Imagine you were looking forward to joining a new group of people for socialising etc and you found out that one member of this group was a woman who didn’t like you nor you her.
Would you still join?
My daughter’s mother in law finds herself in this situation. She’s very lonely & this club is just what she needs. She’s dithering about going now because this other woman will be there…
1 Like
Most certainly. In this life we cannot allow one individual to become a detraction.
1 Like
No I wouldnt , always play safe and keep a distance from people you dont like , why seek out their company , be kind to oneself and avoid discord …,
4 Likes
But with that slant on the group, the M-I-L would not mix with the people she needs in life. I have always had the attitude a faint heart never won a fair maiden and loneliness can be a killer.
Some of you may remember the lady who started this cafe group with me but then tried to claim it as her own. She now runs her own successful one, different day, different venue. Although we have since met (passed one another in town) and greeted each other nicely, I don’t want anything to do with her group, nor her mine. A mutual friend wanted her to come to our Tuesday meet, and tried to persuade me along to the other one, but I refused, saying I wanted to keep our groups separate.
So I can understand Carol’s daughter’s MiL’s hesitation.
3 Likes
I advised Wendy to pluck up courage & go just one time to see what it’s like.
About 20 or more people go to this social group so there’s a good chance she won’t need to go anywhere near this woman.
I think she’ll regret it if she doesn’t give it a try…
3 Likes
Theres loads more groups to join , it doen’t make sense to me to join that one with someone you dont like .in it .
1 Like
Depends on how large the group is, how long it has existed, and if that woman has a key position that she can use to influence other members. If it’s a new group as you say and if it’s large enough so that she can avoid that woman whose position is just that of an ordinary member, I’d give it a try.
1 Like
She most definitely will if she doesn’t at least try the group. Life is what we make it and to have one person spoil it is appalling. No, I agree with you that she should try it and see how it unfurls 
It’s the best group in the area Eliza…
1 Like
Which is a very good reason to go along and at least try it out
I volunteer at a NT property once a week. A while back a woman joined our group of volunteers and I really couldn’t take to her, I found her overbearing. After a while though I got to know her better and although we will never become best friends I see her in a different way and we are friendly towards each other. So, maybe if your daughter’s M in L joined the group she would find that over time her relationship with this woman would thaw to some extent. It’s really not worth not doing something you could enjoy just because of one person - there will be plenty of others in the group who she will get along with I’m sure.
3 Likes
I belong to a seniors’ club and the regular membership covers the continuum from people I really like and get on with through people I chat to but are really just casual acquaintances, to people I can’t stand a bar of and avoid like the plague (the feeling is probably mutual)
It doesn’t spoil my enjoyment of the club at all I suppose it was a group of, say, five people it would be different but I just avoid the ones I don’t get on with and stick with the ones I do and chat to the rest.
1 Like
I think she should give it a go
If there’s plenty of other people it will diffuse the situation and they may get on better than she thinks
Plus, if she joined another group instead, who’s to say she like everyone in that group?
Sometimes in life we must face the people we don’t like and make an effort to get along. I can’t imagine not liking anyone, but like Bruce says, sometimes you don’t gel with a person. In that case just seek out the ones that you do gel with and avoid the loud and aggressive ones.
But you have to remember…As one door closes, another door slams shut in your face…Meaning that there will always be that somebody taking their place. Better if you can learn to handle the situation.
I have found that in time that I’ve got on really well with some people who initially disliked me. It works the other way around round too, I’ve been introduced to people who peed me off for no apparent reason, which is nothing to boast about of course.
I think pipsqueak might have alluded to something similar in an earlier post.
1 Like
If I’m advising, I would say go for it. If I’m the one going, I’ll pass. Life is too short for more hassle. There are always more opportunities out there. In my experience, putting up with hassling people isn’t worth it.
1 Like
In life we all have to choose our own battles, sometimes discretion is the better part of valour, sometimes not.
In my life it’s very much been the former.
2 Likes
I would see that as an opportunity to build bridges. Much easier with others around to help break the ice.
2 Likes