I thought you had Spitty.
Nah, nowadays it’s just me and the Spittoon.
Oh dear you need some snog practice.
Not at all, in fact, I’m all snogged out, not sure there’s enough in the tank to kiss goodbye to my ass.
Sweetie, are you “On” at the moment?
On???
On what???
The monument.
NO ! The wine.
I think he was talkin about the stage at Butlins??
have yu installed a bidet in your sunhouse spittie?? could be handy or even hardy??
erhmm erhmm?? - der iZ a rights way mon and der iZ a wrong way mon of given ‘em da chisel - ya ken wot I’m sayin Jimmy? uv ‘erd of ‘de bull in de china shop’ mon - let me aksk ya a qu’ qu’ question mon - "wot iz it that yez got abut china shops??
innit
ps: sings as departs off stage left "tip toe through the tulips ; tip toe through the tulips [or china shop for that matter]
pps: did I comment on your lovely wrap around lurex top yuz have on tonight - love the purple lipstick and that redhead wig is divine darling! - pity about the kilt!
Whul, the problem with being right is that peoples don’ want to yer it, cos it meanz they be wrong.
I should know, most peoples only listen to oi when oime wrong. When oime right, everywun wantz to tell I oi be wrong. Why iz thaat?
Tis easy to be right, when you hang about wiv wrong’uns.
Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble
When you’re perfect in every way
I can’t wait to look in the mirror
Cause I get better looking each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord It’s hard to be humble,
But I’m doing the best that I can
innit
I feel pretty
Oh, so pretty
I feel pretty, and witty today
And I pity
Any onel who isn’t me today
I feel pretty
Oh, so pretty
I feel pretty, and witty and bright
And I pity any one who isn’t me tonight
I feel charming
Oh, so charming
It’s alarming how charming I feel
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I’m real
INNIT (said in deep loud manly voice)
Any chance of having my shoes back please?
only if you promise to get rid of the squeak - on second thoughts NO leave it - I’ve got another idea!!
What frigging shoes?
There’s no one to talk with
I’ll talk with my shoe
He does have a tongue
And an inner sole too
He’s awfully well polished
So straitlaced and neat
But he talks about nothing
but feet…feet…feet .:shock:
Shel Silverstein
preferred his Dr Hook songs - hic! just woke up and found my hand on her mouse - wot’s goin on??