Leisurely Scribbles (Part 2)

[Jem]

I wonder what happened to Gumbud? I thought he was back?, was it something I said Gummy old chap?

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What’s in a name?

Depends on how it sounds to you personally I suppose.

Most of us have lived through some sort of world political crisis in our time.
Since I was a boy the names of some political leaders and organisations always amused me.

My first awaking to these strange names coming from the radio and later the TV, happened at the time of the Suez canal trouble back in 1956 I think it was, I would have been 11 then, there was Sir Anthony Eden and a fella called Nasser having a row about an important strip of water.

“Nasser” rang a bell with me because there used to be an old bearded tramp who hung around the Vestry door of the church when I was an altar boy, he’d be waiting for a certain priest who provided him with a couple of coppers and a small food parcel.
Whenever I passed him I would greet him and ask him how he was, the answer was always the same “Nasser (not a) bother on me sonny”

Frankie Vaughan had a song in the top ten called “The Garden of Eden”, typically frowned on by the clergy here who banned it, that ensured it to be a number one hit, just pop across the border for your copy, same shop where the adults got their banned Johnnies.

If you accidentally got a goal in football or potted a tough shot in snooker then you were the beneficiary of a “King Farouk”… a fluke.

Many years later we had trouble in the middle east, yerman Yasser Marrowfat was in the news, we always had Batchelors marrowfat peas with our Sunday dinner, so that name wasn’t strange to me.

Followed by the Falklands war and the top Argentinian chap Costa Méndez, that was an easy name to remember as folks used to call to me with jewellery repairs and say “How much it cost ta mend this?”

Then there was another South African political chap who I always thought would be the ideal choice as a minister of employment, Boot the lazy, (Buthelezi) remember him?

Now we have Hamas, well as every catholic knows when we die we all have a mass said for us.
Although me old cranky granddad didn’t want one said for himself, when he was sick the granny said the priest asked her would he offer a mass up for him, granddad said “Tell him he needn’t bother his bolla”
That was the first I ever heard of the hezbollah crowd.

Didn’t like the clergy my grandad, didn’t like anybody if you ask me, a cranky old git he was right up to the end.

And now the Taliban are at it again, that name is not new to me either, I remember Harry Belafonte singing about them back in the 50’s, a line in the banana boat song goes “Come mister Taliban tally me banana”

Check it out for yerself below.

Harry Belafonte - "Banana Boat Song (Day O)" - 1956 - YouTube

[spitfire]

Does one fear the Taliban or a Tellyban more, don’t want tp pre-empt an answer, someone will get offended or upended.

[Jem]

I meant to post this last week but it got mixed up somewhere, I thought I posted it but I couldn’t find it so I apologise if it’s a repeat.

My dog Rocky 2 is a great little dog and we all love him, but to be blunt and honest he’s an idiot.

He could never grasp the simple trick of ‘giving you the paw’ for example, and believe me I tried to teach him till I was blue in the face. He’s just not interested in doggy tricks. He’s about ten years old now but none the wiser. He knows no tricks whatsoever, he’s just a happy dunce of an old dog, an idiot and proud of it.

He jumps up on the sofa when another dog is passing by and then starts to bark, how he knows there’s a dog out there is beyond me, he cannot see out and he certainly can’t smell it.

He did it again today and I shouted at him to shurrup but he paid no attention to me and kept on barking, then the wife told him to shurrup and he did, she then turns to me and says:

“You don’t be telling him to shurrup, he only shuts up for me, your confusing him!”

“How can you confuse an idiot?” says I, “Confusion is a build in app with idiot dogs, and his app is right up to date, in fact it never went out of date, he’s in the same state of confusion as the day you first got him”

Then I went out to the hall to get me jacket and pop up for a quiet pint, I sensed a barney coming on so I got out while the going was good.

I mean any dog who thinks he can fly has got to be an idiot. (see flying dog post last month with picture)

Still I wouldn’t trade him for the World.

the bachelors i wouldn't trade you for the world

[spitfire]

Looking for our Birth Certificates today I came across a reference I asked a guy I used to drink with (FILs pal), took a minute or two for it to sink in as a spoof.

He was a smashing chap, we were politically polar opposites, but that made interesting conversation across the social club table. He was quite clever, right at the start he was a service engineer on Cash Points, and barcode readers.

Was reading the Birmingham Evening Mail late 90s and learned, he, his wife and two friends were killed in a car accident in Spain on holiday, John had no children so, the story book closed there.

[Jem]

I love his wit Spitty.
What a terrible tragedy though, pity, the world could do with more witty fellas like him (and you) right now when international moral is at an all time low.

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Lady Jockeys.

I don’t like talking horsey talk as it’s very boring to a lot of people, even me, as soon as the race is over that’s it for me, can’t stand all the experts telling me why this and that horse didn’t win, beats me why these so called experts have to work at all, if they are so good at picking the winners why aren’t they all millionaires by now?
Same applies to financial experts, the very fact that they have to work for a living is proof their systems don’t work, but I’m rambling again.

Anyway, I’m happy to see so many successful female jockeys doing well over the past few years, the likes of Hollie Doyle on the flat and Rachael Blackmore over the jumps, both very talented riders, and so many many more good young girls on the way up.

I remember when they were not allowed compete with the men, and the few girls who pioneered ladies in racing had to take a lot of stick from male jockeys and even some commentators, male punters, and indeed female punters, would not back a horse with a woman on board, but they ploughed on and thankfully today that courage and persistence has paid off.

I had an excellent first half of the year by backing lady jockeys.
So I just thought as a racing fan I’d say thank you and well done ladies, you keep riding the winners and I’ll keep backing them.

There was a stud farm here back in the 80’s, the owners had to change the original name of it because it was thought it might offend people passing by on the dual carriageway, it was called “Horses for Intercourses”, I don’t see why, the owners were only stating the facts.

This’ll bring all you old timers back a few decades.
Yeee Haaa! Get ‘em up Scout!

A Four Legged Friend - Roy Rogers

[PixieKnuckles]

I wanted to be a female jockey when I was younger. I worked at a livery stables outside Aberdeen, and stayed on site in a tiny caravan in the middle of winter. I was a teenager and so naive. I honestly thought I would make it, even though I screamed like mad when the horses went full gallop over hill and dale. Got thrown off more than once…great memories, but sadly not to be.

[Fruitcake]

Well Jem, you missed a name in your post of names.

The Zimbabwe gentleman, the Rev Sithole. There is not much you can say about a name like that.

Despite my name meaning, lover of horses (but not in the biblical sense) I have never had much interest in horsey things, although I have been known to enjoy a horse-drawn barge trip on a canal. I do remember passing a horse stud on several occasions when I was at college in Wiltshire. It was called something like, Tomatin Pony Stud. I read that as, Two Mating Ponies Stud. How naughty.

[Jem]

I’m sure you would have made a fine lady jockey Pixie, but it was not for you, who knows at that age what lies ahead for us all, as much as I love the fine graceful animals I have never sat on one in me life.

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How did I forget the very Reverend Sithole Fruity, and it being Donald Trump’s favourite expression for small countries he doesn’t like.

Believe it or not but the Rev Canaan Banana slid through my mind, Banana was prone to splitting headaches and would often slip up when making speeches. (I think his nickname was “Splitty” as in “Banana Splitty”)

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The wife’s tomatoes are coming on grand this year, she’s new at this sort of thing, today she comes into the house and asks me a gardening question, she may as well be talking to the wall as I know nothing about growing.
“Jem” says she “How do you make tomatoes go red?”
“I’m not sure my dear, try embarrassing them”
I must show you a picture of them tomorrow, they’re huge but green as grass.

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While looking up auctioneers fees I came across an interesting bit of information for artists yesterday, just thought it might interest some of our talented artists here, although they probably know about this already, still there’s no harm in passing it on.

Seems that if you paint and sell an original art work and it’s resold you are entitled to a percentage of the resale profits, I never knew that.

Artist’s Resale Rights (Droit de Suite)
40. Government Regulations (S.1. 312/2006)
Under this legislation a royalty (droit de suite) is payable to living or deceased (up to 70 years from date of death) artists of E.U. Nationality on all works resold for €3,000 or more, other than those sold by the artist or the artist’s agent.

The resale royalty payable is calculated as follows:
From €3,000 to €50,000 4%
From €50,000.01 to €200,000 3%
From €200,000.01 to €350,000 1%
From €350,000.01 to €500,000 0.5%
Exceeding €500,000 0.25%

The total amount of royalty payable on any individual sale shall not exceed €12,500.
The seller is liable for payment (paragraph 7.1 of Government Regulations (S.1. 312/2006)) of this
royalty on completion of the sale. The artist may request from the Auctioneer any information
necessary to secure payment.
Unless otherwise directed by the vendor, the Auctioneer will automatically deduct the amount due
from the proceeds of sale and will hold in trust for the artist or their representative the said sum.

MATT MONRO,portrait of my love

[Jem]

What’s eating you?

Here’s what was running through my mind in bed last night.

It’s not only a dog eat dog world, it’s an everything eats everything world.

All the little germs one can see through a microscope are fascinating, no one can stop these little buggers getting into your body no matter how clean you keep yourself and take all the precautions, yet we couldn’t survive without the pre installed types.

I console meself by thinking that the good little critters already inside me are waiting to devour the bad ones, you know, the triumph of good over evil.

I don’t usually watch these types of TV programs (about bodies, bacteria, and whats inside of you) but the wife was interested in the one that was showing so I sort of half watched it.

Howard Hughes was well informed on this type of thing and we all know how he ended up, he had access to the finest microscopes and labs in the world during his time, germophobia killed him in the end, whereas I believe in what the eye doesn’t see an all that.

It’s hard to avoid pictures of the coronavirus, the little round bugger with scores of suction cups sticking out to it, it’s used as a sort of slogan on TV and in the papers every day for nearly two years now.

Everything is eating something else, good germs eating bad germs and vice versa, wild animals eating other wild animals, then humans eating dead animals, maggots eating dead humans, it just never stops!

It begs the big question “What’s it all about?”, nothing but creatures and plants eating one another in order to survive, surely in the great plan there has to be a better way to exist?

Maybe the best thing to come back as is a rock, rocks don’t eat other rocks to exist, they do nothing just sit were they happen to be, no pain, no worries, no nothing, they are just there, and if you were a diamond then you would be the King of all rocks and last forever.
There’s a poem in there Gumbud, you could call it “Oh to be a Rock”

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One of the eight tomato plants the wife is currently nursing, big ain’t they?

[spitfire]

Been done before but Hey Ho.

Simon & Garfunkel - I Am A Rock

[spitfire]

Sorry Gumbud.

[Jem]

Three years ago I bought two rechargeable mice for my desktop computer from China, they cost me €5 each post free, they are one of the best investments I ever made bargain wise.

They go for about a month before recharging, and when I think of the €60 I once paid for an all singing and dancing apple ‘magic mouse’ I cringe, I was out the door buying batteries every two weeks, apple must have been in cahoots with the battery makers, funny thing is the magic mouse was made in China too.

It always makes me laugh when I hear the old lads in the pub slagging off all the ‘junk’ products from China, they are too daft to understand that all the stuff in the high street is made in China, it’s just that when the importing middlemen add their enormous profit percentage and inflate the cost it seems more acceptable to them, there’s none so blind as those who will not see.
Come to think about it, when I was a kid just after then war all the ‘junk’ stuff was made in Japan, I wonder who’ll be the next ‘junk’ maker country when they’ve finished slagging off China?

As for tools, to me Germany was the best and the Swiss for steel.

Alas all the purchasing from China is finished for me since the government introduced a custom charge plus VAT @23% in July this year, one used to be able to purchase anything costing less than €22 free of all taxes before that date.

I used to buy my cigarette rolling papers in a box of 100 packets from the UK, now I’ll have to pay both taxes on that plus the postage has gone up from the same UK source, which will double the overall cost, so now I’ll have to seek out somewhere else to get them, maybe Belgium, Spain, or France.

I once knew a lovely sweet woman who was a customs officer, she’s dead now rest her kind soul.

“She was only an excise duty girl
Without any airs or grace
Nothing to declare
But I became accustomed to her face.”

My Cat is very tech savvy, I came downstairs last night and caught him charging a mouse.

Crap I admit, but original none the less.

[spitfire]

Not bad Jem, ain’t lookin forward to Gumbuds poems though.

[DianneWoollie]

Testing the bookmarks…says you have to mention me before 18.00, no idea if that is French time or UK time…No matter ,it works I get to find out something useful today…Now who has stolen all the emoj’s…
that’ll be Trixie Knuckles…
so are his poems that bad?

[PixieKnuckles]

@DianneWoollie

Now who has stolen all the emoj’s…
that’ll be Trixie Knuckles…

Errr…excuuuuuuse me, Miss Woolie, there are no emjoi’s in my pixie pockets I’m telling ya!

[DianneWoollie]

I am just loving everybody today…and the people that do make odd comments towards me I love to hate them also…hahaha

[DianneWoollie]

Chillie6 and I have been on a like mission earlier
…
How are you today Trixie?and how are your Knuckles?

[PixieKnuckles]

I am quite delightful in myself, thank you Dianne! And you?

[DianneWoollie]

Well I have been on a cleaning mission… in between light hearted posts.

But I have had to except that sometimes my Husband is actually correct…not an easy acceptance…but getting use to it…he has only fallen in love ,yet again

[DianneWoollie]

Now without emoj’s, you do not know do you Trixie?