What are you on about Man, there is no such thing as truth.
You’d better believe it.
https://s20.postimg.cc/vpi8pb18d/TV_combo.jpg
Look at this masterpiece from the 1950’s, it would enhance any living room, six beautiful knobs at the disposal of the knob enthusiast, and an imitation wooden cabinet made from bakelite. this model was years ahead of it’s time too, on the left you have the radio and on the right the TV small screen (just like a 7” tablet today) and in the centre you had your immobile phone.
Ladies have always liked a twiddle.
Ah the truth, fascinating subject.
When does the egg end and the chicken begin, why do the chickens link wings and cross the road in pairs, if we renamed black as white and white as black would it cause confusion in a dark room full of people.
Life is full of mysteries and rightly so, for as soon as they are no longer a mystery they hold no more interest for us, cast aside like a read novel.
As a wise old geezer once said to me “Son, if the real truth were told it would overwhelm us and swallow us all up in half a second”
According to that it would seem the more you lie the longer your goin’ to live, maybe all these wise old gits ain’t as wise as they’re made out to be, maybe they all work for big brother and get paid vast sums of money to spread fake news all over the place. Another self appointed ’seer’ told me “We only think we are here, the truth is we are not here at all, we are all floating around space as whiffs of gas” Old farts perhaps?;-)
Ah but where would we be without these nuts to give us a laugh every now and then.
My advice is to stick to what your Granny told you and you’ll get along just fine.
Bottoms used to be Quirky. Now they are Quarky.
Bottoms up for me later.
and God said to Adam I have created a companion for you - she is perfect in everyway - big knobs! - endearing smile and good cleaning skills - only one problem - ‘wots that says Adam?’ - she likes twiddling a lot says God - well that don’t seem much of a problem says Adam - “with ya knobs?” asks God - Yes says Adam I’ll take her straight away!
Was that a physical take, or a metaphorical take?
Take 5 methinks.:shock:
Takeshi’s Castle.
I had to Google that:confused:
http://www.comedycentral.co.uk/sites/default/files/styles/image-w-520-h-292-scale-crop/public/cc_uk/articles/2017/10/03/takeshi_main_logo.jpg?itok=UggoFGZM
Christmas cake!!
Is it possible to have your cake and eat it???
I prefer to share it ? - yes I know I’m queer!
Oh right, you won’t be gone long then.
OK then ,if I told you I was lying wud it then be the truth?
You know darn well that that isn’t the proposition, the question would be, would you know if it was the truth, you might just think you are lying, anyway, I’ve always had you down as an upstanding fellow, now, I’ve just got to work out if that is true, if truth does indeed exist.
Well here’s a true little story for yis, and I’ll use the politicians disclaimer for this one by saying that the names have been changed to protect the guilty.:-)
Little Molly Ryan was in love with the potato man, he used to come round every Saturday morning and she’d have her eyes peeled watching out for him. He went by the name of Spud Murphy, had a horse and cart and weighed up the stones and half stones of Kerry Pinks, Queens, and Roosters, out to the housewives, and if they hadn’t enough cash it would always do next week, he was a decent soul our Spud.
When Molly was young she had a darlin’ plan
To run off to London with the potato man
He was tall and strong and his name was Spud
And his face and clothes were covered in potato mud
Saturday morning she lay in wait
Till the bold Spud strolled up to her gate
She threw her white arms around his neck
Squeezed him till he dropped his potato sack
Out of the door dashed Molly’s dad
“Unhand her you ghastly cad!
Get inside Molly, that man is no good”
And that was the last she seen of Spud.
Just goes to show you that it was not true love, when the chips were down Spud done a runner, it was a half baked idea in the first place, no more will Molly squeeze his Kerry Pinks nor weigh up his King Edwards, for Spud ventured on to the broad horizons of America where he married a dark skinned maiden from Mexico and opened up a chip shop in Acapulco. and they lived happily ever after, or so a man from County Clare was telling me. 
He gave up easy with the Bird, sounds a bit “Half Baked” to me.