Attaboy Jem, that’s the spirit.
He has been offered a job (part time) as cultural ambassador for the remote island of Craggy Island, former home of Ted Crilley.
Dear Uncle V, I do hope I can call you V, V for victory that is. I write to you via your poxy proxy RJ who is always leading us up the garden path with tales beyond our imaginations. One such as you - congrats first of all on reaching the big 100 -what on earth does it feel like cause we all here are following on. But do rejoice with a glass of port or two and bill them to me -Gumbud OZ - they all know me here!
Now that you are 100 and have your freedom back perhaps you can use your fingers to good use instead of nefarious pursuits? Get old RJ to get you a ‘tablet’ - I trust you already have the skill of typing -olivetti trained no doubt like my good self and start your anals - you know everything that you have passed so far - put it on down on paper via your tablet of course and have it bound - very bound and we will all here, the very merry band of reprobates accept your first free copies.
again many happy returns V, may you return for the 200 also!
Gumbud, I knew I could rely on you to give your best shot for, or at me, uncle V will be delighted with your astute comments.
A surprise party has been organised by his dear old mum and dad.
I hope young master Vivian behaves himself at the party with his Mam and Dad there, no naughty jokes and silly pranks. Is Methuselah going to the party?
I’ve heard that a young fellow called Adam and his wife are attending dressed as ‘fig leafs’ and bring a basket full of apples to tempt us all with??:shock:
Crikey
Would you have ADam & Eve’d it?
yep and then they went up the apples and pears and we have the mess that we are in now!!
Every race has it’s own version of how mankind began, handy little tales to explain to children when they ask the type of questions that we ourselves don’t know the answers to. “Where do we go when we die Daddy?” Isn’t it better to tell them that when they die they go to a happy place rather than scaring the life outa them telling them what actually happens… saying they are put into a hole in the ground and eaten by maggots?, beats me how atheists explain these things to kids. 
How did it all begin, what do you think?
Is Adam and Eve the missing link?
Ponder away as much as you can
On the transition from beast to man
Contradict me I dare ye
But the pair of them had to be very hairy
Find the answer and then praise the Lord
You’ll be the one who found the lost umbilical cord.
TUT! I dunno what’s wrong with you,Jem.
Y’listen to US,y’don’t listen to THEM.
THEY’RE all just heathens,there’s nothing they know
but WE’VE got it right,so to Heaven we’ll go!
[apply to whichever faith happens to be relevant]
Hi Pug welcome back - no;no I like to see your front too!
I thought we had time
I thought we had time little brother
To sink a draught or two
I thought we had time
To tell some tales of you
I thought we had the time
To cross the pond once more
To share your crazy humor
But time just closed the door
We all wanted some more time
But thought it spun for ever
There was unfinished epoch tales
That could again bring us together
But we thought that we could play with time
Control it everyday
We had time machines strapped to our wrists
Displayed on mobile trays
We had calendars that spun the time
From month to month to year
We thought we had it all planned out
But forgot the man up there
So now little brother, I spend my time
Thinking of what might or could have been
I’m sure you’re having fun up there
With those others all unseen
© gumbud
“Eye has not, seen nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of Man, what God has prepared for him” Yes Pug we shall go to the Ball, see you there in the not too near future.:-)
love that latest poem Gumbud, your a darlin man with the words.
Now for something completely different from a Dublin sausage factory.
Watched a documentary about the birth of Hollywood the other night, there were fortunes to be made quickly if you got the right formula, big money up for grabs and immigrants, mostly from Europe, got a steady hold from the start, and their descendants still have plenty of clout in Hollywood today. I always loved the cinema so I’m grateful to everyone involved for all the fun I got from them over the years and now to be able to see some of my favourites again on youtube is fantastic. My Mother and Father were always at the picture house, they loved films, maybe I was conceived in a back seat who knows.
A hundred years of films or more
Have cheered the hearts of many
They lined up at the cinema door
Waiting to pay their penny
Charlie Chaplin swung his cane
Making us all chuckle
Some of his antics were quite insane
When fooling with Fatty Arbuckle
The Keystone Kops kept the law
Albeit a bit messy
Their brand of justice was raw
When arresting Two Ton Tessie
Johnny Weissmuller came much later
He could swim like a fish
He wrestled a fierce aliigator
Who looked like Lillian Gish
Plenty more film folk I should mention
But we didn’t get their names
Credits were paid no attention
Just the action frames.
bit of dab hand yaself me lad Jem with the poets pen - pity about the back seat of a cinema!!
Some crackers of late
Ahhh,it’s poems you’s are wanting,
Well,while I’m here at home
I’ll sit right down and write one out
Just…don’t confuse it with a pome!
[g’waaan-google it…ya KNOW ya want to…]
Lillian Gish was one of the first to get into the Hollywood big time, there were several Gish’s in the business, there was an actress sister called Patricia, Trish Gish who was quite a dish, and didn’t look like a fish. “You will get your little Fishy in a little dishy when the boat comes in” Ain’t that Cap’n Birdseye’s song?
I’m writing a new dictionary inspired by Benny Hill when he was on Mastermind, one question he was asked was what is an Asset, he replied “A little Ass” Very sensible answer when dealing with an impossible language. Please try to help me out in compiling this dictionary for the down to earth folks like meself, all contributions welcomed. Heres a new one for today.
“Gish” is a small cut, as opposed to a “Gash” which is a big cut.
The First Cut is the Deepest, that was because the Navvies got knackered, all that manual digging.
Here is one I made up JEM
ANAGRAN= similar to ANAGRAM but older.
SCHADENYUNG = similar to SCHADENFREUDE but not Freudian
Hot Jocks= undersized athletic garment
Par Cark= reserved car space for golfers
Thank you RJ, some nice ones there.
Digging is next to Godliness Spitty, it’s also good for the soul because it’s very holy, makes one humble too, you never hear two navigators arguing and saying “I am more holier than thou”, no matter how many holes he’s dug, gives you a whopping great thirst as well. Then there was poor old Douglas Clay who was sacked for being too slow.
There was a young navvy called Doug
Who drank tea from a big silver mug
One day in the hole, his mug it got stole
And the thief ended up in the jug.
LOCKed up no doubt.
No canals were built mid 20th century, and it wasn’t because they had become outmoded, it was because of Flower Power, them Hippies don’t DIG holes MAN.
two celtic chums went for a job for tree fellers, but were turned away cos there wuz only two of them.