Rhymes maketh not good verse per se
viz…free style
phaínetaí moi kênos ísos théoisin
émmen᾽ ṓnēr, óttis enántiós toi
isdánei kaì plásion âdu phōneí-
sas upakoúei.
“That man seems to me to be equal to the gods
who is sitting opposite you
and hears you nearby
speaking sweetly.”
(*Sapphic Stanza)
Jem, I will be 70 shortly & I know what you mean.
Welcome back Rachel.
THANK YOU 
Much appreciated
Have you ever quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And have you figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. Do you know why men think with their head and women with their heart.
One of my friends has cracked it and told me the following tale….
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’
I said, ‘WHAT??!! What was that?!’
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…
‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, ‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‘Let’s get a pair for each outfit.’
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, ‘That’s fine, honey.’ She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, ‘I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.’
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ‘No honey, I don’t feel like it.’
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, ‘WHAT?’
I then said, ‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.’
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, ‘Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?’
Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either… but at least she now knows I’m smarter than her.
you have been pardoned my son welcome back to the fold - 23 genuflections and take it like a man!
Great story Gummy old bean, true love is all about give and take, the more you give the more they take.
I got one of those curved screen monitors for my new mac mini, they really are a joy to use when you are so close to the screen, easy on the eyes too. This one is a Samsung 24” and cost me 170 euros, when my living room TV conks out I’m thinking curved screen for a new one, as George Raft used to say “What’s your angle Kid? you gotta have an angle” 
Can you imagine the job Moses had trying to flog the ten commandments to a hoard of drunken revellers dancing naked around a golden calf. Standing there on a sand dune knackered after forty days and nights without sleep and hoarse from shouting out a litany of “Thou shalt nots”:shock:
Did he converse to thou in verse?
Asked Joshua of Moses
Nay Josh old boy, he and I were alone and we conversed in stone, and we must obey his accord
And here I have the proof (he laid the ten commandments on the sand)
Take these tablets and swallow the word of the Lord
Too hard for me to swallow Moses old thing
So I’ll leave the stone alone and just have my fling.
I think I’m going bonkers too. I was doing some heavy thinking in the shed today, nearly blew a few circuits in my brain but I tried to keep rational about it all.
This is the question. What tells your brain what to do? Do you tell it or does it tell you? All the experts say that you are your brain and your brain is you, I disagree with that, as far as I can make out there is you, your brain and the rest of your body, but according to them the rest of your body has no say at all.
I’ll try to give you a true example. I’m sitting at my bench working away on an old gypsy set 18ct gold ring, the garnet stone was almost out of it as the claws were very badly worn, I had to put 6 new claws on it to secure it, it was of great sentimental value to the owner. Anyway to make a fat story thin I decided that while I was at it I would go the whole hog and put a new shank on it as well, I would be using up a lot more gold but the ring would be like new again with a good 50 years of daily wearing left in it, Whether the owner agreed to pay the extra or not I’d take the gamble, if he refused I would just forgo it. The job was finished and just as I was polishing it off the wife came out to tell me the owner was on the phone and wanted to talk to me, I went in and took the call, these were his actual words “Hello Jimmy, you know that ring your fixing for me, well I was just thinking that the shank was wearing pretty thin, could you strengthen it up for me while your at it?”
My point is that the thought came to me and I told the mind what to do, not the other way round, and the mind told the body what to do, all three were involved, plus a bit of divine intervention, as in where did the thought come from, I’m getting dizzy now, so to hell with the experts, I still say they know nothing about how the mind works.
Incidentally he was over the moon with the ring and not only did he pay the cost he threw in three bottles of Sandemans port too, but he was always a decent sort, cheers! hic hic hooray!
By the way Gummy, how’s your old shank holding out?
I think Gummy should spend a bit more time on Shanks’s Pony.
Women are - well tiring really. Exhausting maybe? Certainly sobering - in more ways than one. Takes a real man to put them in their place but to what avail? May as well cut one’s own leg off.
Anyway, a good story - Gumbud that is. Not sure what the moral was? I reckon she run off with a young lover well equipped with her new wardrobe.
Life isn’t as complicated as everyone makes out - including myself. Boils down to dealing with natural instincts. We were made to behave in a certain way but these days restraint takes precedence. Makes for boiling inner turmoil. Oh, for the old club in hand is all I say.
Drunk as a skunk …
See what I mean. I need a shed like Jem has. Don’t tell her I said this but I quite like her worried attention. She cares after all 
. Means a lot …
Jem mentions being 70+ has set him free - free from life’s worries that is. Not sure that will happen to me at that age. Odd I know but I think it will happen sooner. Spent the last 5 years thinking all sorts of rubbish to no avail. No conclusion has come my way. Nothing to ease life’s worries … but I feel deep down soon there will come a day of reckoning. A day when all the crap that holds me back at this moment in time will wash away. I know this will happen and so look forward to it’s embrace. A wise man accepts mortality clearing the messy decks. I await the enlightenment with relish. Just a matter of time is all. Another string to my already heavily laden full of wisdom bow.
When I was yung a shankin I would go
Shankin here and shankin there
The girls would say mi mi you do
A shankin until you are blue
But when I’d finished the shank each time
They’d say ‘why thank you sir you came just in time’
And I would bow my head so low
The shank would touch the ground below
But now as I reach old Jemmies age
And old RJ, Pug and spitties too
I think the shankes are worn down thin
Almost paper thin like tin?
So my advice to purveys of shanks
Clamp it hard within the clamp
Tickle it with jewelers brush
Until the shank gets really tough
Then place the jewel of the crown
Firmly on your shanks around
And then the ladies will shank you well
And say once more ‘you have done well’
Then climb upon your pony high
With shankes head held firmly pride
And as you ride and shank as well
They’ll say ‘he’s riding shankes pony with the bell’!
A veritable masterpiece .
Excellent
A lot of truth in the “day of enlightenment”.
I suspect mine will be akin to the blowing up of a balloon. lLetting it free and watching it career into space in mad circles
But, what a “Rasp” to go with, “he who has the last Rasp, Rasp’s the longest”.
That made me laugh out loud Spitty.
You are priceless
Rasputin’s the name
Power’s my game.
wots all this enlightenment stuff - rubbish been there and done that - yes you are enlightened to do what you wish but no one is around to do it with ya - they’re all out making a buck - so you walk around with a dull head thinkin great thoughts -enlightenment my arse!
if anyone here feels enlightened then tell it like it is day by day no wishful thinking e
enlightenment = disconnecting with the busy world that’s all and if you think that is fun try it!
