Bet Barnier wishes he’d stuck a “No Junk Mail” sticker on his Postbox.:-)
When young I may not have liked it but had enough respect for the adults in my life to stop asking certain questions when I was told “We will tell you when you are older and will understand better”. We took that to mean it must be a bit scary…and many times they were right in their decisions as were most sensible parents at that time…and although our puzzlement meant a lot of hilarious and laughable wrong conlusions mulled over by us kids we did not feel we had been deprived of knowledge. Anyway we never really believed babies were found under a gooseberry bush did we…and gone are the days of wondering what was under Mums huge smock as crop tops and the naked truth is now there for all to see. 
Seeing TV programmes and adverts I cannot imagine nor do I want to think what little is left for young children to ask about or discover about life in all it’s ingloriousness as so much is shown these days in all the gory details for them to watch.:shock:
Now there’s a thought…Our imaginations could never have imagined how TV would take away our imaginations…and leave us with nowt to imagine
When the brother and me were kids our Mother used to have two of her married sisters in the house nearly everyday, they lived close by.
When the weather was bad we would be stuck in the house and couldn’t help hearing the conversations, most of it was double dutch to us but I remember one time one of the sisters was talking about a new neighbour and she said “You all know this is her second husband don’t you, she buried her first one five years ago”
The brother looked at me open mouthed and I looked at him, both of us had a vision of the neighbour with a shovel in her hands down the bottom of the garden in the pitch dark digging a hole and yerman lying cold on the ground beside her waiting to be flung in.
Oh what a terrible though, to take a child’s imagination away, or leave nothing left to dream about, the very precious things that form the adult personality we retain for the rest of our lives, that’s why psychiatrists always take you back to your childhood, to get to the root of the problem, leave the kids alone, let them enjoy their fun while they can, the world will confuse them enough when they are adults, right now the world is being run by mad hatters, and that ain’t no fairytale, it’s a cold hard fact.
Ladies here’s a bit of advice from Bernard Cribbins if you want to bury your chap. ;-)
Its easy to be wise, after an event, its best to pre-empt, and not live to regret a regression.:-)
I have always loved those types of songs Jem.
Another that always had us in stitches was the brilliant Al Read who sounded just like our miserable weedy neighbour which made listening to Al Read all the more funnier.
To be fair our neighbour suffered from a wife who ruled with an iron rod and rolling pin and he was the only man I ever knew who had to wear a floral pinny to do the housework just in case he got his knitted Fair Isle waistcoats mucky.
He had the last laugh though when he scarpered off with the much fancied buxom peroxide blonde clippie from the local bus route.
Last we heard was they had bought a bar in Spain and were doing very well though no matter how many pint glasses he had to wash he steadfastly refused to wear a pinny… Bless him. :-D:-D
He certainly learned to be wise after the event. 
I enjoyed that video, thanks Solo.
I love stories like that, hen pecked husband finally cracks and does a runner with the barmaid or whoever, I’ve actually known a few cases of that over the years, surely these tough overbearing dominant women know that a man can only take so much before he snaps. Good luck to your neighbour, the one that got away, long life and happiness to him.
I found that the wives usually had a secret they know about the man, something about him or his family that they could threaten him with, a sort of ace up their sleeve.
In one case, a chap who used to have a pint with us regularly, his “secret” was that his dad was not his dad and he thought he and his mother were the only two who knew that, silly man, everyone in the neighbourhood knew it but were just too polite to ever mention it, she held him under her thumb for years by threatening to tell his employer, a big department store run on the same lines of “Grace Bros” and that would not do, when he learned that his secret was common knowledge he had enough of her and headed out for Canada with the barmaid in the local, the one with the big bazooms who’s shoulder he used to cry on. I often wonder why most of the runaway barmaids are blonde and have big bazooms. (as W.C. Fields used to call them).
Another fella’s mother had committed suicide by putting her head in the gas oven, that was a common form of suicide in Dublin back in the 50’s, you never hear of anyone doing that these days thank God, anyway he never got over that and his wife took advantage of his fear and often threatened suicide if she didn’t get her way, it was a very effective weapon for her, but he got tired of her threats and buggered off with another woman, I can’t tell you if she was blonde and had big bazooms or not because I never met her.
So it would seem that if you want to hold onto your man ladies, don’t threaten him and above all never ask him to wear a bib, as the good Lord said to Adam when Eve asked him to wash up after their meal “Relax man, and stay put, let the rib wear the bib”
Have Particles gone out of fashion, now we have a new super, super computer?
Like many back in the days of movies I always enjoyed reading the glossy American Film magazines which gave you the ‘lowdown’ on the stars. ;-)
Unlike today of so much press surmise those magazine articles gave out what the movie studios allowed to be published… so glamour and a bit of dirt was made much of.
Always enjoyed Betty Huttons Annie get your gun and years later read that she got a lot of stick for taking the roll from Judy Garland. Now Garland always came across as a ‘doing something addict’ and again thanks to the film mags this eventually became public knowledge.
Without doubt the better actress got the part…but paid a heavy price for getting her wish as can often be the way
Super computer…Only those of my age will understand this :-D:-D:-D
Plenty of drama making that film “Annie get your Gun’’ Betty Hutton wasn’t well liked on the set either, and who could ever imagine Buffalo Bill dying of a heart attack! Judy Garland didn’t want to do the film anyway, ah yes the old pills, maybe she should have done “The Sound of Music” instead, then she could have sang “High on a pill was a lonely goatherd. Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo” good informative read that.:-)
That computer clip made me laugh Solo, very funny.
Yes Spitty I read about the Google tests on the new quantum computer, it seems the 1-0 can work individually on this machine increasing the speeds dramatically, and they say that a task that would take 10,000 years to perform was done in 200 minutes with the quantum method, and this is only the beginning! Hmmm… wonder how long it would take it to sort out brexit?
We are not ready for these speeds in my opinion, we would need a whole new set of marbles for a start, all that quantum stuff is very spooky, things that have happened haven’t happened yet, an orange in Africa can contact and “talk” to another orange in California, even Einstein threw the towel in on this one, he said “There must be a God because there’s no one on this earth who can figure out this stuff’
With these terrific speeds the speed of light will be left in the ha’penny place, you could have a whole nights sleep before you even went to bed, watch 1,000 boxed sets in an hour, do a weeks work in two minutes, but I’m afraid it rules out soft boiled eggs and sex for men.:-D. A million more possibilities, the mind boggles.
In the words of that old song “You’re messin’ with dynamite” We’ll be all long gone by then so make the best of these slow easy going times while you can.;-)
That’s why those autonomous vacuum cleaners never caught on, floored data.
They’re running backwards today, and once again you stand alone.
We had one of those robot vacuum cleaners Spitty, the wife got a present of one and she used it a few times, I think a good sweeping brush does a far better job on a wooden floor, quicker too, anyway the dog would follow it around the living room and wouldn’t let it perform it’s duty, he must have thought it was an alien invading his territory, he barked and blocked it all the time it was on, the thing finally gave up the ghost and conked out, it’s up in the attic now, probably a loose wire or something small like that, but it can stay up there, Indeed where would we be without an attic to put all this useless “labour saving” junk they come out with. 
That reminds me come the Spring I’ll have to sort it all out, find the nearest electrical graveyard and get rid of all the VCR tapes and the now useless machines that play them, even the CD discs are clutter now when we have the exterior hard drives to put everything on, there’s two or three CD players up there that are never used, two tube TVs, also a few satellite receiver boxes and dozens of various cables, sockets, plugs, remote controls, connectors etc., you know the way you tell yourself that someday they will come in handy, but machines and cables are changing so quickly now that it’s foolish to hold onto the likes of old players, scart’s, and switchers.
The last time I was up in the attic I came across an old photograph of herself and me when we were courting, it was taken by one of the old street photographers in O’Connell St. as we were heading out to one of her sisters to babysit, it must be over 50 years since I saw it last, I was touched.
Speaking of being touched.
Back in the early 80’s I’d just finished working very late in town, I fancied a pint but I knew I’d never make it to my local before closing time, so I went into this pub on the quays I’d never been in before. I got my drink and was sitting at the bar, the chap next to me started a conversation with me about horse racing and we yapped away.
After the next pint I paid the barman and said excuse me to the fella I was talking to as I was going to the gents toilet. “Oh don’t use that one, use the one in the lounge’ says he. I thought this strange until he told me that they called the toilet in the bar ‘The Hammer Shed” when I asked him why that was he said that anyone who goes in there is always followed by some moocher who will put the hammer on them, meaning in Dublin slang that you will be touched for a few bob.
I decided to use it anyway as it was raining and I would have to go outside to get to the lounge toilet. Sure enough I wasn’t 10 seconds in there when I got a tap on the shoulder “Spare a few bob for an old sailor mate”
That was me first and last trip to that bar and the “Hammer Shed”.;-)
Pete Seeger wrote this song, Sam Cooke also sang it, but I prefer this 1963 version by Trini Lopez.
Did Percy Sledge cover that?
Never been one for gadgets. I have all my old vinyl Eps, Lps, cassette tapes, Video tapes, walkman etc and I can still play all as I am a bit backwards in coming forward with updating stuff that is much loved and still working.
The stylus still works on my old record player turntable and there is something very satisfying watching a record drop with that distinctive clunk and then after that wait you get the music… .scratches and all.
With the tape deck every now and again a cassettee tape will stick I use the pencil to wind it back and forth and hope for the best. Whats the saying…Old things are always in good repute, present things in disfavour.
Thing was stuff used to be made to last and I took that literally to mean what it said. You cant do that with things made to day. You only have to touch the stuff and it falls apart.
Did Percy Sledge cover that?
Sorry but no, Mike Hammer did, no relation to Jack Hammer, he was a tough private eye and he was very short tempered, I believe that just before he appeared on the Terry Wogan show with Jimmy Nail they were talking about tacks, Hammer lost his rag and hit Jimmy Nail on the head, left him with a 5Lbs. lump, or so a fella from the BBC was telling me.;-)
And what about Percy Thrower? did he not win the national Scottish Hammer throwing contest in 1970?
Hammers are like Nuns, they do a lot of good work, but there’s not a lot one can say about them.
I’m glad you still enjoy all the old electrical stuff Solo, more luck to you, I’ve gotten terribly lazy of late and I’m a sucker for the latest piece of audio/video technical junk that comes out, and I agree, junk is all it is, not made to last and meant to be thrown away after so long.
The most recent gadget I got is a bluetooth sound bar, really great sound from it, it’s black, about 10” long and 4” high, with this I can connect wirelessly to a computer, a hard drive, or the TV and phone, I don’t use a mobile phone so that’s out for me, I get my music anywhere I go within range, great for the garden on a sunny day if you want to listen to an audio book or whatever, how long will it last? I don’t care really, it only cost me €20 post free from China, the very same make sells in town for €80, I mean one wouldn’t get much change for a packet of cigarettes from €20, and how long do they last.
That’s what makes me laugh, once you say you got something from China they say it’s cheap junk, but they forget all the big name junk in the high street and from online providers is all made in China too, Apple included.
I know I’ve said this before, but I still find the Chinese great to deal with, never had any problems and they are incredibly polite, one shop even sent me a Christmas card in Gaeilge!
When China takes over the world I’ll be OK, me velly good customer.
Cabaret night in the local tonight featuring “Ireland’s Gene Pitney”???. Whoever he is he must be as old as me if he remembers Pitney, can’t wait to compare the voices, good luck to him.
Sometimes folks wobble, it happens, but when a folk wobbles at an annual event, when previous yearly events have been steady as a rock, that could be a cause for concern, or not, maybe, time will tell.
Next Year.:-)
Thanks Jem…wonderful song by Gene Pitney.
Not always folk that wobble…
I am not usually one to laugh at others misfortune but I was hard pressed not too when I read about Twiglet who lives in a small upstairs flat in Yorkshire.
Now we are not talking about a 60s skinny model or those tasty savoury twiglet nibbles but a 5ft, 30 stone micro pig called Twiglet…yes I did type MICRO pig. She had her own mattress and duvet…but there again what flat living micro pig doesn’t! and Twiglets weight gain was due to porridge and chinese food…so let that be a lesson to you.
Due to a change of circumstances Twiglet needed to be rehomed so in comes our hard pressed non judgemental heroic Firefighters who dutifully did the deed…and you wonder at what was really going through their minds whilst dealing with so much pork. Could that possibly have been Twiglet butties all round 
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10224290/firefighters-rescue-pet-pig-flat/
Cause for concern indeed.
Sometimes the humble wobble can be mistaken for intoxication, especially at annual events.
I know a fella who never touched a drop in his life but was prone to long bouts of wobbling at the most embarrassing times, he also had a stammer which didn’t help in his night job as a bingo caller, anyway he got so fed up with people accusing him of being drunk that he took to drinking, sort of he might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamp and if the cap fits thing, the strange thing now is, even if he is an alcoholic, he hasn’t had a wobble since, a real case of the cure being worse than the disease.
Then there’s the wiggle as opposed to the wobble, there was even a dance out in the late 50’s called the “Wiggle Wobble” The idea of that one was to shake like a jelly on a plate, but just like those other dances “The Shakedown” “The Mashed Potato” and “Funky Gibbon” they never caught on over here, “The Twist” was a roaring success.
When I think of all the stupid dances they had out in my youth I shudder in shame, and we have the cheek to slag off todays kids.
I’m glad things worked out for the “micro” pig Solo, the poor creature must have been bewildered and frightened when the lady died, well done to the firemen God bless them.
Talking of big, the Gene Pitney impersonator last night wasn’t bad, he must have been 18 stone if he was an ounce, 70ish, a short 70 and a long ish, with no hair and about 5’ tall, I’d say he was great in his younger years, but his voice had the slight shaky touch of age about it, he looked to be struggling when going for the high notes.
We were sitting just below him at the stage and the smell of Old Spice aftershave was overpowering, he must have had a bath in it. All in all it was an enjoyable night, the old girls were in great form.
I’m hearing that old song a lot in an ad on TV, “The windmills of your mind”
Is having windmills in your mind the same as having Bats in your Belfry? Never could figure out that song.