that’s why MOST men have a good strong hand shake! mind you with a name like spitfire he’d need to be a macintosh job all the time !
That’s true Jem, pre puberty, lads only had to change their pants once a week.
Is that a compliment?
I keep getting the urge, to toot my old Bicycle Horn, at the most inappropriate moments, it has become such a problem, for friends and neighbours that, I have had to seek medical advice, as a result of a referral by my GP, I am on the waiting list to see a Consultant HONKologist.
Ah yes I had occasion to visit a Honkologist, he was a very big noise, the Association for Honkologists have their headquarters in Tooting I believe.
Conkologists on the other hand do the nose jobs, I was talking to the chap who worked on Barry Manilow and he told me it was quire a challenge, he had to take on extra staff for that month.
I used to dread going to confession every month on a Saturday afternoon, my dad was very strict on religion back then.
I devised a cunning plan to avoid telling everything in the box, but it needed the same priest every time to work. Father Ryan was ideal, you didn’t have to tell him your sins, he would list off the usual suspect sins and you said either yes father or no father, I would plead guilty to the venial sins but never the mortal sins, when he finished his list he would always say “And is there anything you left out my son?” “Oh yes Father, just the one, I told lies” “Very good, I absolve you in the name of the father the son and the holy ghost”
Always worked a treat and you told the truth in the end,. the present just pipped the past tense on the line.;-)
just the blunt basics.
isn’t that what the vicars daughter said to the sailor ??
Nowadays sex is in your face everywhere you look,
as the gynecologist said to his trainee assistant?
we could be on a roll hear lads as the carpet layer said to the lady of the house?
Oh not another Irish joke??
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed… “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy".
Another little gold nugget there Gummy, that’ll go down very well up in the local tomorrow.
Either the kids today have the seasons mixed up or I’m going deaf, the grandson walks into the house today and I said hello to him, then I said “”It’s a lovely Summers day isn’t it Liam?” “It’s awesome grandad” “No it’s not, it’s still Summer.
I think Gummy needs a Bonkologist:lol:, and maybe a good Anne Summers day:lol:.
Most people mock En Suites, but, having one no longer means you have to get in line for the Throne:lol:
you talk in riddles or should that be piddles!
One has to Piddle, or Widdle
One don’t ave to Diddle of Fiddle
One is giving the piss
One is taking the piss
Why is there something devinal
Lurking in the urinal
I once spent some time at urinal
let it all out thought that’s final
but on the last shake; I sprayed onto me mate
he wasn’t too happy with denialal!
I’ve never been to France but I hear they have public stand up urinals in Paris, wonder have they any sit down arsenals?
don’t ya mean shit down arsenals? or was that shut down arse in nails?
The innate crudity contained and displayed within these hallowed pages is giving me thought…
Y’see;I was just about to join our local debating society-but I was talked out of it…
Crudity is right Pug, I find it utterly revolting, I feel quite faint now, think I’ll have another cool larger to steady me up.
Maybe it’s as well you were talked out of it Pug me lad, I prefer to debate with a few friends in the pub, formal debating societies are not my cup of tea, I can honestly say that I don’t enjoy mass debating.
Nothing is ever reconciled in a mass debate, much more is resolved in a natter with a Tosspot.