Growing up, my Grandmother, (Who raised me) tried to instill in me how one should live their lives, so as to not upset anyone and to “Fit in”.
All well and good.
In growing up and finding my own way, my Grandmother’s lessons had relevant meaning in many respects.
Do not swear being one of her most strident lessons.
For the most part, that lesson has stuck with me and I have found ways to express myself without resorting to the crassness of profanities.
That does not mean that I do not swear. I have done, and will continue to swear into the future.
99.99% of the time I can find the non cuss word to fit the occasion. Once in say? 5 blue moons, the F word is the most appropriate when dealing with a situation or exasperating person.
Now, as I approach my dotage, I reflect back on my Granmama’s lessons and realise that I became my own man, in as much as I did do it my way.
One thing I do realise, that the majority of the time I did not, “Do the Done Thing”, I did not, “Do What Was Expected”
Now, that that does not mean to say I was a rebellious Brat. Far from it.
What it shows is that I was and am very strong willed and extremely independent.
Doing the done thing and doing what is expected all the time, to me at least, shows a lack of imagination, a lack of self determination and a desire simply to fit in.
Lest we be cast asunder.
I do not mind being, “Cast Asunder”
When I cast a critical eye over Society I see sameness, I see a lack of individuality, I see those who try to be different, Shunned and labelled as “Weird”.
As if to say, “Who are you to buck the system? Conform or become an outcast.”
As we have seen, so many people who have been ridiculed, maligned, cast asunder become confused and mentally unstable which can lead to horrific outcomes.
Always doing the right thing, the expected thing can be stultifying.
Ask yourself, “What do I really want from life”?
Ask it sooner, rather than later.
Of course it is easier to do what is expected, then there are no unexpected outcomes.
Boring!
Then ask yourself the question, “If I do what I want, will I be letting people down”?
Of course you will. But do you really want other people to dictate your life?
Do you really want to live to other people’s expectations?
Why not make a decision to live your life the way you want to live it?
Then you can be satisfied, as you too reach your dotage, that you did it
“Your Way” and not how Society expected you to live.
Sounds a little like myself Bretrick.
I can be stubborn at times and i do not like being told what to do,if i do not want to do something i will not.
I am not here to appease others,i never hurt anyone on purpose that would upset me deeply.
I had two sisters who enjoyed being horrible,never did understand that,i have a brother who is the most wonderful person ever,we have never had words and i love him to bits as do my children and grandchildren.
Life is too short to hurt or be hurt
I have been known to be stubborn at times ,but then again if i dont want to do something thats it .
I agree. I have travelled quite a lot and one of tried aspect for me has has been get along with others. Most people do, especially with businesses.
I like and understand everything you say, I was brought up to be honest and treat people with respect. Sadly you do not see that as much these days with younger people, selfishness has arrived and taken over. I think things are slowly getting worse in this country now in many ways, I feel I will be left behind by technology in the next few years, not only is most of it unneccessary it is increasingliy becoming more exopensive too.
Yes I am much the same can’t stand to be bossed about and my Husband is a typical Leo…and often it is natural to him to be bossy…so conflicts no … hardly ever because mostly I am an individual who will do what I want and he knows that after 50 odd years of wedded bliss haha.
Not in a harsh way generally but very much I am determined to lead a life I love and why not life is short and should be sweet…
I was a rebel at school and around 14 I started to drop out of school by lunch time…I never got into trouble really over that I just felt the overwhelming do this do that cycle that just got to me…Wash your face …no make up is allowed was one daily occurrence and that did not stop me either as the next day was the same scenario. Sport I loved and so I did excel in something.
My Mother was soft to us and always stuck up for us girls so we could go out and about and stay out late… until be fled the nest and then she gradually became a demon Mother…truly she was nasty.
Guess we all learn from our surroundings from our home life.
My Dad was super and was right up to the day he passed…bless him.
interesting thread as it makes you look back somewot…
Just add about swearing as I never ever heard bad words at home and only at senioir School did I learn such …Today a sort of a friend turned up here looking still very grey…He lost his wife of 50 odd years in January and is still in a devasted state…One thing he swears constantly at the drop of a hat…We said nothing just chatted away for a couple of hours. The first thing Husband said was the language omg…not good when it’s your everyday speaking. I am not bothered by the odd usage but that was not nice so glad when he left…ok he is very very sad but never the less we don’t like that.
Granny’s are full of advice, aren’t they?
The best advice mine London granny ever gave me was
“Keep your hand on your ha’penny girl”
And “always make sure you got your taxi fare home”
It’s always stood me in good stead so far….
Grandma’s words of wisdom? No matter what you do, it’s wrong in some way. So do your best at the time.
Her other sage advice: Women shouldn’t work outside the home. It makes men lazy.
I found that there are many lessons young boys can learn from simply watching John Wayne movies.
My grandmothers gave me no advice at all; they just taught me how to bake and cook just about everything under the sun (including a wickedly decadent chocolate meringue pie), while treating my other siblings and cousins like we hung the moon. I suppose that was advice, and if my children well ever get on with it, you can bet that I treat their children in kind 
.
Now as for conforming and non-conforming, my parents were always my moral compass and, to a fair degree, my driving force. They reared my siblings and me to adhere to traditions and rules, while at the same time encouraging us to be critical thinkers who should find our own directions and meaning in life. I suppose that has made me a fairly ordinary, rule-following sort of person with a good share of adventure along the way.
Being stubborn ensures others do not take advantage of you.
Given the chance, many will try to steam roll you to do their bidding.
Must do all we can to stop the use and abuse.
Yes would agree with that Bretrick…my Mother abused my sister and I for sure and then even with dementia she was never nice…One shocking thing she done one day…My dearest Dad had gone threw hell…he wanted to make the right decision to prolong his life. He went for drastic surgery and had the upper part of his stomach removed. He just said he owed to my Mother to try and stay alive for as long as he could.
Dad was home and Mother had a row with my Sister…she raged at her…whats new there…
She got in her head she was having a heart attack so got Dad to phone for an ambulance. He did of course and she got taken into Hospital for tests…
The outcome was with Dad trying to get on his feet again and her an blimin alarmist, actress of the worse kind possible…
We spoke when she arrived home that evening explaining to me she had a Major Heart Attack but because Dad was still so poorly they allowed her home…do I need to go on with this tale of false woe…
Hi Dianne, it sounds a little like your mother was deep down lonely and seeking attention?
We can never know what goes on inside other peoples heads.
Maybe it was your mother’s way of coping with life. Shining a spotlight on her self. At least she was getting some sort of attention.
Same here. I am not interested in technology. It seems to me to take away our self, focusing all own energies onto a little screen - or 6 foot television screen.
My tv is a tiny 45 cm one. Does me adequately.
No smart phone blue tooth activated in the car. As it is, I have a simply call/message phone.
I too will be left behind tech wise and I am okay with that. As long as I can access cash then that is all I require.
Initially your mother sounds like she was a wonderful person who understood the harshness of the world at large and wanted to give her children the smoothest path possible.
Not many parents are like that.
Life has an affect on all of us and there comes a time when we change, not always for the better.
Grandmothers teaching home economics was a very valuable trait.
They left the other stuff up to your mother. So their imparting of knowledge to you had it’s upsides which survive in you today.
No sorry your not knowing her as she was…in her last change of the Will she left it all to my oldest Son causing another Rift…My late father had with Mother decided to purchase a burial Plot at Bandon Hill Wallington, Surrey…she made a statement that a cremation at a far off place was what she wanted and not to be buried with Dad…I was here in France and so had no say but my Sister went along with her horrid wishes…me I would have booted her in my Dads Grave…he must be alone now for always though he will never really know that…which I am grateful for…Bless him
I try and resist technology unless it enhances my life. I have to confess to a 60 inch television as my old one blew up and I watch my films on it with surround sound. I have purchased a smartphone recently but only because of 2 things 1. they are turning off my old phone’s signal soon and 2. landlines will not work in a couple of years unless you plug it into your router which means leaving your router on all the time.
Otherwise I try to resist apps etc and having all your passwords stored on your phone for various websites. I do thing the internet will collapse eventually then it is back to the dark ages.
I cannot stand swearing at all and my impressions of someone who does is they are of poor character.
Yes I would say he is but because I had known his wife quite well it was and will be a difficult time for him and we will give him some of our time to help him over his grief…It is not an easy or a nice situation for us but he does look very much on a verge…
Yes I feel for him, at least we can support him with words of sympathy and encouragement.