil, about a blacksmith selling his soul in a pact with the Devil in order to gain supernatural abilities, was estimated to go back 6,000 years to the Bronze Age.
Dr Tehrani, who worked with folklorist Sara Graca Da Silva, from the New University of Lisbon, said: "We find it pretty remarkable these stories have survived without being written.
“They have been told since before even English, French and Italian existed. They were probably told in an extinct Indo-European language.”
In the 19th Century, authors the Brothers Grimm believed many of the fairy tales they popularised, including Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel and Snow White, were rooted in a shared cultural history dating back to the birth of the Indo-European language family.
Later thinkers challenged that view, saying some stories were much younger and had been passed into oral tradition, having first been written down by writers from the 16th and 17th Centuries.

Dr Jamie Tehrani said: "We can come firmly down on the side of Wilhelm Grimm.
“Some of these stories go back much further than the earliest literary record and indeed further back than Classical mythology - some versions of these stories appear in Latin and Greek texts - but our findings suggest they are much older than that.” BBC news.

My favourite was always Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs, and because of my deep creepy voice (I used to do Boris Karloff impressions in the local at Halloween time) I was asked by Fr. Flaherty to voice play the magic mirror in the parish pantomime, these were some of my taped lines that I’ll never forget.

Queen to magic mirror, when she has her doubts about the Huntsman’s account of Snow White’s death.

“Oh mirror mirror tell me tonight
Whatever happened to Snow White?”.
Mirror:
“Snow White lives in a Forest Glen
In a pretty little cottage with seven little Men”:shock:

Seems a girl living with seven men was OK back then because nobody objected to the pantomime, and that was back in the sixties, I mean even by today’s liberal standards seven men all at the same time is a bit over the top. ;-):lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/61HW8uxzEZs

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Seven blokes, one lass, nature is cruel there were bound to be fights.

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High Ass Crack.:041:

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That’s very interesting about the possible early origins of Faerie Stories.
There is a very popular religious book that originated a few thousand years ago in spoken word only before it was ever writ in the writing of an old dead language, and then re-written in several more long dead languages until translated into just about every language in the world.
I can easily understand a different set of stories starting that way and still being around today, having initially been spoke only, then writ and re-writ and translated and tinkered with to adapt it for a contemporary audience across the millennia.

My parents had a book called Aesops Fables that I enjoyed reading in my younger days.
I even plagiarised one of the stories about a stork removing a bone from the throat of a fox, having been promised a reward only to be told afterwards, "isn’t it reward enough to have put your head down the throat of a fox and survived?

I used that as the basis for a short English essay about the saying, “You can’t have your cake and eat it”, hoping that the English teacher was not familiar with the works of Aesop. I believe I got a good mark.

Did you know that in the “original” version of Snow White by the brothers Grimm, the dwarfs did not have names? That was purely an invention by the US film industry.

Many of these stories were about good versus evil, often being about morals and how people should or shouldn’t live.
A Mister Dickens was quite good at that as well.

However, quite often the stories were not as nice and fluffy as current film and book producers will would like you to think.

I believe that in one of the early versions of Sleeping Beauty, the girl was ravished in her slumber by a passing prince, only to awake nine months later to find herself in labour.

As for a young girl (well a female of perhaps indeterminate age) living with seven men, a similar thing happened to a sixteen year old girl/woman (played by a twenty two year old woman) in the film, The Wizard of Oz. Her two best friends were local men much older than she.

If you know my history, then you know I am in no position to comment about relationships between a young girl and a grown man.

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Hollywood always had their own special way of dealing with fairy tales and history Fruity, but I must admit I loved all of Disney’s interpretations of the tales as a child, always the happy ending that made you feel the triumph of good over evil, and as far as I’m concerned good and evil are alive and still battling it out to this day.:frowning:

I used to read a lot of biographies of film stars and authors in my earlier years, usually books I borrowed from the library, I like to know more about the person behind the film or book, what makes them tick, I already know what makes me thick— old age and lack of education.:smiley:
I picked up some little tit bits along the way. :wink:

For example, I read that they had to tape Judy Garland’s breasts down when she was making the Wizard of Oz film, and Clark Gable , who had cauliflower ears had to have them sellotaped to the back of his head for some close up love scenes.
I’m imagining Marilyn Monroe kissing Gable in The Misfits “Sorry Clark dear, but your ears are blocking the moonlight from my face” and Fats Waller singing “I don’t love ya cos your ears too big”:smiley:

My brother and me as kids tried to write a story based on a boy we knew, who when he came to the age to switch from short trousers into “longers” refused to do so, when anyone asked this lad what he wanted to be when he grew up he always said bluntly “I don’t wanna grow up”
Fair play to him, he went on to be a scoutmaster where he could wear his shorts all he wanted.:smiley:

We were going to write a fairy tale about a tadpole who refused to turn into a frog, but the idea was as far as we ever got.

I’m just a talker and that’ll do me.
I never had the skill nor the persistence needed to write a short story, I’ve tried but I always packed it in after a few sentences, it’s such a lonely task and too much like hard mental labour to me, besides you have to do everything yourself. :shock:

That’s probably why I admire and respect all writers, published or unpublished, good or bad, it’s s very brave thing to do, they put themselves on the line for the amusement of others, a noble consideration by all accounts, so long may they continue.:slight_smile:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/yYvkICbTZIQ

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Two low down bums fighting. :smiley:

It was all over after the first round Spitty, “The Doorman” O’Connor had the measure of yerman right from the start, he was just toying with him to draw it out for the crowd after that.

I enjoyed looking at the two board-girls between rounds, lovely figures on the pair of them, they say the day a man stops admiring female beauty is the day to throw in the towel.;-):slight_smile:

I see there was a recent new discovery at Pompeii, they found a complete ceremonial chariot, I also read this

“Mount Vesuvius eruption: Extreme heat “turned man’s brain to glass”
Now that’s what you’d call a real pane in the head.:slight_smile:

There’s a thought, the shoe manufacturing business must be having a very bad time of it now with nobody going anywhere. Ah but what about those who make slippers says you?, I’ve worn a few pairs out since this thing started, swings and roundabouts I suppose.

I cut me own hair and the daughter cuts the wife’s hair, handy during this pandemic. I like to look respectable and clean even if I can’t get out at present.:wink:

I saw this cape thing advertised and thought it was a good idea for saving the hair from going all over the place so I ordered one for the wife and one for meself, you can’t go wrong at only €3 each from Aliexpress.

Maybe you’ve seen these before but I haven’t, I use a black plastic bag opened up as a sheet, but I can never prevent the tiny hairs from getting through at the neck part, very irritating, this thing has a velcro collar so it will secure the neck area much better.
The ladies cape comes in different colours too.:slight_smile:

https://i.postimg.cc/1RTYM8mQ/HTB1x1-Vo-XDHu-K1-Rk-Snd-Vq6x-Vwp-Xap.jpg

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Yep Jem, a Fit Bird can get away with murder, take that “High Ass Crack Gal”, all the guys are so focused, no one has noticed, she is carrying a “Number Two” above her head, around the ring.:lol::lol::lol:

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Don’t get me started on number two, or even number one for that matter Spitty.;-):slight_smile:
God knows we get enough of those constipation and leaky bladder ads on the TV as it is.
From the old nylon stocking days of running ladders right up to leaky bladders, there’s a poem in there somewhere.:smiley:

Funny how you don’t see fellas moaning about leaky bladders on the TV.:confused:

Carrying a number two around, be it over your head or the usual place can be very frustrating at the best of times.

Those who are regular sh…s, and there are plenty of them around, are blessed, they can plan the dropping off zone well in advance and avoid having to make those excruciating “I gotta go” faces at meetings, outdoor functions, parades, group country walks, etc., the faces are such a give away aren’t they. :wink:

Although I knew a fella who looked like that all the time, never a smile, perpetual anxious face that was on the alert at all times, poor soul, horrible way to be when you think about it.

Victor Mature had one of those faces, to me he always looked as if he was in need of sound bowel relief.

“Doctor to patient: “Did you have a bowel movement today?”
“No, me bowel is still in the same place it was yesterday”
Doctor: “Well did you pass water today?”
“Yes, I had to cross the Liffey to get here”

Victor Manure the kids here used to call him back in the Saturday afternoon matinee days.
I remember he starred in a film called “Bad Odour” with Greta Garbage, Dean Fartin, and that German actor Maximum Smell, Engelbert Lumpofstink sang the title song. :slight_smile:

Enough of that lot for one day.

Here’s Victor singing a soundtrack song from the film ‘Samson and Delilah” entitled

“Take these chains from my waist and set me free, I’m in agony and I’ve gotta have a pee”

https://i.postimg.cc/cL3CSC6Q/51k-DFIil-F-L-AC.jpg

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Jem, your posts never fail to make me laugh! :lol:

You come out with some crackers! :mrgreen:

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Thank you Mags for your kind words. :slight_smile:

My good wife Phyllis has a habit of “jumping the gun” and answering a question with another question.
I’m well used to it now I can tell you, but it’s harmless, just a habit she’s always had.

For example if I shout into the kitchen when she’s in there and ask is the kettle on, she’s shout back “Why, do you want a cup of coffee?”
Actually today I just wanted some hot water to have a shave because the water in the boiler wasn’t hot enough at that time.

I don’t think people who do this jumping the gun thing mean to be smart or clever, they are just trying to be helpful and sort of pre guess what your asking for, it’s the kind of natural thing one does when talking to folks who have a bad stammer, you are anxious to put the word in their mouth, you are not thinking of yourself only them, and giving a hand to the person stammering.
Phyllis had a sister who suffered from this ailment when they were both growing up.

Here’s an old classic example of answering a question with a question, I just remembered this one from 1961.

A lot of Dublin lads joined the British army during the 1950’s and early 60’s, this was years before the troubles broke out and they all had to travel up to Belfast to enlist.

A cousin of mine, who was never too quick to catch on, was one of those men, but he wasn’t interested in joining the army, he wanted to be in the navy.

He was given the physical examination then sat facing the recruiting officer.

He was asked the usual general questions, and when the officer had the form filled in he said to cousin Joe.

“That looks alright to me Joe, one final question, can you swim?”

“Why?.. have yiz no boats?” :smiley:

For some strange reason the Sea has been on my mind all day, perhaps it was me hearing about the tsunami warning in New Zealand on the news? who knows how the mind works. :confused:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/wgetd17XTOY

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Life is a guessing game.