you need to get a second day job! so that’s what ya wife thinks of ya great jobbie?
There are parts of the Human Anatomy that should not be Espied, even in a marital context, what Sack were you talking of Jem?
Brandish your Tomahawk, but as you dance, do not focus on the foot of the Scrotum Pole.
I once purchased a rather unique tobacco pouch - the scrotum of a large kanga - it only hurt when I pulled the cords together!
Spitty it was one of those old light brown rough sacks the coal men used to bring the coal in, some coal men used to have an empty one slung over their shoulders. you can’t get them now, todays coal bags are plastic, so’s the whole world now—plastic.
We used to keep our marbles in our pockets, except for two steel ones I had, I kept them in a special little corduroy bag so they could keep their shine and wouldn’t get damaged, steelies we called them and very accurate in the right hands.
Tom O’Hawk is an Irish American cousin of mine, as is Rick O’Shea.
The young pregnant squaw entered her father’s tepee and said “How” Daddy said “I know how, but I want to know who”
RETENTION.
Did your primary teacher ever give you a word & then asked pupils to extract as many words as they can using only those letters. or one word as in this case
Reticent
I toyed with retention and all that, but it set a wrong tone, as did restricted, retracted, rectum, renewed.
here is what …
drat this copy and paste function.
Back in those barefoot days RJ we had little to toy with but words (sob, sob, sob) One year Santa brought me a word to play with, the word was written on a piece of brown paper placed in my toeless stocking, the word was “Sorry”, how I cherished that word and played with it for hours.
After a lot of practice I managed to make a new word from ‘Sorry’, it was ‘Yorrs’ I decided to write it on a piece of paper and place it in my Christmas stocking on Christmas eve, “Dear Santa, one word borrows another so “Up Yorrs”
Terrible I know but it’s original, so bad you could perhaps call it an original sin, a sin against originality.;-)
Dear Jem,
I hope you’ll forgive my informality. I felt that that your last post was a display of such precision with your choice of words that I’d try to keep up, warmly.
There, I ‘vet said it now I can concentrate on the matter in hand, which brings me to recall the STATION HOTEL, long since demolished to make way for Nelson Gate, B&Q former head office complex, 14 floors of brightly lit offices consuming electrical units scandalously for 24/7. I doubt anyone knows how to turn them off.
The Station hotel was named after the nearby railway junction & even nearer to the local Theatre, seating 2,400 souls. Visiting celebrity glitterati, the great & the good, captains & kings stayed at the Station Hotel, because it was cheap , cheerful & convenient, a mere 50 yards dash to the stage door.
The proprietor was a larger than life character who was known as Harry the Walrus, which evolved over the years from his great size, thick skin and growling voice. Oh and handlebar moustache, similar to that of a walrus.
A splendid building in its prime, crammed with the cream of original Victorian features, no expense spared. The downstairs loos were a marvel of brass pipes, deeply coloured tiles and magnificent extraordinarily decorative porcelain urinals each with their own stalls for privacy. The cubicles had doors of South American Teak with gold plated escuteons and knobs.
I can only speak for the GENTS, I never visited the LADIES, and no doubt they were of similar opulence.
However the Station hotel GENTS were world famous for the quality & prolific GRAFFITI, covering every inch of the walls, doors windows & ceilings.
The only actual sign was the curiously worded WASH &BRUSH UP only 5 shillings (25p).
Anyway, I haven’t the inclination to list its regulars or give examples of the graffiti, suffice to say the when Bruce Forsythe was staying there in the 1960s a new comment was added.
It was below the “Kilroy was here” (C1940) & above the “Look up, Look up… Ha ha you’re peeing on your boots” (1920’’s).
Alleged penned by Brucie it went…
ARRANGE these words into a well known phrase or saying>>>>>off & fcuk.
What happened to all the graffiti of barefoot days?
thank you roberto - your memory serves you well - I first espied the Station Hotel in 1962 as I alighted into what was a changing township. Not sure if it was still open in those days it looked rather dark and dismal on the outside. did the theatre eventually become a cinema?
oh happy day - oh pub crawling days! - the pubs were also ancient and some served the stage coaches from London on their way to Southampton or Portsmouth centuries earlier - long before Brucie boy! to see ya nice!
Hi Gumbud, I am pleased that pleasant memories were invoked.
The Cinema, as it was in the 1960s was the the GAUMONT.
During the 1960s it was struggling to survive . THere were several attempts by developers to turn it in to a Bingo Hall.
Fortunately some far sighted & Philanthropic local notables formed a TRUST & somehow raised the money needed to buy it for the town (actually CITY by then).
This listed building was refurbished to an extremely high standard in the original Terra Cotta & Turquoise style.
THe “gods”, upper, upper balcony, not for the faint hearted was restored. Most importantlyu a theatre director , excellent chap, very well connected was appointed & within a few years , and up until now, the the renamed MAYFLOWER, is extremely successful.
Last year nurse GIllian & I booked there for JERSEY BOYS, JOSEPH, MAMMA MIA et al
Happy Days .
I was chatting to the gent who delivered our Chinese Takeaway last night, he said he was attacked in our local town by youths after his takings, I enquired “Was you Hurt”, he replied, “I was kneed in the Prawn Crackers”.
Wallow in the narrow
The outlook is so shallow
Go to Hell in a Barrow
Don’t get stuck in a furrow
Go for a real deal
Upspec the real spiel
Talk the Talk
Then Walk the walk
What’s to lose
Public Loos
The penny’s dropt
Who’s the Clot
Good job a real rapper don’t get a chance to read back, or maybe they do.
better than being kneed in the HK flied lice heh or even worse the Singapore flied poodles?
I remember trying to get in to see the “Devils” with Oliver Reed playing a rude priest! - there were protest crowds out on the pavement and I had a "devil’ of a job getting through - they kept grabbing the ‘crown jewels’ and squeezing tightly asking - how to do you like that pervert - who was the pervert here I asked myself - mind you it did make me eyes water rather devilishly.
I loved the final scene when all the nuns went berserk with large candles and I mean LARGE candles!! - talk about eye watering - good job the candles weren’t alight:twisted:
Was Ronnie Barker in charge of the Props?
barker or corbett??
Ah, that’ll be the fork handles sketch then, one of the classics.
Everyone’s on about this black Friday thing
So I took out my card and gave it a fling
Spent 500 skadoo’s in the space of an hour
Boy was the look on the wife’s face sour
She stood there open mouthed and daunted
I even bought a laptop that I never wanted
Most of the stuff was going fairly cheap
She had to physically stop me from buying a jeep
Only 600 from a chap called Clive
She said I’m an eejit, I can’t even drive.
I can see now how one gets carried away
Until they realise what they’ve spent the following day.
I’m going to complain to the race commission next year if they don’t have a White Saturday to balance it out.;-)
Does you brain ever get clogged up when too much information is coming at it all at once? There’s the wife and three of her sisters here having a “coffee” morning (coffee how are yeh, red coffee in a glass:-)) and they were all talking to me at the same time, sheer hell, I had to nip out to the shed pretending to finish a job, that’s where I am now.
Maybe it’s just me but every now and then I have to clear out the old head and make room for new stuff, and God knows there’s plenty of that coming at you everyday, what do they call it in computer lingo when you want to clean up a disc, defragging I think it is, terrible word that, sounds like something indecent. well I suppose you could say I have defragged myself now, just like you have to brick a camel after so many miles, Gumbud knows all about them camels, he certainly knows how to brick ‘em, explained it all in a post here once.
I rope ‘em and brand ‘em
Brick them at random
Singing my camel song
Yodel eh dee hee, dee dee hee dee dee! And off he rides into the Sunset.
me tumbs have never been the same eamus!