I recognise that geezer.
Can’t let this excellent scribble go to waste Jem so I will add my small contribution. Even in the working class there were snobbery such as using either Izal bog roll or newspaper.
But I digress so back to being a fishmonger. Must give Halibut a mention 
I be here I be.
As Mrs Pie mentioned, a lot has been happening at Fruitcake Folly concerning the older generation who live with us, and it has kept me from the more important virtual world of scribbling.
I like the Marx brothers filums, in fact I like a lot of old filums. Did you know that Harpo Marx could speak, but chose not to after someone was rude about his voice, unlike Buster Keaton who couldn’t shout loud enough to be heard in the cinema from the film set.
Apropos of absolutely nothing pertinent, I started a new project in my workshop last week. Just to be clear, I don’t work, well not for money, and I don’t have a shop, a-cause I don’t sell things, but a workshop it is neverthemore.
It has a skylight. This isn’t a light, nor is it in the sky, for that would be impossible, but it is a hole in the roof to let in light, and the sky can be seen through it if you don’t mind getting a crick in your neck doing so.
Anyway, I wanted to make a new clock to go above the garage door a-cause the previous version had failed, and the one afore that was vandalised.
I had somehow acquired the end of a beer barrel. What happened to the rest of the barrel, or indeed the beer contained within, I know not.
So, I started repairing the aforesaid barrel end that had come apart, planning to use it as the base of a widdershins clock. Unfortunately at this point the Chancellor of the Handbag decreed that three new projects were required, namely the manufacture of a small table and two stools, pushing my clock down to fourth priority. sigh
Women, what ever would we do without them?
Oh well, the table is complete so I can now make a start on the stools once the woodstain has dried. With luck I might get to restart work on the clock some time next week …
Imagine if you will, an image of me not holding my breath.
Forget the Stools Fruity, get on with the Clock, time waits for no man.
Perhaps you would like to explain your reasoning to my Lovely Cousin. If she says get on with the clock after you have reasoned with her, then that is what I shall do.
If however she sticks with her original idea, then I will not argify with her.
As you can probably tell, I’ve got her exactly where she wants me. 
Your a man after me own heart Fruity, great to have a little workshop to potter about in and make what you like when you like. 
They used to have a half hour program on our national TV station years ago called “Hands” featuring all sorts of folks making all sort of things with their hands, Blacksmiths, carpenters, potters, etc., I could look at that type of thing all day long. The best of luck with the clock.
Just gently tug her emotional strings, and ask, my dear, in the event of the inevitable happening before my time, wouldn’t you want to remember for Clock, than my “Stools”.
I got a good belly laugh watching that Solo, the faces on the women was something else, as me granny used to say “You wouldn’t know if they were vexed of pleased” I put it on the big TV screen and Phyllis loved it too, she gets all her fish from the local fishmonger Harry, according to her Harry is the greatest, and to be fair his fish is the freshest you can get, I asked her could she imagine Harry in a G string. I’m trying to picture Gumbud in one and it ain’t a pretty sight.
Thanks for posting that.
My son, who’s married to an Italian girl was telling me yesterday that they are thinking of moving to Italy this year, Northern Italy as the heat is not too much there, he’s not good with very hot weather, I will miss them badly, especially the little fella who will be five next month.
So I was a bit down in the dumps yesterday afternoon, it was raining and very cold outside, there was just the missus and me, she had a well earned nap on the sofa, something I could never do in the afternoons, then I stated thinking about the old Winter Sunday afternoons of my boyhood, I can still sense the boredom to this day.
Wet Sunday afternoons in my boyhood was Old Grandad sleeping in his armchair, strange sounds coming from his nose and mouth, me Uncle Joe sitting by the small table filling in his railway time sheet and his brain strained trying to figure out how to fiddle a few hours, his long legs spread all over the place. Billy’s weekly liar he used to call the sheet, he was using one of those pencils you have to lick every so often and he always ended up with a purple tongue. the Granny moving about upstairs tiding up and making the beds, me Aunt Eileen sitting by the fire reading “Woman’s Own”, movie go round on the radio trying to explain what the new films were like, and the brother and me twirling our thumbs with boredom, wishing we had a shilling to go to the pictures, no such luck. I certainly don’t miss those miserable Sunday afternoons.
I don 't think that is what he was saying Jem - read again then please explain!
I was just pointing out the benefits of having a small workshop Gummy, i did not want to be rude, what Fruity does with the barrel and his wife is strictly their own business.
Anyway I can’t be hanging around here all day, I’m off out to the shed to take apart an old armchair so it’ll fit in the bin, it has Queen Anne legs, wonder would they be worth salvaging?
It depends how much she is offering to get them back.
Yes, my workshop is mine for me to make what I like, when I like, as long as it is done after anything my Lovely comes up with.
Of course, any job she wants doing immediately goes to the top of the priority list, even if I’m part way through another of “her projects.” I then get told off for not finishing the job I had to abandon to start the higher priority new job what has just been hoist upon me.
It’s my own fault. If I was crap at making things I wouldn’t get asked. Then of course I wouldn’t be able to make anything for meself either.
A victim of my own success I am.
FRuity, aint it just the goldarn truth now
Hello possums
I am back from arrangements, and hubby talking with Father O’Holy.
I see Fruity has returned, I will read through all later.
Allow me to ruin your day,cheps…TWO DAYS,having arrived beck on shore,to install the new boiler…thet’s TWO FULL DAYS,not stopping to sleep…and including hevving to totalleh re-design the kitchen sink supports…because the ‘‘govurrmint expurts’’,wot made THREE trips art to Puggy Island [it’s like Craggy Island,but without the collars,Jem] got the bleedin’ MEASUREMENTS wrong [W@NKERS!] AND ordered the wrong TYPE of boiler,as THIS one has an external expansion tank!!! [SNARL!] THUS yours truly working TWO FULL DAYS-and yes,it was videoed by Yes Dear,who was a SMIDGEON unimpressed avec…of all the turds on the planet-MOI!!!..because I refused POINT EFFING BLANK to stop until the twatting thing was in…and - it now IS!!! …EXCEPT …
http://i63.tinypic.com/2j27nh3.jpg
http://i64.tinypic.com/15qtctk.jpg
http://i67.tinypic.com/24v89hz.jpg
http://i66.tinypic.com/2zf4uuf.jpg
WE CAN’T USE THE EFFING THING COZ THOSE DOZY SUPERW#NKERS SENT THE INCORRECT EFFING FLUE!!! YEP…the people yoonme rely on to run this country,sort it’s problems,keep it efficient and ensure our safety…GOT THE FUKKIN CHIMNEY WRONG AFTER THREE B#STARD VISITS TO CHECK!!! Me? P1ssed off? Wotton URF makes you think that??? And all this after I’ve had three days at sea,sorting THEIR fkn problems forrem.ffs! And can y’guess when the CORRECT flue will arrive [via Hermes,ffs]…eh? Yep-give that man a doughnut…FRIDAY!!! Ohhh,this government is SO totally inept and useless,it couldn’t find it’s thumb with a hammer,ffs! Right had me say … carry on,chaps.
OMG Pugsy Bear - You need a hug.
http://www.animatedimages.org/data/media/1264/animated-hug-image-0112.gif
I knew you were wrapped up in something when we didn’t hear from you Pug.
That’s unbelievable, you and the missus must be really pissed off by now, what can one say when faced with such official complete incompetence, truly amazing!
Hang in there anyway, what else can you do says you.:shock:
Spitty your ‘Get you’ thread reminded me of a pub I once visited.
About ten years ago some entrepreneur opened up a self service pub here in the city, it was a novel idea at the time. I was curious and went along, there were two bouncers on the door as I peeked inside and saw a long bar with shelves filled with bottles of spirits. I went in and got meself a large brandy and then sat down at the bar to sip it. there was nobody serving so I couldn’t say “Could I have” but I could get all I wanted.
Then suddenly a thought went through my mind and I got up and went out to one of the bouncers “Tell me this young man, how do you know how much drink each person has had?” “Oh that’s easy sir, we put a dipstick up their arse when they come out, are you going out sir?” “Er no, not yet”
I’m heading out now for a pint from an experienced barman, not many of them left, see yis tomorrow.
Gumbud, i seem to have lost touch
Jem, I envy your trips to the pub & social life
Spitty carry on carryng on
Pugsy, nice wallpaper.
sorry if i’ve missed out someone
ME!!!