Ah a bar thats renowned for it’s pint of Guinness Gummy, sadly not too many of them left today.
Perfection, the real thing has to be in a glass glass and served with love and care at the correct temperature by a qualified bar person, expect to wait 10 minutes for it to settle properly, it’ll have a solid body on it and a half inch creamy head, your ideal surroundings would be bare wooden seats and tables in an old Dublin public house with no modern gadgets in sight, no TV either just conversation and craic.
My only wish when I die is that there is an old Dublin pub in heaven, and old Arthur Guinness himself serves me a pint of his wonderful creation, God bless you Arthur me auld son. .
The ABV would have to be upped, see more units, less trips to the bog, simples.
This might be a job fo Mr Pug - when did the BAL change from 0.08 to 0.5
two standard drinks can just reach 0.05 whilst it would 4 standard drinks to hit 0.08% regular drinkers may confuse the figures!! hic I’ll have a bourbon [double]
Yes,that! [/]
When I walk into a tufty-boy saloon wearing [only] my spurs and leather chaps, the LAST thing on my mind is “I wonder which one of these gorillas likes sugary chocolate”. No;I tend to be thinking “This is the LAST time I lose a bet to that bastard!” …coz losing bets ALWAYS seems to involve getting dressed like a Nancy and attracting attention! …or is that just my inner whimsical…
Oh - and I know that it became 0.08 in Oz in 1991.
But in England it’s 350 micrograms of alcohol per litre of breath, measured using the brAC constant, whereas in Scotland it’s 220 per litre. Dunno why, other than I’m totes gorgeous & don’t drink,so they Scots are well jealous of moi,so need to get ‘drammed’ to ease the pain of being 2nd-best,or even completely ignored,when girlies are drooling and salivating over me,as per.
[I’m going to HATE waking from this dream…]
I was wondering when the word ‘Hello’ first came into use as a greeting, my guess is it was in the 1800’s well before the telephone was invented, not important but I was just curious.
Hello is also an internationally used word when answering the phone, Bell and Edison had a huge row over the proper way to answer the phone, Bell wanted to use “Ahoy” and Edison wanted to use “Hello” we all know who won that argument. The Beatles wrote a song about it, even threw in a footballer for good measure “Eusebio and I say goodbye, hello hello, I don’t know why you say hello…” 
There are too many conflicting answers on google there days, you can’t trust anyone anymore, I prefer to ask here or make up me own version. I used to love marshmallows but when I discovered what gelatin consists of I’ll never eat eat another one. (see bottom of post, but if you like marshmallow I’ve advise against reading it)
Origin of the Marshmallow, according to Jem
An ancient race of people lived in the marches and never washed, the Lord was very angry with them for being unclean, cleanliness is next to Godliness and all that, so he turned them into sugar, water, and gelatin, whipped them all together and that’s why they are called Marsh Smellos. 
“Gelatin is a yellowish, odorless, and nearly tasteless substance that is made by prolonged boiling of skin, cartilage, and bones from animals. It’s made primarily from the stuff meat industries have left over — we’re talking about pork skins, horns, and cattle bones”
Oh my Gawd!:shock::shock::shock:
Sounds like Bells End.
Why do Forums have so many spatulas?
lets get back to ‘normal’ - now where is that ‘normal’ door - Help! Help! the scribbles are gettin me again!
there was a young fella of leisure
a Jem of a Jem of a fella
he had nowt to do and would sit on the loo
just scribbling away for his leisure
OR should that be “playing around with his fella”?
I don’t know I make em up as a go along and his is long
lets try that again shall we kiddies
there was a young fellow called scribble
who would constantly constantly dribble
his mother grew weary then scary and scary
so she said he could scribble for leisure
so that is the end of my tale [tail]
oh yea I hear them constantly wail
we come here to scribble
to leisurely scribble not listen to all of your tales!
What’s the matter Gummy, there comes a time when the “Toy Area” in the Waiting Room loses it’s appeal, or wasn’t appealing in the first place, that’s the way it goes.
Hey spittie you play with your toys and I’ll play with mine “the pen is mightier than the sword” that’s why I scribble leisurely and watch all the slow deaths in the waiting room!
talking of which the old railways [steam era] waiting rooms were a thing to behold and sometimes you got a fire! - is that where you met Mrs Spittie ; by the fire?
My doctor is very old fashiond but very tight, he still keeps newspapers in his waiting room. I was up there yesterday waiting to see him and glanced at the headlines, God that was terrible about the Titanic wasn’t it?
In the far off land of Australia many years ago
A stranger landed on it’s shores wondering where to go
Suitcase in hand he stepped off the gang plank
And having spent his tenner on the trip, his wallet was quite blank
“Hello me old mucker” a voice boomed out from the quayside bar
“Mind yerself crossing the road and come over for a jar”
“Remember me Gumbud?” Me name is Terrible Tommy
Your stuck here now forever, they’ll never call you a ping pong Pommy"
So they let by gums be by gums and becan lifelong mates,
and as the saying goes, he went on to become more Australian than the Australians themselves.;-)
Ohhh,JEEZ,this enforced retirement lark is BORING!
I’ve taken the pooches along the beach,
where I sat & wrote songs I then played.
And although the sky remains out of reach,
my poor 12-string guitar was flayed.
I’ve vacuumed,cooked,got tonight’s meal all ready,
even painted my office ceiling bright white…
…but if some excitement doesn’t come soon
I’m gonna die of boredom by tonight!
Pug dear fellow, boredom is in the eyes of the bored.
Just take a walk in the park, let the wonders that surround you seep in, simple things and how simple they seem but are actually very complicated, the humble leaf on the old oak tree, stop and pluck one, turn it over and look at the back of it, see the hundreds of tiny lines spreading out in all directions, all with a purpose (there’s that word again Gummy:-)), well now think of yourself in forced retirement, your are that leaf you’ve just turned over and you can go in any direction you please.
Now let’s all sing Psalm No. 46 “Life is like a tree so play it again psalm”
Cheer up old son we’re all rooting for you”:-)
rooting for him heh? - well that’s got a different connotation on the aussie shores to be shore to be shore - we’re rooting for ya Pug - form a single line Jem and let wheelchairs go first - hi RJ wanna push??
but seriously folks as the comics often chorus - I was watchin a doco the other night about a famous aussie photographer who was brought up in the wild and ruggered top end - hang on hang on I’m getting to the point or was that pint?
he had another rookie photographer with him and at one point as they were climbing mountains and watching waterfalls the senior said " today I don’t want you to take any photos just stop and look at the scenes - watch them change - watch the colors - see the changing nature and then we’ll come back tomorrow and do some camera work "
NB: we can be too busy snapping the pics ; snapping at life each day that we forget to stop and see and smell the roses - mines a pint of guiness Jem!
Yebbut,although I appreciate the reasonings and can evaluate the sympostic cerebral melee behind them…it really is tres difficile [he said,in excellent German] to fill 24/7 with jollity over a leaf! I live on an island,Jem,so wildlife of various genealogical diversities are a constant…and yes,one has even been swimming maaaaaaany times,both in the sea and in the river. Just last week I was asked [very politely,may I add] to give a talk to some EA students regarding sub-photonic non-gravitational acceleration,including non-directional expansion,the sub-mass changes undergone during re-affirmation,plus the vectoring densities. Now;THAT was interesting. Sat with those students,explaining how non-gravitational sub-structures manage to attract enough mass to reform themselves into gasses,although doing so in total vacuum is a somewhat slow process…anyway,the point is today,I’ve buried the cat [he’s not dead,it just really annoys him],swam in the sea,written some music,made a Bolognese for tonight,walked the pooches around the headland twice,been to get some fuel,finished reading two books…and still the enforced idleness bears down. Sod it - I may just decide to ‘go voluntary’ again. I did once work at weekends in a [fairly] local Cancer Research charity shop. …but I got the sack. Yes,really. I must be the only person ever,in the history of employment through the ages,ever to get the sack for being too thorough.
A chap was shoplifting. I faced him. He started the ‘wellard’ stuff. He came 2nd. When searched,he had several items,all stolen,on his person. I got the sack-because I was deemed a tad too thorough regarding the tactics I employed to dissuade him from hurting the staff,the other people in the shop,their kids,etc. Hmm…been an interesting life… When I told my mate Atillio that I’d been sacked and why,did he sympathise with me? Did he offer comfort to my inability to understand how stopping an armed [he waved a knife around] shoplifter in his tracks got me sacked? Nahhh;the rotten sod laughed his socks off! To this day,he HAS to keep bringing up “You got the sack from an unpaid charity volunteer job! MWAHAHAHAHA!” [I’ve always hated Atillio,btw…]
Well then Pug there is very little hope of you escaping boredom, when all the roses have been smelt and felt, all the books have been read, all the villains thumped, all the tunes composed, and all the cats buried, what else is there to do?
Hand on, I know, give yourself a hefty knock on the head, and when you get amnesia you can start all over again.:-)
Yeah but Pug, after raising and depositing Skips, all else Pales into Insignificance.
See, it is hard to be convinced that one folk knows all shite, but, some folks know how to move shite from A to B.
I don’t know how Jem has a Beer with anyone, when his mates turn up, he buggers Off.
losing the magic of nature is a tragic one Pug as that is where we comes from and despite all the troubles in the world well we wont go into that the planet is still a wonderful place - I think it is time for you to travel a bit - I read a book once of a guy who walked right around britain ireland and scotland just for the fun of it then wrote a book and made some money, ya like a mole in a hole Pug - hangin around the same hole to much.
yes take yaself off for a good holiday but first check yaself in to a good trick cyclist and have a safety check and get some blue tablets OK?