Leisurely Scribbles (Part 2)

Jem · 11 September 2021 19:46

Thanks for that useful info Fruity, I can always depend on you to put me on the right track.
I learned a lot from “Pug” who used to post here, he was a very knowledgable fella too, I often wonder will he ever come back here.

Great idea about going back to the metal safety razor, that shouldn’t be too difficult if the shaving population put their minds too it and demanded an end to the all plastic disposables.

My Maternal Grandfather was in the Dublin Fusiliers, gassed in the first world war and sent home where he died in the military hospital here a few years later.
Obviously I never knew him, but I believe he was a decent fella, a good skin, he was a steeplejack before he and his brother signed up.

My mother often sang this comic song at parties, weddings or some such occasion. I don’t know who it’s credited to but Jimmy O’Dea had it recorded many years ago.

Dublin Fusiliers

Well you’ve heard about the Indians with their tommyhawks and spears
And of the U.N. warriors the heroes of recent years
Also I might mention the British Grenadiers
Well none of them were in it but the Dublin Fusiliers.
You’ve heard about the Light Brigade and of the deeds they’ve done,
And of the other regiments that many vic’tries won
But the pride of all the armies Dragoons and Carabiniers
Was that noble band of Warriors the Dublin Fusiliers.

CHORUS
With your left foot and right about face this is the way we go
Charging with fixed bayonets the terror of every foe.
A glory to old Ireland as proud as buccaneers
And a terror to creation are the Dublin Fusiliers.

Well you’ve heard about the wars between the Russians and the Brits.
The sar’ one day was reading an old copy of ““Titbits””
And when the General came to him and threw himself down in tears
‘We’d better run back like blazes, here’s the Dublin Fusiliers.’

The sar’ commenced to tremble and he bit his underlip…
Begorra boys, says he, I think we better take the tip
The devil’s come from Dublin and to judge from what I hears
They’re demons of militia men, the Dublin Fusiliers.

Well the sergeant cried, 'Get ready lads, lay down each sword and gun,
Take off you shoes and stockings boys, and when I tell youse, run.
They didn’t stop but started and amidst three ringing cheers,
Came a shower of bricks and bullets from the Dublin Fusiliers.

The time that Julius Caesar tried to land down at Ringsend
The coastguards couldn’t stop them, so for the Dublins they did send,
And, just as they were landing, lads, we heard three ringing cheers:
'Get back to Rome like blazes here’s the Dublin Fusiliers.

Fruitcake · 11 September 2021 20:25

I love trivia. The more useless the information, the more I like it.

Whilst working in the USA, my mate Geoff told the hotel staff where we were staying, “Don’t get him going on trivia else he’ll talk it 'til your ears bleed and your brains dribble out your nose.”
Compliments indeed.

My dad never saw action. He was actually a pacifist, a Quaker, and a conscientious objector during WW2 until he took R Mar to the Flicks when they were courting, and saw newsreel footage of the concentration camps, (which to my shame were a British invention). He lost his faith completely and decided that in some certain circumstances it was right to take a life, and joined the British Army as a result.

I had relatives who fought in WW1. It will not be a surprise to you to know that not all of them came back.

spitfire · 11 September 2021 20:39

My Scribbling is done, for the moment, the information is not coherent enough to make a theme.

DianneWoollie · 12 September 2021 10:30

Call me slow…just seen your Post…thanks Jem for all that…poetry in motion…
sadly 3 babes out if 6 now…a bird of prey took them…
chickens normally stick to there home and we have seen a few on the Lanes but they scamper back when needs.
must.
We had asked for two of the baby hens,but now we are holding back to let ‘Antoinne’ appoach us…
Hens are not a lot of trouble if you dont mind your garden re arranged…
Lunchtime…boy I love food these days…

DianneWoollie · 12 September 2021 11:31

One of the Husbands Relatives in New Zealand served in e WW1 war and the WW2 war…
I have a copy of his details from a living family member in New Zealand. He was Arthur Frederick Aumonier Woollams in the NZEF unit Machine Gun Unit and honoured with Victory and says British War Medals 1914-1918 and 1939-1945 where he would have been 50 years as born in 1889. The copy I have says from the forustheyfell.org.nw but I could not find anything about him on there for some reason. Memorial says Te Kuiti…so I have plenty of good information. The Aumoniers were from two Areas of France close to our house and also the far east of France there is still a huge family of them although a lot escaped to The British Isles as persecuted by Catholics thanks to the wicked… Louis IVX…
Obviously not just directed all my chatter to you Fruitcake, so need to particulary respond … can be for anybody that reads it…

Jem · 12 September 2021 15:38

So you’re hanging up your scribbling nib for a while Spitty, fair play to you, we all need a break every now and again.

We’re all being bombarded with incoherent information by the media every day, very hard to unravel to make any truth of it, anyway the truth is dead, I don’t even try to figure it out anymore, so I’ll just carry on regardless and stick mostly to the trivia and nonsense stuff, at least I know nobody is expected to understand that.

A big migration has taken place
Folks are shifting to and fro
Trying to decide on a permanent base
When they do I’ll let you know.

There’s a lot going on behind the green door at the moment that cannot be talked about, hushhhhh.

Jem · 13 September 2021 21:08

Some folks are scared of growing old but to be honest it never bothered me, actually in my early 60’s I was looking forward to retiring and having all my time to meself to do what I wanted to do.

One scene sticks out in me mind whenever I think of ageing, I was in a pub in town after finishing working late, I would have been about 50 at the time.

There were only a few people in the place, two old lads were standing at the bar, they looked to me to be in their 80’s but one was older than the other, the older one had a smile and the other looked a cranky old shit with a sour face on him, he had one of those steel tubing Zimmer frames that he leaned on.
I was minding me own interference reading the evening paper and supping me pint, then the two old lads voices began to rise and this is what I heard:

Older old man:
“Ah for jaysus sake Peter I’m only pulling yer leg, she’s a lovely woman, cheer up, give us a smile or are ya afraid yer wrinkles will widen” (I hadn’t a clue who the woman he was referring to was or what he said about her)

Younger old man:
Wrinkles?, your a fine one to talk about wrinkles, you with a face on ya like a plate of tripe, and that stupid grin on yer fat face makes you look like a constipated clown, besides you’re 8 years older than me old man”

Older man:
“That’s true Peter me lad”
Then he points to the Zimmer frame
“But at least I don’t need scaffolding to prop me up”.

Here you have two old drinking buddies slagging off each other over age and looks, very funny to witness, they went on and on for the rest of the evening, I picked up quite a few friendly slagging tips listening to the pair of them, finally they went out the door together singing at closing time.

That did it for me, I swore to myself then and there that if I’m lucky enough to reach that old fellas age I will never lose me sense of humour.
Well I’m fast approaching that age now and I still have a sense of humour and I can take the best slagging anyone can throw at me… providing it’s a friend doing the slagging.

As Fagin said to his boys when giving them a lesson about providing for their old age.

“Late in life wrinkles will surely appear, that we all know.,
And in the bank only your memories will grow
So don’t let it bother you when you take from the privileged few
‘Cos you gotta get a wrinkle or two
Yes, you gotta get a wrinkle or two.

11642169

Jem · 14 September 2021 20:27

Why is everything getting “Rolled out” these days?

Boris Johnson is going to roll out his plan for winter covid 19 today, the Irish leader is also hoping to roll out his plans next week. We’re also to have a new winter fuel scheme rolled out next month.

We used to say laying out plans or even spelling them out, but now we’re all rolling out everything. I wonder when it will creep into the workplace?

Foreman: ‘Boss, Maguire was late again this morning, will I sack him?”
Boss: “Yes, roll him out immediately”

Another plan to recruit heavy vehicle drivers is to be rolled out soon, I can understand trucks rolling out, but you can’t rollout a vaccine, you can pour it out but it just don’t roll on it’s own.

Maybe if it came by the barrel full then you could roll out the barrel and have a barrel of fun doing it.

If you had a truck full of dogs they too could be rolled out, because I heard a line in one of Frankie Laine’s songs “Keep them dogies rolling rawhide”, then I found out that the dogies he is referring to are in fact motherless calves, but still rollable as a herd I’d imagine.
You can also roll out covered wagons, a troop of US cavalry, and smokes.

I’ve heard the words “Rolled out” so many times lately that I couldn’t get it out of me mind, and when a neighbour of mine told me today that her brother had just died, I absentmindedly asked her “When is he getting rolled out?” meaning of course when is he getting buried.

Ah! I’m beginning to see the light, plans get rolled out because of tradition, as were the ancient scrolls that were rolled out by the Roman and Greek generals on large flat rocks to outlay their battle plans, then the troops would all dance with joy, thats probably how “Rock” and “Roll” began eh?, bet ya never thought of that!

Fruitcake · 14 September 2021 23:20

My Cousins are ganging up on me!

I have just replaced the carpet on the landing with laminate flooring to make it easier to manoeuvre my Uncle/FiL in a powered wheelchair on days when he is not able to move himself around.

Once upon a time when I was fit and young this would have been a day’s work. Instead, Arthur has been playing me up, and with my Dicky Ticker, it has taken me four days.
Saturday, empty display cabinet and move around as required, rip up carpet, underlay, carpet grips, remove staples, and sweep clean.
Sunday, lay underlay, cut, shape, and fit laminate from Outlaws’ bedroom door to bathroom.
Monday, lay underlay, cut, shape, and fit laminate from Outlaw’s bedroom door to lounge door.
Tuesday, lay underlay, cut, shape, and fit laminate from lounge doorway to kitchen doorway. Clean up, remove tools, obtain sign off from the Chancellor of the Handbag.

My Cousin/SiL 'phoned her sis/my Lovely Cousin for a chat this eve and my endeavours were mentioned.
Whilst on speakerphone I got it in stereo by both girls that I was overdoing it, and that I was not allowed to take the spoil to the tip until next week, and must rest and refrain from doing DIY until given permission to do so.

When I was a-courting the younger girl, my Aunt offered me a job lot and wanted me to take the older girl off her hands as well. To this day I am still not quite sure whether she was serious.

When the older girl 'phoned this eve, it was as if my Aunt’s wishes had come true. It was like having two wives, both of whom were taking it in turns to order me about!
sigh
It looks like I will be having a few days of enforced rest.

spitfire · 15 September 2021 05:32

Ignore them Fruity, push on, its better to die on the Job.

Fruitcake · 15 September 2021 09:49

I have seen what happens when a man tries to defy the highest authority in the land. It is not pretty.

spitfire · 15 September 2021 11:18

Fruity, you are a clever chap, so, perhaps you can help me get my head round summat. The popular consensus is that Human Beings have been present on this Planet, in this form for 200-300 thousand years, if we have been here that long, how come it only took 104 years to get from Telegram to Hologram?

Jem · 15 September 2021 20:34

Ah yes Fruity, they obviously love you dearly, I know exactly how you feel, ‘Blessed art thou amongst women” as the Hail Mary prayer goes.

My wife has seven sisters, six surviving and they are all widows, they all bring their problems to me God help them, many’s the night I’ve spent in the local with herself and the now single six listening to their sorrows and joys, their hopes and dreams, and the usual health related upsets.
Lately however there are usually only two or three sisters with us when we go for a drink.

I listen with patiences and compassion, boredom and anguish, but always with a smile on me face, never let it be seen that the last of the brothers in law is cracking under pressure, and believe me listening to seven sisters for several hours is pressure indeed, dear Lord, if ever a man suffered.

But I offer it all up to the almighty for all my past sins, besides I love everyone of them and they me, after all I’m only the baby, I’m 75 and I’m the youngest of the lot of them including the wife.

One of the sisters, Eileen, has a son who did very well for himself in the meat trade, it’s his 60th birthday in a few weeks time and her ‘problem’ was getting him a present.

“What do you get the man who has everything Jem?” She asked me last weekend.

“A very good Doctor?” Said I innocently.

I have been known to give them some invaluable information over the years, like the time nervous Nora got her first set of false teeth, she was very self conscience about wearing them in the local and she keep explaining to us that her new dentures felt a bit stiff in her mouth and were hindering her speech.
“Nora my dear, a word of advice” says I “Never refer to them as dentures of false teeth, far too clinical and fake, just call them substitooths”

spitfire · 15 September 2021 21:07

spitfire · 16 September 2021 10:59

Guys, do you remember the scratch built ship I became custodian of when the FIL passed on at the end of last year, well, this morning I finally got round to locating it in pride of place on the Office wall. Gonna make a new desk for the Office this weekend, and stick a large tele in there.

Jem · 16 September 2021 18:44

I do indeed remember it Spitty, I think I passed a remark on the excellent workmanship at the time.

I’m pleased you decided to place it in the new office, (another great work that office of yours), they will compliment each other.

When’s the official opening by the way?, don’t forget to smash a bottle of Guinness off the side of it for good luck, an old Irish tradition when opening new out buildings on your property, keeps evil spirits like the Banshee and mischievous goblins at bay.

Browned off.

Nothing to say today
The dog won’t bark and the wife’s gone away
The plumber is in the kitchen fixing some pipes
And the floor tiles are wet, needing regular wipes

Nothing to watch either
All politics on the telly and more trouble for our leader
Rows and ructions did arise
All quite usual and no surprise.

Nothing to complain about now
Never felt better but I don’t know how
I do all the wrong things that I know I shouldn’t
I asked the doctor to explain it but he said he couldn’t.

Don’t think he’ll be seeing me anymore
Cos I yelled out “Quack” as I walked out the door.

I see old Christy Moore is doing concerts again, he’s 76 now, fair play to him, this is one of my favourite songs about life and reflecting on long lasting relationships.

spitfire · 17 September 2021 21:18

Back on the case Jembo. I reckon two weeks, color change and final snagging.

Fruitcake · 18 September 2021 17:57

Oh yes, looking after the ladies in your life is a sacred duty, to be taken seriously and dedication, no matter what inner torment it may bring.
Good on you fella for looking after yours so well.

Mr Fire, I do indeed remember your splendid ship. It is well deserved of a splendid location, and a prominent place in your orifice will do it proud.

Jem · 18 September 2021 21:00

Thanks Fruity, they are all great old girls really, the salt of the earth.

Good to hear that Spitty, one has to keep busy or one will go nuts.

Oh lads I forgot to mention something interesting about the singer Rosemary Clooney who was singing ‘Sisters’ in the clip a few posts above.

“She was of Irish descent and was a very clever lady besides having a great voice.
I’m told (by a fella from Kildare actually) that she used to compile crosswords under the pen name “Cluesmary Rooney”, and up to her dying day nobody suspected a connection with the singer. (source: Wacky Media).

I’m back in the workshop again doing a few items for the family before me eyesight gets too bad, mostly Celtic heritage gold and silver stuff they can pass down through the generations, I stamp all my work with my makers mark initials for hallmarking.

I’m presently working on a Celtic/Viking pendant for me eldest grandson, he’s into Celtic stuff which is very popular with young folks here these days.

I’ve already completed a 9ct. gold signet ring for me son featuring a semi precious sapphire, his birthstone, I forgot to take a photo of it finished, he’s wearing it now and he’s in Rome on holidays with this wife and son, plus the daughter is crying out for a “Children of Lir” brooch with the four swans in full flight. The wife has her list too.
These will most likely be the last items I’ll ever make.

So I’ll be kept busy until the Winter sets in then it’s to cold for me to do any work, no matter how I heat the workshop me hands get too cold to use the tools properly, this never bothered me when I was 10 years younger, but all good things have to come to an end.

As you can see in the photos I have to use high magnification at the work area, I copy the photos from a file of stuff I’ve done before and then put the pictures into another file on an old computer, the monitor is set above the bench so that whatever I’m working on is in front of me as I make it, and I can enlarge the image if I wish, I find this handier than handling a sketch and it makes good use of an old mac mini computer.