Sorry for my absence.
I will try to return.
I was just sad.
I have a photo thread, it was where I was yesterday. Back to my roots - Windsor.
Soul and Light can always see
The meeting of true love and she
The silent night and I
I guess a lonely mind might see.
I had a Zippo for years Solo, my kids bought it for me one Christmas, it was very reliable I have to say, but it’s dumped somewhere out in the shed now as I never use it anymore, it has “Jim’ll fix it” on it, what a shame, I wouldn’t be caught dead with it on me now.
Looking at a film earlier on “To Catch a Thief”, not bad. Isn’t it funny how all the actors appear to be Olympic swimmers and divers every time they enter the water, a young girl dives into the sea on the French Riviera and swims to a floating platform, then Cary Grant dives in and does the Australian crawl over to the raft, next comes Grace Kelly, again another fancy swimming stroke, and they all start talking while treading water beside the platform. So after three medal winning dives and three different Mark Spitz strokes one would swear they were watching the Olympics instead of a thriller, you never see an actor doing the dogs paddle, why is that?
Read a bit about the Father of Grace Kelly, John B. Kelly, he won three olympic medals for rowing, well he wouldn’t be an Irishman is he didn’t enjoy a good row.;-)
He also was a multi millionaire from his brick making business, heres a tip for you Spitty next time you come across awkward customers who are slow to cough up the brass.
“Kelly developed a technique to ensure payment for his brickwork from less-than-trustworthy real estate developers. Kelly’s crews would mortar a single pane of glass into each chimney they built. When new home owners would complain to realtors about smoke backing into their houses from the fireplaces, and the developers would then complain to Kelly, he would reply, “I’ll take care of it when your check clears.” Once paid, Kelly would send crews out to drop a brick down each chimney they’d constructed, smashing the glass panes and solving the problem”
Good idea eh? 
I could never understand why a strapping lad like Johnny Weismuller. he of swinging naked through jungle trees Tarzan fame and undefeated winner of five Olympic gold medals, 67 world and 52 national titles, holder of every freestyle record from 100 yards to the half-mile, never fathomed out that beast and birds of the forest had feathers and fur for a reason.
Those reasons were to stop you getting bitten or scratched to death from everything that nature designed to bring you down to earth with a bang and show you who is boss.
The studio billed him as “the only man in Hollywood who’s natural in the flesh and can act without clothes”.
Fat lot of good that boast is when you are covered in poison ivy blisters or desperate to remove a venemous snake from your nether region. I suppose a friendly ape may have been an advantage providing you were on good speaking terms.
Never understood what was most important, Lions or Loins, is there such thing as a Lion Cloth?
Love your posts SOLO
Spitty dear boy.You are flirting with a potential scatalogical faux pas.
In ecclesiastical circles, there is an expression viz
“Touching Cloth”
Its a very specific predicament and quite frankly I am surprised this situation has been named.
Yes, I can see how a flirty naked romp around the lounge, could lead to a Touching Moment with a Scatter Cushion
Thank You Robert
Scatology has a habit of creeping up on us at unexpected moments… Robert Langdons thoughts from Dan Brown Angels & Demons
“As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope’s toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope’s toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne.”
As for flirty naked romping around a lounge !! Romping roughly and energetically whilst lolling idly, acting or resting lazily and indifferently or even moving indolently if at all would be a feat of extreme Tarzanic endeavor, surely well beyond the capabilities of mere non Olympic gold medal winning men and that’s before you could even think of a having a ‘Touching moment with a Scatter cushion’.
Au naturel and Flirty…well au naturel and flirty is just au naturel and flirty innit it 
I was only thinking of Johnny Weissmuller after I posted the swimming thing Solo, he was a great achiever in the swimming game.
I think I may have found the answer as to why most actors of that era were such good swimmers.
When Johnny retired from wrestling crocodiles, riding elephants bareback, and yelling at apes in the jungle he took to coaching upcoming actors in swimming, they all went to the Johnny Weissmuller swimming school (Administered by his Sister Edelweiss Muller, well they were Austrian descent :-)) ) so even if you can’t act you can always look great and impress your guests at a barbecue by doing a few lengths of the pool.
I like swimming myself, but the ordinary breast stroke does me, I tried the Australian crawl but could never get the hang of opening my mouth and keeping the water out at the same time, you know, the way they turn the head to the side, open the mouth wide to a perfect oval shape, then stick the head back under the water again, Weissmuller style, oh and don’t forget the splitting of the water using the sides of your hands as ‘blades’, it looks terrific on film, especially if you have a gob full of American snow white teeth, yes a good dental plan is advised if you want to take on the Australian crawl.
By the way if you are ever tempted to watch a film called “The Swimmer” with Burt Lancaster, give it a miss, a very boring picture in my opinion.
Spitty’s thread about enhancement reminded me of my dear Aunt Julia.
As a boy I was always amused watching my 30 something Aunt Julia sitting in front of the mirror preparing to go dancing every Saturday night. To give her her due she always put in a big effort to enhance her modest looks, not to mention spending a small fortune on cosmetics. she was ever so serious looking doing the job in hand, some job I can tell you.
Beside her on the dressing table were jars. bottles, small round boxes, and tubes of all sorts of concoctions, brushes, combs, and tweezers, magical potions which promised love and romance if applied carefully on parts of the face, under the arms, over the eyes, and behind the ears.
Then came the tan stuff for her legs, nylons in a bottle, she spread the gooey brown liquid all over her legs and up to her thighs, then stuck her two feet up on a small stool, lit a woodbine and waited until her legs dried. when she finished her smoke she got a ball of cotton wool and gently rubbed it along one leg to check to was dry. Alas it was all in vain, she died an old maid.:shock:
Although I faintly remember her bringing home an older that herself chap to meet the granny, but he was more interested in the granny than her daughter, I never saw him again.
I think the moral there is, there are things one just cannot enhance in this world no matter how hard one tries, so be grateful for what you have and make the best of it while you still can, good old Julia, God knows she tried her best. ;-)
Bless her and her efforts for she truly believed in herself. As they say Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. 
Lots going on for our May Day most of which seems to be bashing, poking or walloping each other. :shock:
We have the plank walking at Brixham where you will be urged to get wet or possibly drown as the crowd expect nothing less. Then we have Riding of the Bounds in Berwick where English and Scots will make it known that if either falls they will be derided unmercifully so no point in mentioning broken legs or arms.
Morris Men will be dancing in various locations such as Cerne Abbas and whacking each other as hard as physically possible much to the delight of the onlookers. It would be wise to paint your face green if you go to the Hastings Jack in the Green Festival. The clue is in the festival title.
I favour the Maypole dancing whilst trying to ignore the fact it’s really a pagan fertility ritual dumbed down to suit modern taste and sensibilities. 
First show of the year today, Abingdon, first time out of 30 years or so, took the FIL as a widower
Hard Spitty I know. hugs.
Yes, sometimes it is harder on the outside Sweetie.
We all get there in the end.
Isn’t it great to see the old traditional stuff surviving in this highly technical world Solo, i’ll gladly admit that I’m a sucker for all that kind of thing, love it all.
Nice to see you back Sweetie, I hope you’re feeling a bit better after your ordeal.
There are all kinds of tools on a goldsmiths bench
One needs them to polish and sheen
Jewels to grace the neck of any young wench
And make her feel like a Queen.
Now Molly O’Mara was a plain little girl
One wouldn’t look at her twice
But hang on her chest a beautiful beryl
Then she’ll have her confetti and rice.
I once knew a man as ugly as sin
The ladies refused all his bids
So he bought a diamond tie pin
Now he has six little kids.
And that ends the commercial for diamonds, I even managed to squeeze in a man to broaden the scope of sales. I hope DeBeers don’t forget me cheque this year. 
I was interested to read this bit in Wikipedia, seems they can now track their diamonds.
“In 2011, Anglo American took control of De Beers after buying the Oppenheimer’s family stake of 40 percent for US$5.1 billion (£3.2 billion) and increasing its stake to 85 percent, ending the 80-year Oppenheimer control of the company.[12] In 2018, De Beers became the first diamond company to announce that it would track its diamonds using blockchain technology, though this technology has not yet been rolled out”