Hearty apologies.
Dear Sirs
I see now that this is a completely serious thread with correspondance, only, between the intellectual element of this forum.
I should like to add that I remember stink bombs … very expensive … but my best friend’s parents came into money and she was able to buy some, deposited one in the waste paper bin in the sewing class (primary school), stamped on it and retreated rapidly … WONDROUSLY PONGY 
Yours faithfully
me
Just think what could be achieved, by a child armed with both Stink Bombs, and a Whoopee Cushion.
Ooooo … and joke poo
Hi Rache - welccome to the lads bar! - we used to have solo I think pop in here but I don’t know what happened but we DEFINITELY need some feminine outlooks to keep us lads on track.
We all have a passing acquaintance with the female form in many ways or perhaps not as many as we would like - so I think I speak for all the ‘chappies’ here and say “hear hear” sling ya hook in babe and give us a dressing down when we need it!
we are all mature gentlemen of the persuasive variety so can take what you may meter out!:shock:
I used to crack a mean whip myself once you may recall ?
Ta for the welcome Gummy.
Unsure about my outlooks being feminine, although I’d not given it a great deal of thought.
Ahhhh the ‘mean whip’ … lol … days of yore 
shh shh - the lads may get too excited on here!:surprised:
I bumped into a bloke the other day and recognised him from back in my schooldays in the 1950s & 1960s. The recognition was mutual, surprisingly as we last saw each other in 1964, over 50 years ago now.
I was secretly pleased that I was lighter than him, had more hair& more teeth. After a brief exchange of good wishes, we went our ways ,having nothing more to say. I should have been more expansive but I didn’t feel like it. I guess he had nothing to say either.
What a coincidence that after 52 years we should meet again.
How miraculous then that we should bump into each other the following day …spooky. We just nodded to each other without even slowing down our walking pace.
Ah Rachel! what a pleasant surprise to see you here, pull over a stool by the bar and make yourself at home, I was going to say by the fire but it’s too warm for that tonight. I’ll be looking out for one or two of your lovely original poems when you get the chance. Molloy’s is still there in Tallaght and going strong, my brother lives there where he raised his family, he’s a regular in Molloy’s, but he should be a partner for all the brass he spent in it.
I was in Specsavers today RJ and guess who I bumped into?..everyone.
“I was reading of a house for sale in beverly Hills, very expensive but it features some Hollywood grates, a Clarke Gable end made of Sharon Stone. All the bathrooms are by Christopher Plummer with the help of a Lou Grant. The bedrooms all have Diana Dors”
I jotted that down in an old diary I found in the attic dated 1995, what the hell was I thinking when I wrote that I wonder? Did you ever do that, find an old scribble and wonder what it was all about. It reminds me of the old days when we used newspaper to wipe our bums, you’d be sitting there then reach for a piece of paper and something in the paper would catch your eye and you’d start reading it, then just when you’re getting to an interesting part the bit you want to continue reading is torn off, you lift the rest of the papers off the hook and begin to search but you can never find the bit you want, used to drive me nuts.
See Rachel, this is very cognitive, no need to Chat.
that’s the British for ya - ya all need a few pints of Italian blood transfused! - I talk to people everyday that I’ve never seen before!!
Do you think you were higher, or lower on the HDI?
I think most of us have lost our cogs and need a cat! - especially that Jem fellow!
Jem I was watchin antique road show the other day - seeing as I am antique and it was from Castle Coole [real cool] in Enniskillen N.Ireland. God they do talk funny up there couldn’t understand a word they were saying and that was without the gaelic! fortunately we have sub-titles not as good as the grand titles but we get by wid dem!
More Jaw Jaw, less War War, I was watching the ads on the telly, and a thought occurred to me, when Fags are advertised there is a warning “Smoking can damage your Health”, then there is Alcohol “Drink Responsibly”, but the add for joining the Forces, had no warnings, it is a very necessary job, but just showed sporting events, and training for very technical jobs which could be misleading, I wondered if the bottom line needed pointing out.
I would suggest a nice courteous letter to the war office Spittie might help and as you are closer than I, I will let you take the lead in this one!
now I’m off to do some “ballroom dancing” and have a look at “bobs bits” they seem to be wobbling about a lot these days?:shock:
I’d rather go ballroom dancing
Than have a little snog wiv you
Rather do a waltz or minuet
Cos snoggin always makes me blue
When I whirl around the ballroom nicely
I feel charming; and alarming and crude
I’d rather go ballroom dancing
Than have a little snog wiv you
When snoggin I can’t handle drippin noses
And a tongue like a whirling devishe
And hot breath upon my cheek, make me knees feel very weak
I’d rather do a tango like a freak!
Try Kissing, not Snogging, you’ll soon get the “Hang” of it.
By the way, I think Bobs bits is inspirational, having been Wobbly for a considerable time period.
It’s a fair cop chums, I admit to being occasionally aloof , detached even. I blame my uncle Vivian who lodged with us until I was aged 4.
As a matter of interest I can’t find anyone on my family tree with his name. My father admitted years ago that he (Vivian) had followed the newlyweds back home after the reception. Mum thought he was a friend of Dad & vice versa.
My namesake and father’s brother Robert Senior, a rascsal if ever there was one, but in a happy way, also lived with us. A life time of being at sea enabled me to benefit from his extensive vocabulary.
I mention uncle Bob, mainly to reveal that this could be the origin of the expression “Bob’s yer Uncle”.
Anyway where was I?
Oh yes, uncle Bob suffered more and more with alcohol addiction & after one too many bouts of throwing up on the lino in the hallway, mum booted him out. Uncle Vivian had been secretly sub letting his room to Lascar laundry workers.
The steaming piles of wet & dry sheets was a give away. It would have helped if they didn’t bring their children with them.
Uncle Bob went to live with his sister Rose. Rose had 4 sons, all of whom were divorced & she put them up, After her death, Bob took to his bed & died 2 weeks later.
More later…
Whoa ! good point :!: :shock:
Def could be injurous to one’s health … and other people’s.
Legalised maiming (physical and psychological) and murder innit …
I did a job for a middle aged divorced lady down the road, the other day, and she invited me to join her for a dinner of Steak and Chips, whilst she bent over, removing the Joint from the oven, I could not help complimenting her on her juicy Rump.
