Give my regards to your moose friend Gummy. I do love tales of the wild.
I may have mentioned this before but no harm in mentioning it again as I am very proud of my great Uncle Dave.
Actually it was my great Uncle Dave who inspired an episode of Frank Bucks “Bring ‘em Back alive” series. Dave was in a very precarious situation in the Burma jungle, two man-eating tigers were about to prounce on him from behind a tree, he was standing alone with his rifle and only one bullet left, but his sharp quick thinking saved the day.
As the tigers made their play he swiped his knife from his belt and aimed it at the tree, quick as lightening he then shot his only bullet at the blade of the knife splitting the bullet in two and killing both tigers at the same time. Dave was never given credit for this achievement, that low down swine Frank buck didn’t even mention Dave in the credits.
Buck had painted himself into a corner, when he was interviewed on TV many years later he had a tough job explaining why, if he was a man of his word, he didn’t bring the two tigers back alive, serves him right.;-)
Sorry to change the mood,but I would like to warn any and all of you. On ebay,lurks a piece of shit calling himself 1959mq. DO NOT,ever,ever,get into a transaction with this lowlife scumbag piece of cocksucking shit.
A transaction was made,between this craphat and a terminally ill friend of mine. My friend wants to accrue enough to ensure no relatives worry regarding his funeral. THIS piece of shit first bleated that the item was ‘at least two years old and shows wear’ [it’s brand new engineering equipment-my friend is too weak to use it,so it remained sealed] then insisted on a refund [ok…my mate refunded him,asked him to return it ‘tracked’] Loud silence was the reply. He’s now been trying for several days to get some response…so today I drove to 1959mq’s house…he SHIT himself,tried to call the police,etc etc. Ebay wriggled out of any responsibility,saying that BECAUSE a full refund has been issued,the con-artist ‘buyer’ is allowed to keep the item!!!
Ok-sorry to bring the mood down…I am F~CKING angry and still feeling violent. Oh-and no,the phone wasn’t returned…he claimed he’d posted it but had no receipt…so his FKN nose got broken. Yes,I said I broke his nose…and I did it in FRONT of his neighbours…my mate remains terminally ill,we didn’t get the phone back,we spent a tenner on fuel,yes in many ways it was a wasted journey…BUT…my buddy was laughing his socks off on the way home and as I left his home,was still chuckling. SO-1959mq…AVOID the lying scum-sucking bastard.
#Jolly good…as you were,chaps. [& chappettes,natch]#
Some people just don’t care who they rip off, I never use ebay Pug. Sorry to hear about your sick pal.
Meanwhile back on the wildlife theme.
Monkeys can be very unpredictable creatures, a bit like some humans I suppose. I don’t live very far from Dublin Zoo, a lovely place to visit, not too big and not too small with beautiful gardens and trees all about the place. as children we would be regular visitors especially during the summer school holidays, we would bunk in over the fence at the Wellington Monument side in the Phoenix Park. I remember one day being in the Monkey’s enclosure and one little fella keep stating at me, then he shit in his hand and flung the gung at me! The little hairy swine! he then ran around the cage laughing, well it sounded like laughing to me, I was left speechless, an attendant took me into the office and I cleaned up and was given ten bob to have me Monkey jacket cleaned, the jacket was only fit for the bin anyway, when I got home me mother threw the jacket out and gave me half a crown out of the ten bob, all’s well that ends well.
One poor girl who lived on our street, Irene something or other, she was stupid enough to stick her index finger into the Monkey cage, he bit off two joints of it. Her family must have been fixed up pretty good because a year after that they all moved to a posh neighbourhood, all on the Monkey money.
“The Zoological Gardens”
Traditional Irish song
Thunder and lightning is no lark
When Dublin City is in the dark
So if you’ve any money, go up to the park
And view the Zoological Gardens
We went out there to see the zoo
We saw the lion and the kangaroo
There was he-males and she-males of every hue
Up in the Zoological Gardens
We went out there by Castleknock
Says she to me “Sure, we’ll court on the Lough”
Then I knew she was one of the rare old stock
From outside the Zoological Gardens
We went up there on our honeymoon
Says she to me “If you don’t come soon
I’ll have to get in with the hairy baboon”
Up in the Zoological Gardens
Says she to me “It’s seven o’clock
And time for me to be changin’ me frock
For I long to see the old cockatoo”
Up in the Zoological Gardens
Says she to me “Me lovely Jack
Sure I’d love a ride on the elephant’s back
If you don’t get out of that I’ll give you such a crack”
Up in the Zoological Gardens
Oh, thunder and lightning is no lark
When Dublin City is in the dark
So if you’ve any money go up to the park
And view the Zoological Garden. (sung by the Dubliners)
A lot of bonding going on here. Nice to see .
Haven’t seen the widespread use of any form of Adhesive on this Thread, just moderate Cyanoism.
Bond< James Bond? how flattering. I’m shaken, but not stirred.
A sort of bonding Mark, but they can run run amok with themselves if you don’t keep your eye on them.;-)
We just talk about anything and everything here and one thing leads to another, nothing serious, we don’t do politics so there are very few arguments. Everyone is welcome to toss in their tuppence worth anytime. I hope you can give us some more of your very creative and enjoyable poems, if you get the time that is, I know you are always busy with your sites.
Whatever happened to prominent teeth? or buck teeth as we crudely used to call them. When I was a kid there were always a few other kids with buck teeth in school, quite a few adults had them too, you know the kind I mean, Ken Dodd type. There was a girl who had prominent teeth on our street, the kids were very cruel to her and used to say things like, “You can take your teeth in Nora, they must be well dry by now” kids can be so cruel without realising it.
You don’t see many with cauliflower ears either. I read somewhere that Clark Gable had to have his cellotaped back in most of his early films, then he had surgery to fix them, they put some type of springy plastic at the back of the ear under the flesh and it hauls them back in, does a great job for life, it would have to, could you imagine having dinner in a posh hotel and the spring suddenly went snap catapulting balls of ear wax at all the other diners.
It’s a wonder your own Prince Charlie didn’t get it done with all the brass he’s got.
I know they can fix turned eyes now (I’m afraid I don’t know the correct name for that complaint) as a friend of my daughters had it done when she was a teenager, made a fantastic difference.
Maybe that American thing of wearing braces on the teeth finally caught on over here. isn’t it a great thing that they can fix these things now, me heart bled for the poor kids, they used to get a terrible slagging at school, not good for confidence in later life.
God rest my dear mother, when our father was in hospital long term she used to cut our hair, four boys all going to school with ‘Bowl’ haircuts, we were like the Beatles ten years before they appeared on the scene, unfortunately our school mates didn’t appreciate my mothers foresight and slagged the hell out of us, still it didn’t do us any harm and we learned to take it as well as give it out.
hang about hang about I thought there was an embargo on poems now - in 'it ?
well ever since RJ couldn’t get his superlatives to match his laxatives - and anyway I’ve just got used to spelling RJ and now we have to learn MCJee - no way mon no way!
I haven’t waxed lyrical for many a day. I tend to do such when under the influence but I’m trying to cut down - though I could always fall off the wagen again I suppose 
. Fell off it the other night come to think of it but my mind was on something else entirely and as usual it landed me in hot water once again. Such is life …
double booked or parked whatever!
MKJ is an old member who was on a break Gummy, ’twas himself, yourself, and RJ that got me into sausage factory production poems in the first place, ye have created a monster, been churning ‘em out ever since. My sausage factory never closes.
The wife is all excited lately, there is a new building going up just around the corner and it’s going to be another Lidi shop, she loves Lidi shops and this one is opening in July, it’ll be literally right up her street.
Hey diddle diddle
The wife shops at Lidi
She trots off each morning you see
With trolly at front, on a bargain hunt
And we all have fine goodies for tea.
Around these parts everyone calls the Lidi shops ‘Liddle” but on the TV ads they pronounce it Lie-del, what do you call them? I presume they are international.
I get all my stuff from china now on the internet, Aliexpress is free postage and anything under 22 euros is tax free, the tiny saw blades and the polishing mops I use are about 75% less than I’d pay for them in town here. The poor postman is run off his feet. The family call me the Chinese ambassador now.
Superlatives ? laxatives? you have a way with words Gummy.
MKJ is an old friend who is welcome here & far more forthcoming about the times we live in than I ever could be.
Lie del, surely it is pronounced LEE DIL.
Sausage factory, not as easy to find words that rhyme EXACTLY, other than HOSTAGE , not very promising.
Nearly rhyming words include BOSSAGE which I believe is something uncouth and related to the pastime of dirty old men ,and known as bustle punching. Or do I mean frottage.
Another nearly rhyming word is among a group of innocent sounding words ripe for misinterpretation
viz
Blockage, Bondage, Cottage, Passage, Stoppage.
The mind boggles, but doesnt rhyme
A nice clean living old fellow like me wouldn’t know anything about Bossage or the likes, I stick to me old pint and keep out of the way of all that carry on, as the wife always said “At least when he’s in the pub I know where he is”;-)
There used to be an old lad in our neighbourhood and he used to make nativity cribs from the bark of old trees, he used to do well with them coming up to Christmas, but nobody buys anything religious anymore so the backside fell out of that game, he would cast the figures in white plaster stuff and paint them when they dried hard. We used to collect moss from the nearby river for him, he would fix it on the walls and roof of the crib then spray it with something to preserve it. What I’m getting at here is one old lady bought a completed crib from him and came back to complain that there wasn’t enough “Mossage” on it.
She told him to be careful in future and that “If he continued skimping on the mossage he could end up without a sausage”
Well at least I tried.
There are many ‘Links’ to Sassage, if one were of a mind.
i’ve been to a sausage fair and seen many a sassage flair but I am not sure where this string is leading to?
now black puddings are another thing altogether an absolute delicacy and I would never like to see them sassaged away!
anyway staying with my lad and his fam for easter so was able to throw away my own laxatives as his wifs firery thai dishes keep me on my toes and my bum quite a lot.
There was an old fellow called Mark
Who’d perfected the great website fart
When he sneezed we said “please’
As we were brought to our knees
And begged him to move to the park!
I did consider a few poetic lines last night but I’m well out of practice. Alcohol definitely seems to unlock something or other allowing the almighty rhyming couplets to flow. It appears world-wide news is dominating my thoughts instead these days - plus a few other worries of my own - and these are watering down my creative juices.
‘We learn as we age’, as the saying goes. Wisdom can be somewhat stifling. I’m now wise but extremely boring. Then again I’m sure there is still a fire down below. Just got to find a reason to unplug the volcano 
.
On a side note I won’t be creating any more forums though it was one hell of a bonkers ride 
.
Very true Mark, we do learn as we age, when you reach 70 you become more carefree than ever, I never felt better in me life and nothing seems to bother me anymore.
Thinking back to the 1960’s when the good times rolled, everybody was working with good conditions and having a good time, especially if you were young. We danced, laughed, sang, and had a few jars at the weekend then slowly one by one all the mates paired off with some girl, the gang began to get smaller and smaller as each lad in turn was asked that grinding question by the female of the pair “Make up your mind, it’s either me or the drink” These words once spoken are the ultimate test for the male and his answer will decide if he is a man or a mouse, before you answer it always think first about fish in the sea.;-)
Thank God it was never asked of me, for she knew me all her life and that I liked me weekend pint, and why wouldn’t I after a hard weeks work? I’m not talking alcoholics here, that’s different, that’s a sickness, I admit that if I was a slosh head and lazy she had a right to ask it, but not of a hard working good natured chap such as meself. She herself liked a few glasses of Guinness and many’s the singsong we enjoyed together on Saturday nights, still do now and again.
I knew many mild drinkers who fell in line and became tee-totalers, bossed and henpecked for the rest of their lives, miserable wretches, broken men, sad and sorry sights, I remember calling to an old mates house one Sunday morning to ask him out for a pint and he answered the door in an apron!, shock and horror, he had a plate in his hand that he was drying! ‘nuff said and I walked away, if his dad (Mad Mick Merrigan) could see him now I thought, he would hang his head in shame.
So if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, get a girl who likes a drink to be your wife.
Rhyming couplets?
These are supposed to rhyme and have RHYTHM throughout
just saying
I’m not saying anything.