Leisurely Scribbles (part 5) (Part 1)

Hobbies & Pastimes Hobbies & Pastimes: Chat / Discussions
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Dave Allen never fails to make me laugh.;-):slight_smile:

Well the old geezer was laid to rest this morning, I was invited to the wake afterward but didn’t go, his Sons are nearly as bad as him and I’m not a glutton for punishment.:slight_smile:

Not his real name Spitty, but he was not a person of any particular interest, nor even a man of common sense, just an old prejudice political bore who was fond of his own voice, there are a few still to be found if one moves in the social retirement circle (the pub :-D), happily in the next 15/20 years the world will see the last of them.
Common sense tells us if a person is bored listening to us on about the same subject all the time, so it’s time to switch to something else or they’ll just walk away, and who could blame them.

I’m reminded of this old book, “How to win friends and influence people”, Nicky Roach, rest his soul, obviously never heard of it. It sold 15 million copies, I never read it but saw some very true Dale Carnegie quotes when I looked it up, for example.

“The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it”

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving”

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you”

https://i.postimg.cc/4xPMr0M5/41ue7kd-PHb-L-SX258-BO1-204-203-200.jpg

It’s given me an idea to write me own book, could be the story of my social life really, I’ll call it
“How to win fiends while under the influence” :lol:

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Brilliant:shock:

I do remember that book too!

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A friend and I were browsing through a shelf of second hand books when we came across this self help guide… we were thrown out for uncontrollable laughing. Who ever had donated it must have either found it riveting or found it too much to take in …Amen. :wink:

Apart from Charles Atlas we never had self help books to widen our knowledge…we learnt all that from listening to door step gossip from the biddies who knew almost everything…or if we were very daring we would go into the news agents and read the problem page of adult magazines. Got a few frights at times at some of the things in there but at least the lads were forewarned as to what could happen to their dangly bits if they weren’t careful :-D:-D:-D

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Self Help, have to admit for a short time, circa age 14, the lads and me would go into a shop and Help Ourselves.:-):wink:

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Good book title find there Solo, made me laugh.:smiley:

The missionary position, everything right and proper, we used to be told it distinguishes us from the animals, one of the reasons humans are so special, but I suppose it’s a case of any which way you can.:wink:

Brings back memories of my early years of married life and the “rhythm method”, the church’s answer to the french letter, sure where would you get a guitar and a drum in the middle of the night, though Spitty and Pug would have no bother with that, just jump out of the bed buck naked and grab the old gee tar, “Now what’s yer favourite tune my dear?”:slight_smile:

There was a big busty blonde middle aged lady in our local back in the 80’s, very good humoured woman, she used to fix the flowers in the church, anyway when she got a few drinks down her she would wag her chest (covered of course) and say to the men “I’m Linda, and if ya don’t like my peaches don’t shake my tree” :smiley:
Never knew what she really meant, one would have to be a strong man to shake her trunk, but it made us all laugh, she’s in her 90’s now and she comes in for a gin and tonic every Wednesday, very frail but still smiling, but nothing to wag about unfortunately, all gone down south, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. :frowning:

Condoms were illegal here, but my boss at that time was from Newry in the North and keep me supplied, I’m not positive but I think it was only in the 80’s when you could buy them here.

Biffo, you mentioned sausageless sausages in a recent post. I think that all started with the Arab oil crisis in the 70’s, those were hard times indeed, 3 day working weeks and petrol Q’s, the poor sausages makers had it particularly bad, and they couldn’t make both ends meat.;-):slight_smile:
I also remember in the 80’s when all the bars got in new washing machine things for doing the glasses, no more hand washing, one barman told me he had to use “Soapless soap” in the machine, I didn’t believe him and had to laugh, I mean how could you have soapless soap? He showed me the stuff in a plastic bottle, sure enough it was printed on the label, light green in colour it was, what’s coming next I wonder, sexless sex? :shock:

“Soap-less soaps” are generally referred to as non-soap cleansers. They differ from regular soap in that they contain synthetic materials rather than the fats or oils used in true soap”

Well fancy that now. I’m a bar of Palmolive soap man myself when in the shower, can’t be bothered with those shower gels, they wash away far too quickly and don’t do a proper cleaning job, in my humble opinion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/4KmKkV3ddAo

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All this stuff about needing new sources of energy, the Sun being the most likely provider. There is going to be many meetings to discuss the options for harnessing the great power of this celestial body, as such, I am considering sitting on the Solar Panel.:-):wink:

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spitty…when you have been soaked to the skin more times than a human can take discussing anything Solar is dodgy…very dodgy

LOL Jem you reminded of a time when living abroad we had to buy certain ‘necessaries for hubbies’ whilst back in UK. I went into Boots and asked for a gross of Durex and could I have discount on that. I thought the male dispenser was going to have a heart attack… but I got my goodies and the discount. Not all us women lay back and thought of England as those adult mags would have had you lads believe. :-D:-D:-D

On a similar theme but does not involve Boots;-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/wpHQD7DgVJo

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As you well know most married couples over here had big families back then, methinks it was a case of lie back and think of the children allowance cheque every month.:lol:

If your going up on the roof Spitty don’t forget to wear a warm overcoat in this weather me aul son.
If you want to sit on a comfortable panel, write into the BBC’s panel games dept.;-):slight_smile:

I think we’re all being conned, we’re sitting on a big ball of energy surrounded by billions more balls of energy in the universe, some, like the Sun have so much of it that they shoot it out to space to get rid of it, surely to God there is a cheap efficient way to grab all we want for free, of course there is a way, but then all the energy rip off profits will be no more, and we’ll never get to hear about it.
Just like that chap I read about in the Reader’s Digest in the late 1950’s, it was in the USA and he discovered a very cheap formula to add to sea water to make a fuel that could power cars and ships, he even demonstrated it for the US Navy, then he disappeared, neither him nor his formula were heard of again.
So as long as greed flourishes there will never be fairness in the energy game.:wink:
All that wind we had non stop during the last three weeks, and the promise of more to come, must have stored enough surplus wind energy to give all the ordinary Joes and Jills free electricity for a couple of months, or at least half price.
I would bet that if enough people installed mini wind turbines in their back gardens some new law would come out to make it illegal, yeh just can’t beat the big boys when it comes to controlling energy supply, they have us all by the throat and they’ll never let go.

I’m restricting my visits to the local until this corona thing passes over, maybe one night a week during the week and just after lunchtime during the day when there are fewer people there.
I always thought a corona was a cigar, far safer to smoke one of them than catch this dreaded thing, wouldn’t that be ironic if a chap suffered all the withdraws of giving up smoking and avoided smoking for years, then went out and picked up this bug with the same name as his favourite cigar. God preserve us all.:shock:

I’m now going to get a bottle of wine from the devil’s cellar (where did I hear that before) and a half corona cigar then watch one of the finest horror films ever made, in my opinion that is, “The Exorcist”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/l684G--KIzM

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Hmmmm, a mini wind turbine in the garden, I’d be a Fan of that.:slight_smile:

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I’d be a fan of the mini wind turbine myself Spitty, seems to me the wind is with us nearly 9 months of the year now on these fair isles, it’s a sin to waste it, was it not wind in the sail that made it possible to discover the rest of the world?
The way it sweeps around the wall of my back garden then turns and blows all the washing off the line next door is so powerful that once the lady resident had to walk past 6 houses to get her knickers and bra back, they were spread out over Mrs. Kelly’s blackcurrant bush, but unfortunately Ringo, Mrs Kelly’s dog, had chewed her best bra to tatters, terribly embarrassing for her as you can imagine.:slight_smile:

I might get working in the shed on a windmill of my own, you know make my own propellor like Humphrey Bogart did in the African Queen, stick a few wires on it then sling it up on the roof, a simple affair to generate just enough for me own house, elementary my dear Watts on.:wink:

I noticed on that Dean Martin album the song “Send me the pillow that you dream on” that was very popular in the cabaret pubs when it came out first, when the singer said those words everyone in the pub would shout out “It wouldn’t fit in the envelope”:slight_smile:

And now for the Beach old lads (boys me arse).:smiley:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/nSAoEf1Ib58

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Those windy thingies are certainly a blot on the landscape be it our beautiful rolling hills or seas and whilst I have to acept some of the benefits I loathe the cost to our birds who have no idea of those benefits. Imagine perching on a still blade one day and the next day having your beak decapitated by the same moving blade. Poor birds who can fly thousands of miles through thick and thin would need Einsteins brain to work that one out.

Leave well alone Jem and keep Mr Robin in one piece instead of him ending up a bit here and a bit there.:wink:

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They ain’t as strong or as safe as they’re made out to be.:shock:

I wasn’t thinking about the poor birds, selfish old git that I am, so I will take your sound advice Solo and leave the wind to the politicians, they’re full of wind and no doubt their offspring shall inherit the same wind.:smiley:

I was thinking just now about a song that came out in the early 60’s by the Scottish lad Andy Stewart called “Donald where’s your trousers”, and the wind blowing high and low, halfway through it he does an interpretation of Elvis and how Elvis would sing the song.

There was another fella who was a trained opera singer then turned pop singer, David Garrick, I always wondered what became of him (I’m not suggesting Andy Stewart was ever an opera singer, just trying to show the versatility of some performers). I once heard Luke Kelly sing “Light my Fire”, at a “Hooley” in Howth, he made a good job of it too.

I’m sure there are many who never heard Garrick’s one and only hit before, long time since I heard it, it always reminds me of Phyllis’s youngest brother who used to sing it at parties, I got him into the jewellery business as a boy and he turned out to be a top class goldsmith, he died in his 40’s from a massive stroke he had while digging the back garden of his new house, so sad, God rest him.:frowning:

I found this info about David Garrick on wiki.

Born Philip Darrell Core, as a teenager Garrick sang in a Liverpool church choir, but became interested in opera and succeeded in obtaining a scholarship to train as an opera singer in Milan, Italy. He returned to Liverpool after two years, where he was frequently found at the famous Cavern Club and once improvised an opera excerpt of Pagliacci, rendering him the surname “The Opera Singer” at the club. The Kinks’ manager, Robert Wace, invited Core to come to London to record a first single. He picked the name “David Garrick” as stage name, after the famous 18th-century actor and playwright.[2]
Garrick’s first two singles, “Go” (1965) and “One Little Smile” (1965), were unsuccessful. In 1966 he released a cover of the Rolling Stones song “Lady Jane”, which had some airplay in the UK, reached number 28 on the UK Singles Chart,[3] but peaked at number 5 in the Netherlands. Later that year he covered “Dear Mrs. Applebee”, a relatively unknown American song first recorded by Flip Cartridge,[4][5] and written by Billy Meshell and Phil Barr.[6][7] Garrick’s version was a hit in the Netherlands (number 3),[8] Flanders (number 3)[9] and Germany (number 1),[10] but got no higher than number 22 on the UK chart.[3]
In following years, Garrick released numerous singles and albums but never again achieved any notable success. In Germany he had two minor hits in 1967.[11] In 1970 he went to live in South Africa and Egypt for some years. In the 1990s, he returned to Europe to attempt a comeback mainly focused in Germany. In 1999, he recorded “Apassionata”, produced by Mal Jefferson at Mastersound Studios, Southport, which was released on Prestige Records. He continued throughout the 1990s to perform at festivals in Germany, where he had a loyal following.[citation needed]
Garrick died in Wirral, England, on 23 August 2013, aged 67.
https://youtu.behttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/quNSi8WE3kg

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The Cavern Club was a good training ground for success or failure as Liverpudlians knew their stuff and ley you know it but there was something about Garrick that just did not quite hit the mark. Must have been a free admission night when when he sang Nessun Dorma and he was lucky he didn’t get to get lynched …not yer usual Cavern offering I can tell you. :wink:

Interesting article
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/obituaries/david-garrick-singer-whose-career-included-sixties-hits-as-well-as-opera-at-the-cavern-8803952.html

He would have had a hard job in Germany competing with the likes of Rex Gildo who we we were all in love with and Rex never wore frilly girls blouses either.

Apart from the blouse one of his better offerings :smiley:

But compared to Rex…no competition…even after all these years I need a lie down after watching this :blush:

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He sure was a handsome devil that Rex Gildo, I’m sure he had a few embarrassing adaptions of his surname in his day, I dare not mention the obvious one. ;-):slight_smile:
Swoon away Solo, I still swoon when I see Marilyn Monroe on the screen, the day we stop admiring what’s there to be admired is the day to throw in the towel, my old Dad used to say that, it must be good for you, he was admiring until he died aged 94.;-):slight_smile:

We now have one confirmed case of the corona thing in Ireland, Dublin as it happens, a 19 year old student had been to Northern Italy where he picked it up.
I well remember the Asian Flu back in the 1950’s, that began early in the new year too, it’s hard to imagine an epidemic worse than that, it killed nearly two million people.:shock:
Life’s a lottery and we all have to take our chances, these things happen and far worse has happened before and the world is still spinning around.
Coughs and sneezes spread diseases, trap your germs in a handkerchief, who remembers that advice?, it seems Pontius Pilate had the right idea all along, keep washing your hands and you’ll be OK.:slight_smile:

“Asian flu of 1957, also called Asian flu pandemic of 1957, outbreak of influenza that was first identified in February 1957 in East Asia and that subsequently spread to countries worldwide. The 1957 Asian flu was the second major influenza pandemic to occur in the 20th century; it followed the influenza pandemic of 1918–19 (also known as Spanish flu) and preceded the Hong Kong flu pandemic of 1968. The Asian flu outbreak caused an estimated one million to two million deaths worldwide and is generally considered to have been the least severe of the three influenza pandemics of the 20th century”.

Enough of the gloom, this fella always cheers me up with this song, by the way he insists his surname is pronounced Jowl and not Jo-el as most folks pronounce it. ‘cept me of course.:lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/hSq4B_zHqPM

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Because of my recent hospital sojourn I am one of those at risk…and have been warned to follow advice regarding the Corona virus, Vimto virus. Tango virus or what ever virus is doing the rounds …and I have been sensible and done the sensible things that you do…or should do…but we humans are a funny old bunch arn’t we.:wink:

We just don’t like being told what to do especially by experts. We have all the reasons and arguments ready so we can carry on going our own way but we will panic buy just in case. Ask us to not travel, stay away from crowd events etc and we throw our hands up in horror…it’s called ‘Social Distancing’ so another new word creeps into our vocabulary. Makes sense under the circumstance but when did common sense make sense :shock:

The laugh of it is when we non expert humans get together and decide on a plan… thats OK. It may be the daftest plan on earth but we thought of it so it must be a good plan and a far better one than those experts could ever have thought up. And if it fails we can always find a reason to blame those experts… can’t we.

I’ll leave to the lads.:smiley:

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You’ll be grand Solo just be extra careful.;-):slight_smile:

I was amusing myself today looking up old customs from all parts of the World, I had heard about belching after a meal is a compliment to your host in some countries, but this one below was completely alien to me.

“ In a weird and bizarre tradition in Africa, people of the Maasai tribe (ethnic African group found in Kenya and Tanzania) spit on one another while greeting their friends”

Lets hope the corona virus doesn’t reach Kenya or the Maasai tribe will be extinct in a week.:slight_smile:

On second thoughts it might not be that unusual.
There used to be a pop singer in Dublin in the 60’s/70’s called Dickie Rock, that was his actual name, he was from the north Dublin area, an ordinary lad who made good, he had a great voice and he came second in the Eurovision song contest one year, think he’s retired now as he’s in his 80’s, anyway, and this is a fact, when Dickie was at the height of his popularity he would drive around in his new screaming red American sports car with the roof down and waving to all the girls on the street, shouting at them “Hi fans”, the girls would practically faint on the spot and look at him all gooey eyed then plead “Spit on me Dickie” no messin. Some say the women are worse than the men, I believe there’s no reckoning with a swoonmatozed female.:lol:

Here’s another more civilised custom nearer home.

“British Acts of Parliament are still printed on goatskin. A proposal to end the tradition in 1999 was thrown out, partly because it would “mean the death of the industry in Britain.”

What industry is that? Skinning Goats is a British industry? that’s news to me, but I believe goatskin make the best bodhrans. (sort of a hand held Celtic drum, in case anyone didn’t know what a bodhran is):wink:

Here’s Dickie crooning away a medley of his Irish hits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/7OpgUJjBY2o

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The Eurovision song contest is my yearly indulgence…we have a party… food and drink which all guest contribute too and fun betting on the outcome which goes to charity.

I still prefer that countries sing in their own language cos its much more fun attempting to get your warbling efforts around those Danish or Greek words without sounding as though you are choking on a party Hors d’oeuvre.:wink:

Over the years I have had my favourites but one still stands out…Luxembourgs 1972 song because we were all able to yell full voice “Apres Toi” in unison and it sounded good even to us…and we got to do it all over again when she sang the winning song.

Who would have thought anyone singing in French could bring so much happiness to a bunch of Brits…stranger things have happened or so I am told :-D:-D:-D

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Good for you Solo, my daughter does the very same thing on Eurovision night herself, she’s 54 now, and all her mad gang take turns in who’s house it is held each year, and of course my missus has to tag along, she knows the whole gang since they were children and they wouldn’t be without her.

It was lovely sitting out in the small summer house today, nice and warm as the sun shone through the big glass windows, with a glass of Guinness in one hand and a smoke in the other I was looking at the racing on the TV, and the Queen was in her kitchen baking tarts, well apple cakes to be correct.
It gives one hope for better weather ahead, give me the simple life any day.;-):slight_smile:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/TYIl6n_SRCI

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How’s your Fred’s lumbago.:slight_smile:

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Looking out of the window it seems like a fat chance of better weather arriving soon and as for sitting out in the garden…if my neighbours were not all social distancing themselves they would probably have called the police by now thinking I had gone doolally in my dotage…one can but hope though…can’t one :-D:-D:-D

I don’t have an uncle Fred but I did laugh once at an Aunts yelp of pain due to her lumbago…and was almost floored when my Mother clouted me with an Isle of Man kipper for my cheek.:shock:

It’s a funny word though that just lends itself to comedy interpretation rather than a painful affliction…that was my excuse for laughing then and it still stands although I do check now to make sure you are not holding an Isle of Man kipper first :wink: