You are a tribal Princess and 16 therefore spoilt ask your mum Chiefess Mups
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Sheās not really my mum, I was trafficked here by some git called FatKev to do the cooking and say āawesomeā at inappropriate momentsā¦ā¦.
ā AND I WANT THE BLANKET!ā 
(Stomps off to stir the missionary)
You are Mo Farrah and I claim my 5 doubloons or a small sack of pieces of eight
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WRONG! Iām his younger and prettier 10th cousin, Flo Grabbah
But I could do you a half chewed box of After Eights if you like?
Oi! Thems my after eights! I was saving them, get yer grubby hands owf 'em! Iāve been pecking away at them ever since we set sail!
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The Duel of Death.
The Major Domo steps forward and reads the rules in a loud voice,
"The rules,
All duels of Death involving Weapons of Mass Distraction shall be held in an oil rich country with a Dictator. The Dictator will take no part in the game but hide in his palace throughout the game.
There shall be two players. Coalitions of the willing but stupid will be considered
Player 1 shall be a wicked overlord with a maniacal laugh
Player 2 shall be the silly beggar elected by the Chiefess Mups
Both players will be handcuffed to identical nuclear bombs with digital countdowns.
The first player to throw a six starts the game
The winner will be the player who with a Swiss Army knife defuses his bomb first and escapes, are you both agreed?"
Exciting eh,?
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Yeah, I can see youāve been sucking āem and putting āem back but tough titties, finders keepers and and Vlads need is greater, gotta build up his strength for the fight
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Oh please, what? if it werenāt for me, he would never have survived thisā¦thisā¦perilous journey!
Erā¦hello? Penguin here 
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Not any more!
Oh okā¦hasta la vista then
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penguin enters and stands in front of Vlad the Bad
You will not be turfing her out. 
Especially not overboards, you bad BAD man!
For added emphasis!
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Or there is this tooā¦I rather like this actually!
He already did - and I canāt swim!
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Shhh, 
I found this among our ancient tribal tomes, well, hung in a string in the khazi actually, but it might help 
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BANG - oops!
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Pick &Snip sounds quite fun 
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Sometimes you worry me, Pixie! 
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Is that me?
ahem! It is a far far better thing that I doā¦prompt!
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I am afraid that there will be no more chapters. It would seem to one of our heroines is bored with the tale, so best end it there, you survive to live another day 
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