Leisurely Scribbles (part 5) (Part 1)

Hobbies & Pastimes Hobbies & Pastimes: Chat / Discussions
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We had a good two days weather, looking at the satellite map we were lucky and managed to find a big gap in the clouds, cold but sunny and dry.

I haven’t heard lumbago mentioned in a good while, maybe it’s like everything else and they’ve put a new name on it. I remember all the old biddies had complaints about the lumbago killing them, I think every one of my Aunts had it like it was a fashion.:smiley:
Most ailments were put down to “Nerves”, there were plenty of “Nerve specialists” back then, chancers the lot of them.:slight_smile:
I don’t understand peoples complaints now because they changed all the names, all I hear these days in the pub is “My AHTW is acting up again” “I had an attack of OE-mark 2 last night in bed and it frightened the life outa me” and “I have to go for a GWYT-4 test tomorrow, wish me luck Jem”, I honestly haven’t a clue what they’re on about, all algebratic titles and I could never grasp algebra, the thing is they expect you to know what they’re complaining of.:shock:

My Dog.
By Jem (at age 8 in the school poem competition)

I have a little dog called spot
Who doesn’t like the rain
I put him out to do his thing
But he never pulls the chain.

“You vulgar rude boy!”, were the lady teachers words, I was disqualified.:smiley:

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Spitty (aged 60)

Me and my Dog.

It doesn’t matter how long one lives
One always feels a Chump
But, unlike the enlightened crowd
One always bags the Dump

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Was yeh still in school writing’ poems when you were 60 Spitty? ;-):smiley:
I got wise to myself and left at 14.:wink:

The next year in school the teacher (a brute of a master this time) wanted a poem about the pupils cats, and as I hadn’t got a cat I asked him could I put one in about my pet goldfish, he said OK.

I have a little Goldfish
Who’s christian name is Noel
He’s very good at pissing
‘Cos he’s never missed the bowl.

I got six of the best for that and was disqualified again.

Alas I gave up the poems after that.
When i got home my hands were aching from the cane whacks, I entered the kitchen to run them under the cool tap, and as I was drying them off with a towel my mother came over to me and put her arms around me, I thought it was to comfort me but no, she said she had bad news for me, when she went to change the water in the goldfish bowl she accidentally flushed little Noel out to sea, oh yes how I remember that time, it just wasn’t my day at all, I crept up to me bed that night disheartened and sad, a broken boy if ever there was one.;-):slight_smile:

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I had a Pigeon, a wild one, went and bought some Bird Seed, fed it, then it pissed off, upset me to the core so I quit School, in doing so I realised, one did not heed an education to work hard and live in a colony, I had become a True-Ant.:lol::lol:

15886

:-)…Nice to see such great poems again…the Dead Poets Society has nothing on inventive scribblers :wink:

My dog gave me a present
He left it in my shoe
It wasn’t very pleasant
Cos the present was a poo

thanks Anon whoever you are and also thank your dog for inspiring you to pen such heartfelt words.;-))

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I saw a guy the other day
A shady fellow he
His Dog did muck
He bagged it up and
Hung it on a Tree.

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Great to see you all in fine verse. ;-):slight_smile:

The simple life, what is it?

Well I think one can live the simple life anywhere, no matter who you are or your station in this world, it’s your own attitude to life, and it involves avoiding stress whenever possible. Stress is the enemy of all simple lifers, or simpletonians if your prefer, and until you have conquered stress you cannot stand up and truly say “I’m a Simpletonian” in the manner of a Spartacus follower. Funny enough I do get very strange looks when I stand up in the pub and say that, can’t for the life of me think why. :lol:

I like to think I’m living the simple life now, very little bothers me at this stage of life, worrying is a waste of valuable time when you are older, besides everyone knows what’s going to happen will happen anyway so whats the point of worrying about it, just accept it and deal with it as best you can.

People often make things complicated for themselves, I have never driven a car nor did I ever want to learn how to drive, cars just never caught on with me for some reason so I avoided them and used my bike or public transport all my life.
Cars can be a lot of hassle and stress, take most of the people who own and drive cars, they are the worlds worst moaners, they moan about other drivers, the cost of fuel, road tax, cyclists, pedestrians, busses, slow moving tractors, sheep and horses when on country roads, traffic jams when on city streets, parking spaces, parking charges, repair charges, and incredibly some of them even moan about air pollution while sitting in a great big tin box belching out poison on top of everyone. :shock:
The list of motoring moans goes on and on, I know, I hear them every day in the local and I have several drivers in my family and they never stop complaining.
Indeed drivers have been known to get out of their cars and shoot or strangle other drivers in broad daylight, a dangerous lot to mess with I can tell you, all tensed up, I would sooner face a robber armed with ten hand grenades and a bazooka than an irate motorist, no wonder they are having heart attacks all over the place, including at the wheel, sell the bloody thing and buy a donkey, you won’t get around very fast but you’ll live longer. ;-):smiley:

When I think of all the hassle I have saved meself by never learning how to drive I lie back and count my blessings, and I have enough ‘save the planet’ credits stored up to entitle me to roast my arse at a coal fire for the rest of my days without my environmental conscience bothering me. :slight_smile:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/99fRdfVIOr4

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No chance of asking you to join in singing Oh you Chitty Chitty Bang Bang then Jem ! :-D:-D:-D

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Told my girl I’ll have to forget her
Rather buy me a new carburetor
So she made tracks saying this is the end, now
Cars don’t talk back they’re just four wheeled friends now

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:lol: Chitty chitty bang bang, I’ve never seen that film, nor Mary Poppins, nor the Sound of Music, I’m not mad about musicals ever since Phyllis dragged me to see Elvis in “Blue Hawaii” in our courting days.:smiley:

The wife told me to buy a car
Or she would leave me sunk
So I told her to go and get one herself
And I’ll go away and become a Monk.

Albeit it a very old Monk, I believe they even have cell phones now.:wink:

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Watched an old film/documentary yesterdy about public reaction at the time Orson Welles broadcast his “War of the Worlds” radio play in 1938, it was called “The Night America Trembled” made for TV in 1957 and lasting nearly an hour. I spotted a young James Coburn and an even younger Warren Oates in it before they became well known.
Not a bad little film, plenty of facts with a few personal stories thrown in, like the young girl babysitter listening to the radio while the baby is asleep, she gets into such a state that she’s sobbing “It’s the end of the World” and phones the parents to come home as quick as they can.
You also get a good insight of how these radio programs are put together. a lot more goes into them than I’d imagined.
It just goes to prove how powerful the media is and always was, many’s the lie was written in stone too.:wink:
If anyone is interested you’ll find it on utube, there are worse ways to pass an hour.:slight_smile:

Here’s a short clip of the original Welles broadcast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/YTvU9j3og5k

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Wasn’t the Great Flood penned by Orson Wellies.

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LOL spitty…Nah your just flim flamming us with that one . :wink:

Jem…some great quotes about this broadcast…this one sums it up pretty well… “My grandmother always hated Orson Welles for scaring the bejeezus out her with this broadcast.” :smiley:

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:lol: The grannies are always right.
Whenever we had unusually bad weather back in the late 1950’s (and strange as it may seem to some, we had unusually bad weather then just as we have now, most times it was worse than now) my old granny use to say “It’s all them rockets they’re sending up” and she really believed it too.:smiley:

I went up to bed earlier than usual last night as I felt very tired, but for the life of me I just couldn’t nod off, I tossed and turned in the bed so much that the wife got annoyed with me and said if you can’t sleep go down and make yourself a cup of coffee then come back up to bed, coffee actually helps me sleep and not stay awake as it does with some folks.
When I had me coffee I decided to check to see were the two sheds locked, the little one was but the bigger one was not, when I went inside the place was like an oven, I had left the bottled gas heater on, there are some chemicals and inflammables there and God knows what could have happened. I breathed a sign of relief then went back to bed and slept like a baby.
Strange how sometimes you get warnings that something is wrong, someone up there likes me.:slight_smile:

Well that’s St. Paddy’s Day knocked on the head for the kids, no parade in Dublin and Cork, but I suppose it’s a wise decision, folks from all over the World come to see it every year and God knows where they’ve been.:shock:
What baffles me is that when a new strain of flu comes along they have a vaccine for it before you can say Jack Robinson, they issue it free to the public and actually encourage them to take advantage of it, especially the old people, why is it taking so long to find the answer to this new flu type virus?, I get a sneaky feeling this thing will be dragged out for a good few months to come, something doesn’t smell right here. :confused:
But don’t mind me I’m a suspicious old git, especially where governments have dug their snouts in deep as is the case here. Direct attention elsewhere when you want to slip something slimy in the back door. :wink:

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Yep Jem, AI should have sorted it by now.

15897

They do say that behind every disaster there is a silver lining…

Hello Dear

I’m down the pub with the lads having a quiet drink

Unfortunately someone just coughed everywhere all over the place so we have been quarantined

See you in 14 days

:-D:-D:-D

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Some people have all the luck, enjoy your stay there Solo, you know I would.

My eldest grandson (21) was here today, he’s off college for a while and dropped in to see us around lunch time, I took Phyllis and him up to the pub for lunch and a pint.
We were talking about married people and how they begin to resemble each other if they stay together long enough, you know like dogs and their owners. ;-):smiley:
He was telling us about an online service based somewhere in Germany where you can send away a photo of your girl/boy friend and for a fee they will be able to digitally work on it and be able to send you back a photo of how that person will look 50 years from now, he said he knows a fella who did this and when he got the photo back he promptly broke it off with his girlfriend.:shock:
Of course this annoyed Phyllis, who called yerman all the names she could think of “The bloody cheek of him”, all I could say was it’s pity the service wasn’t around years ago, it would have saved a lot of heartbreak for all us young lads who fell hopelessly in love with the screen idols, the likes of Ursula Andress and Sophia Loren, and look at how badly some of them have weathered over the years, Brigitte Bardot springs to mind.
“Shurrup you” says she.:shock:

I’m just wondering now, if you were young again and if your girl/boy friend asked you for a photo to send away for a sort of age analysis would you be pleased or vexed? it wouldn’t bother me to be honest, all I’d take from that is she’s interested in a very long term relationship.

Personally I’d stick with with the old tried and tested way, just take a look at her mother.:lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/EE-EFKv1qn8

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Not me Jem but can you imagine getting that message…doesn’t bear thinking of :wink: :-D:-D

Never been much of a pub goer thanks to 2 things. 1) my Mothers sniffy dislike (bless her) of seeing young kiddies parked outside on pub steps in all weathers with a bag of Smiths crisps to keep em quiet…whilst the parents were inside getting legless.:frowning:

  1. Hearing the clatter of dustbin lids where dinners were chucked in the bin by cursing angry wives who had slaved over a hot stove to put a Sunday dinner on the table for errant husbands who were still in the pub instead of coming home at the promised time.

And thats when the fights started :smiley:

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The first time I came home late for dinner was after work when I went into the pub with some friends, one of which had won a couple of thousand at the Cheltenham racing festival, the wife let it go that once but said if I was late again it would be left in the oven and she would not be responsible for how it tasted, fair enough, she had taken the trouble to cook it, however it wasn’t long before I got sick of eating stale crusted dinners and went back to regular eating hours.:slight_smile:

I went out to the shops with herself today, a very rare thing that, as we approached the doors of Lidl I was shocked to see groups of women coming out smothered in toilet rolls as they headed for their cars.:shock:
I should have thought buying extra food was more important, there are alternatives to bog roll if it runs out but there’s no alternative for food.
I know we were all told to save our own arses, but do we have to take it literally, I suppose with some it’s a case of piles of food or just piles.:lol:

This lady looks one happy bummie, she ordered 48 toilet rolls and they sent her out 48 boxes of them, 2.3000 in all, she’ll have more than her eye wiped with that lot. :smiley:

https://i.postimg.cc/HsZN53jv/2-300-rolls.jpg

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Great photo which sez it all…mind you remembering all the neatly torn newspaper threaded through a string and hung on the outside toilet door perhaps it’s a comfort thing that young uns could not bear the thought of using. :wink:

We oldies made do in times of trouble :smiley:

The English are feeling the pinch in relations to the current virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from " Miffed" to "Peeved.

Soon though the level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” to or even “A Bit Cross” :wink:

(Again thanks to Anon for the above humour)