“fetid” heh - bring some disinfectant Mrs Pug and the hosepipe! we don’t know how ya put up wiv it lass honestly we don’t - ever fort of incense coils?
No gummy, you know as well as I do that, that sort self bashin, only causes deterioration of the eyesight.
wot washin dishes?? amazin!
“Washin dishes, pullin switches, dodging ditches, I was working on the Railway”
I’ve been enjoying the nice sunny weather over the last few days, I’m as brown as a berry, funny how all the white people want to go brown and the brown people white, Michael Jackson ended up as pale as a corpse and finally just a corpse.:shock:
Yes Pug the price of smokes has gone through the roof, all the smokers are having to make up the shortfall for all those who packed them up, this Country used to be run on the tax and VAT from Smokes, Petrol, and booze alone, all this clean living is costing me an indirect fortune and I’m not doing any clean living meself, not a bit fair I say.
I caught a mouse last night, a fairly big one as mice go, he was driving me nuts with his scratching.:twisted:
There’s a mouse in the attic above my head
It’s driving me crazy as I lie in my bed
Scratching the rafters and treading the ceiling
Very annoying and an uneasy feeling
That’s it!, I’ve had enough
It’s time is up, tough
Out of bed and on with the robe
Torch in hand to the attic to probe
When up there I paces a bit
Quietly looking for traces of shit
I carefully lay down two cocked traps
Get back to bed and wait for the snaps
A clap and then a tiny squeal
The bastard just had it’s last meal.
you’ve got a nasty streak in ya Jem - poor mice!:shock:
Yeah Jem, sometimes you just have to let it go.
thought for the day
If your cup is only half full you probably need a different bra
I have to say my old body is in excellent shape Spitty, an hours exercise every day without fail has paid off dividends in me old age. I never exercised until 15 years ago when I had to spend 2 weeks in hospital, when I got home I was as stiff as a plank with aches all over me body from lying in the bed, it was painful putting on clothes and bending down, I swore I would never get like that again so I devised a simple one hour a day exercise to suit meself, been as fit as a fiddle ever since, as me 17 year old grandson said when he introduced me to his mate “This is me granddad, he’s not much older than he looks” Figure that one out if you can, I can’t.
Yes Jem, it is good when exercise for longevity, replaces, exercise for vanity.
Well put Spitty, it’s true and it costs you nothing, as I said I was 55 when I started exercising so it’s not too late for most people on here to consider it, what can you lose but an hour or less per day and you will gain many more active years.
Batteries! Jaysus I hate batteries, life’s too short to be waiting for batteries to charge up, I’m convinced there are other means of portable power and they are deliberately holding back because of the multi billion pound profits in batteries. The human body is using up electricity to power the brain all the time, surely they could tap into our own electricity supply and power a few low voltage gadgets like phones and pads.
Speaking of brains, heard someone say on TV the other day that they attended a lecture on meditation in order to “Develop his mind”, my question is how does one know when ones mind is fully developed? I mean other parts of the body grow until they are fully developed, like a Liver or your teeth, and when your mind is fully developed does that mean you know everything? My brain development badly needs a kickstart, it stopped developing when I was six or thereabouts.:-);-)
Have the Scapegoats escaped?
no buts there’s roos loose in the top paddock!
Is it mean to be lean or trash to be fat?
Does exercising mean you’re still eating the crap?
Being lean for ya coffin means ya mean with the dosh
Or is it because you can’t fit in that frock?
The rotund they are jolly; it displays all their wealth
The skinny are sneaky and noted for stealth
I have never ever seen a skinny man smile
But the rotund brings on laughter for many a mile
So put down ya bars and ya muscle man springs
Just lifting a pint is enough to give zing
And walkin ta pub with the dog on a lead
Is all that ya need and just the right speed
The Bodies are supplied to pre-determined designs
But are altered by the way “one” wines and dines
In original form, it is beauty and function
This state being altered by excess then compunction
It’s incumbent on “one” when Time is befitting
To return said carcass, to the “Factory Setting”.
Very nice lads.
Aunts used to be a good source of information years ago, especially for little girls, how to make cream sponge cakes. apple tarts, Christmas puddings and all sorts of good stuff to fatten you up and put a bit of colour into your face, back then it wasn’t considered healthy to look skinny, they even had a different name for dieting too, they called it “Wasting”
But being happy and having a roof over your head and plenty to eat is by far the main thing we all try to achieve, of course the greedy will always be with us.
“Shall I be fat or shall I be skinny?”
The little girl asked her rounded Aunt Ginny
“Depending on the kind of man you want to meet
You’ll have to be careful in what you eat”
“I’ll remember what you said
But tell me who did you wed?”
“I married Fat Dan the ice-cream man
Now we eat everything whenever we can”.
Closer than the nearest heartbeat
Longer that expected-ther were great-
Oh love oh love just to see them
Acting on the silver screen, oh my
Clark Gable, Fairbanks, Maureen O’Sullivan
Fantasy would fill my life and I
Love fantasy so much
Did you see in the morning light
I really talked, yes I did, to Gods early dawning light
And I was privileged to be as I am to this day
To be with you. To be with you
Lovely poem Spitty, very emotional.
We buried an old drinking pal yesterday, Bart Scully, an American with Irish parents who emigrated to Boston in the 1940’s. Bart came over to live in Dublin when he retired several years ago, his Dublin born wife Maureen will miss him terribly as they were a very close old couple. He used to get around in a wheelchair for the last few years and had just got one of those new motorised models, I christened him “The Gringo in the Quingo”, he liked that. Terrific wake last night, one to be remembered, R.I.P Bart me auld son.
I do like a good wake but I’ve missed too many
The last wake that I went to; they were crawling up the walls
Aunty Edna staggered backwards with her champagne glass held tall
Uncle Sydney’s hand was hangin low as he fondled bums and all
I bumped into cousin Alfred who had pinched a girl from me
So I grabbed him by his three piece and said you have to leave
He followed me quite meekly with glazed eyes which could not see
And when we got outside I felled him like a tree!
Cousin Ethel sidled up to me with a gleam upon her face
“ haven’t seen you Charlie since you had me in your place”
“Well I’m afraid me memories failing” I whispered in her ear
“But I can give you a lift to somewhere and take it all from there?”
But as we where were slowly leaving Uncle Willie spotted us
And bawled out in his gruff old voice “Are you going somewhere rough?”
We stood as if cemented couldn’t move a limb or smile
“Well just stepping out for some fresh air I squeaked, we’ll be back in little while”!
We got outside and Ethel squeaked should we take your car or mine
She had a maserati so I said “yours look just fine ‘just fine”
The End! [based on a true event; the names have been changed to protect the innocent!]
Gut feeling has been mentioned quite a bit, as a young pseudo thug. I was responsible for a bit of aggravation, which caused an angry mob to assemble, this mob filled the street, and chased us nonlocals for a mile or so, at which point, after achieving clear air, I suggested, we went across country, to prevent us being ambushed, this suggestion was poopooed as impossible as we were in advance of the chasing mob, but, after taking a blind bend, we were confronted again, and had to take evasive measures, just goes to show, sometimes you have to think what you would do, sometimes against the logic.
logic can often be flawed but gut feelings never! like “it is just not logical that he is going to kill me with his pointed gun - …k I’ve had a gut full of this I’m getting out of here quick”
or
logic - “I can see no reason why she will fall for all my charms - to I’ve a gut feeling I’ve really blown my chances with this girl”