Thanks, Sweetie.
I’ve just read the first 30 pages or so of this thread, and I really shouldn’t have worried about half the things I did yet I found it hard not to. I’m worrying now about my biopsy appointment even though its still a public holiday here and there’s no post.
I must learn to worry less; I’ll make that my New Year’s resolution.
Give the “worrying” to Jesus. 
and don’t forget to thank Him. (every time you have a good day, or a good hour, or a good thought). He loves it when He hears we appreciate what He does for us.
Oh, I’m grateful and answer this back in my prayers.
Having a positive attitude helps Dreamy.
Worry never solved anything.
Of course you are fed up with all the trips back and forth to hospital.
Anyone would feel the same.
Such a shame you have no-one to accompany you.
I was always at my Mother’s side.
No-one should face Cancer alone.
I have tried my best to support you on the forums over the years, that is the best I can do. X
I know; you’ve been very kind to me Sweetie, more than anyone. I just had the idea stuck in my head a few hours ago, “What if I don’t survive the year?”
I think that’s why I’ve partly turned to religion although the local minister (protestant) didn’t seem too interested when I phoned him last Week, just before Christmas.
It was as if he had heard it all before and I didn’t go into much medical detail to him. He said, “Come to Church” but didn’t sound too enthused. Then there are the happy-clappy type who talk in toungues and dance about frenetically. There are a lot of these type of Charismatic movement type of churches in Edinburgh, especially Leith which is quite near me. and they probably outnumber the traditional Episcopalian, Protestant or Catholic churches.
Saying that, I do believe in a Higher Power. AA taught me that. I don’t mind what the non-religious think about me but I think what they are thinking is that I’m just scrabbling about for some sort of meaning to life.
I will tell you something Dreamy.
My twins were born very premature at just 27weeks, I was told that they would not survive. I went to the chapel, and I prayed.
I pray for you and others every night.
I think we need to believe in good, I think we need to believe that we can overcome our obstacles in life, I think we should always grateful for what little time we have on this earth.
Meaning to life??? We all strive to understand that.
I do believe that God never gives us more than we can bear, you have overcome many twists and turns in your life
Dreamy, I remember some of the stories and scrapes you got into, you came through them, so remember that and build your strength for the next challenge.
It is not your time yet. I just know it. xxxx
I’ve done absolutely nothing today except have a bathe, shave and changing into new clothes. I’m guilty of staying in the same ones for a few days until I prompt myself. I don’t know why as I’ve got plenty of clothes. Perhaps it’s because I’ve not been getting out much.
Is anyone else like that? just having good clothes for going out and others for indoors. Some of mine were quite costly - Hackett, Ralph Lauren etc. I couldn’t imagine buying new clothes again - I probably have enough for a few years.
Today I received my pre-admission and appointments for my biopsy.
The preadmission is, I think, just something to ensure that you are OK for surgery, and the biopsy is obvious: they’ll remove a lymph node.
Very quick of them, I thought , just less than 2 weeks to go. Next week I’ve an appointment with a CPN and the next day the Consultant psychiatrist.
Good, good, good; you are moving forward and have a plan. It sounds like your team is giving you a lot of consideration. Take care of yourself in preparing for the surgery - eat well, get sleep - you know what to do :-).
I must eat more and better quality food; I’ve been a bit hampered going out, though, with my panic attacks.
I’m just glad everything is moving forward again after the festivities break.
Sorry I have been AWOL Dreamy. xxx
Dreamy where are you?
I am worried.
My panic attacks started after my last cancer operation Richard, and I have had them ever since.
But now when I get one (which is often), I just practice my breathing techniques. I also put a little pill under my tonge called Lorazepam, and before you know it, it is over.
I haven.t been eating very well lately, but I am trying to change that. Glad to hear you are also.
A biopsy is an examination of tissue removed from a living body to discover the presence, cause, or extent of a disease. So lets hope your biopsy is negative. Wouldn’t that we an answer to prayer?
You are always in my prayers and I got an email from one of our prayer warriors in Africa yesterday listing all they people on their prayer chain and you are third from the top. I was excited to see that.
Tell me Richard, when is your biopsy. Please give me the date and time if you would like some extra prayers at the exact time…
My biopsy is on the 16th at 7:45 am local time so anyone praying for me would be greatly appreciated.
I’ve not been out for ages and feel kind of trapped with the panic attacks. I did order a Tesco delivery for tomorrow so at least I’ll be having something to eat. I’ve not been eating, either, just not hungry and it seems so much hassle.
On Wednesday morning I’ve got a pre admission check-up to make sure I am fit for surgery; I’ve to provide a sample of my urine once there and they want me to bring in all my medications.
This starts off quite a busy period for me with 5 appointments close together - the Pre admission one, one with A CPN, the biopsy, my GPs and an appointment with a consultant Psychiatrist.
Sweetie, I’m never far away - some days I don’t feel like the internet, though. And I’m scared, if I go out, I may start drinking again to allay the feelings of anxiety. I’ve not been tempted so far but I do live above a shop. I’ve had to order a kettle from Tesco, too. My old one suddenly stopped working a few days ago. So I’ve been boiling water in a saucepan the past few days. It’s not as bad as it sounds - I only have 2 cups of coffee a day. I didn’t go overboard or super cheap, think it was £20. I’ll see it tomorrow.
Oh Dreamy I do understand.
You know how I worry.
Of course you are always in my prayers. X
I will keep checking on you.
Kettles do that. We have very hard water here. I always keep a spare.
I’m a bit worried, though, as these growths are new and weren’t on my September scan.
Still, onwards and upwards. What are the risks of a biopsy? I knew someone who had one in 1999 and I accompanied him home as he lived alone and the hospital like someone to be there in case of emergency. They like to get people in and out as soon as possible. The guy I was with had a stroke during the night and I had to phone 999. He survived but stuff like that just scares me witless.
Still, I’ve had 2 biopsies already this year both on my spinal column.
Thats’s one of my major fears: being alone on my own and perhaps not able to reach the phone though I keep one by my bed. Then what if it is a stroke and I’m not able to communicate?
It may come across as negative but my fears are genuine.
You need a panic alarm Dreamy. One press and it alerts everyone. I have one, not that I have ever used it.
It was given to me when my bag was snatched.
Try not to worry Dreamy, I have this feeling all will be well. xxxx
Richard, i AM A FRIEND of Bill W. (believe it). I knew there was a strong connection. Do not pick up that drink. It would be a big mistake. Get the big book down from the book shelf and read a few chapters,
January 16th 7:45am … we got you covered friend. Push your fears behind you, and face whatever you have to face, believing that you will come through it fine. A lot of people will be praying for you on the 16th. I wish I was closer, I would help you through all this…but I will be with you in Spirit…
Blue X
Thanks, Blue.
Oh, Dreamy I was just thinking about you. x
How are you today?
