lol … this warrents a perceptive reply 
[SIZE=“5”]JOYYYYYY … where are you ?[/SIZE]
I don’t get it…
I agree with you Spitty about the dangers of joining an army, folks should be warned, being shot and blown up can be very bad for ones health, they don’t mention that in the ads. Selling mountain climbing equipment is another one, why do people really climb mountains?
My mate Dinny is tall and handsome and considered to be smart
He courted a girl called Molly Dingle and almost broke her heart
But Mountains were his true passion along with all the latest fashion
Little did Molly know her beloved climber was also a sneaky two timer
Big Betty from the mountaineers club used to cuddle with him up in the pub, where she served the grub.
Now Betty was both pretty and smart knowing that food is the way to a mans heart
So she stuffed him with pies and rolls of the best hoping one day he would feather her nest
Alas all that food took it’s toll and poor Dinny got fat, no more mountains for him and that was that
He left Betty where he had found her, cos he could no longer get his arms around her
Now he sits alone by the fire, scoffing off pies to his hearts desire.
I think we are slowly being brainwashed to respond to sounds, more so the younger generation. Eventually the powers that be will have us all by the short and curlies, hopping through hoops at a given Buzz, bing, or bell, far easier to control the masses that way, much cheaper too and that’s a key factor for the multi national companies who run the show from behind the scenes but will be soon doing it in the open, we are all being “Tried out” at present. Another reason why they are not interested in how well our kids are educated, you don’t have to be clever to respond to a buzz, you can train a maggot to do it in a few seconds. (as seen on BBC4 not so long ago)
Yesterday the two grandsons were in the house and the sound of the smoke alarm batteries running out made them respond automatically, one says to the other “Is that your phone Sean?” “No it must be yours” “Not mine, is it yours granda?” “No I haven’t got one, thank God” Young Sean left a mobile phone beside me in the shed last year and suddenly it started jumpin around the bench, gave me quite a shock I can tell yeh. I have a battery operated walkie talkie for use when communicating with the wife from the shed which is down the bottom of the back garden, there I am working away when I hears this annoying noise buzzing sound, it stops then buzzes again, what the hell is that I ask meself, the batteries needing recharging, bells and buzzers are beginning to take over our lives.:shock:
you will when Joy arrives - Joy loves a romp with the rump heh Joy?
Bob’s been swing his bits for ages
As he runs up the hills and the dales
And as he puffs and he pants, his bits dangle in his pants
It’s not the way to treat a pair of friends!
I know his brains is on fire
And his muscles never tire
And the adrenalin just pulses through his veins
But I worry ‘bout his balls as they swing with every fall
Of his pounding feet upon the rocky tracks
Now if he was Roberta then the running would be fairer
And no bits would ever dangle in the wind
Everything is tucked inside except the mammarys hangin wide
But now I wonder who would have the better edge?
Perhaps we need a study, to decide whose fastest buddy
And whose bits would dynamically take the flag
Do you tuck them hangin low, or under chin rhythmically flow
And will Bobs bits become Roberta’s for a while?
I wonder what’s next on the Agender?
Have you noticed how the current generation of Chinese (students) are a head and shoulder in height above their parents.
I live in a University City & this phenomena is hard to ignore, when I take my lunchtime stroll along the high street.
THe only explanation for this is that they have access to finance annd food in plenty.
I just hope this generation of Orientals leave enough food for us indigenous ones.
Currently, there are 1 375 137 837 people in China & in the UK, a mere 63,182,000.
whatever you wish to add spittie - you have an open slate!
“Roberta”, my brother called me by that name when I was a teenager, AAH memories!
I think it was because we were so dissimilar. We were rather like Isaac & Essau, I was smooth & he was hairy.
I was clever academically & he was clever in practical matters. HE was short & stocky & I was tall & thin.
WE didn’t get on until long past our 40s, by which time we had grown more alike.
His pragmatism has rewarded him with substantial wealth.
My generous, if vain, nature has left me rich in friends.
Agender, brave new word to me, & no need to define Arfur or Marfa.
No
This is probably because I rarely see any Chinese people.
Par Excellence.
The Box my Teabags come in states “Average contents 240”, well two bags go in each pot I make, and when the stock was exhausted, there was an odd Teabag left over, I wonder if the box contained 239 or 241?
This is incredibly irritating and I sympathise.
It could be that there were 243, 5, 7 or even (no pun intended) fewer than 239 :shock:
Unless you count them before you start to use them, you will never be certain how many are present.
Whatever happened to the trash can?
Ode to the dumping ground
When a Topic becomes sour and People get ratty
When Folks become rude and not very chatty
When blood is boiling, and there’s tension in the sinews
There is a place where the fighting continues
Time to call in the Mod squad to handle the fussin’
Hide all the slaggin’ and stifle the cussin’

There you can shout ’til your hoarse in the vocal
Indeed to some it’s become their local
With scratching and screaming, biting and scheming
All hell is let loose egged on by a demon
Devised by a shrewd and cunning plan
It’s known to all as the dreaded Trash Can
Not a place for a softie to be found
Still it’s fun to have a poke around.
OMG you are not suggesting that Leisurely Scribbles has become a trash can R U?
they might have called it “recycling can” might they not?
Not suggesting anything really Gumbud, just a thought as I was looking through the different sections, dare I speak too soon but things seem to have settled down a bit, I still think the Trash Can was a great idea though.
Wonder where the Pug fella is, no sign of him for a while now. Here’s a new one for you Pug.
I was doing the Guinness brewery tour the other day and as I got to a huge vat of brew the chap in charge was very upset “What’s wrong with you mate?” I asked him gently. “I just ruined the whole brew in vat 3 and I don’t want to talk about it OK?” Then he started crying “There there my good man” says I “Let it all out, no point in bottling it all up”
I was filling in the census form today
And they asked me to fill in my agender
Well I wondered what they meant
Or had the meaning been miss sent?
So I simply wrote some days I’m rather bored!
Now when I ran the “Committee for Insane”
I always had an agender wrote in pain
But we addressed each cosmic point
And spoke in tongues and smoked some ‘joints’
And I was proud to say “I’m one of the insane”
I had a friend who was an agender bender
He wore clothes that suited his flamboyant moods
Sometimes a silken dress that all and sundry could caress
And then a pin stripped suit with polished shoes
I’ve had thugs that asked “Wot iz ya agender?”
As I gazed down the barrel of a gun
And I would apologize in hast and vault a 6ft gate
And reply “why my agender? Oh my dear I have none”
So I hope we have teased out the agender
And stretched it to its limits and then some more
Because if I didn’t know you well
I would scream “Agender Hell”
Meeting finished ‘meeting closed; please shut the door!”
Ah be God your in great form there Gumbud.
I had a good mate when I was in me twenties, and this is true, he was a football nut and a keep fit addict with muscles everywhere, a real He-man as they used to say. Himself and his missus would have a drink with the wife and me every Saturday night. One night when he was out in the toilet she told us that she came home from work early as she was worried about him, he was supposed to be sick in bed, he didn’t hear her come up the stairs and when she opened the door there was yerman all dolled up in her clothes with makeup on admiring himself in the wardrobe mirror!
I couldn’t stop laughing picturing the sight and when he got back to the bar he asked me what I was laughing at, that only made me worse, I wasn’t the better of it for weeks I can tell you, but gentleman that I am I never mentioned it to him. Not surprisingly they split up soon afterwards.
Recorded that latest Colider programme, and watched it tonight, guess what, another near miss, but at least, one of the experts was cruising around in a convertible, whilst expounding the theory, most refreshing.