1 - It’s illegal to be drunk in a pub
Rules state it is an offence to be drunk on pub premises.
Section 12 of the 1872 Licensing Act stipulates that ‘every person found drunk… on any licensed premises shall be liable to a penalty’, which currently stands at £200.
2 - It is illegal to handle salmon in suspicious circumstances
It is aimed at selling fish gained through illicit means - rather than those holding them, well, in a suspicious way.
Apparently, a five-hour House of Lords debate about the issue in February 1986 decided the wording would protect unwitting people from the then-in-place wider law of “possessing salmon which have been illegally taken, killed or landed”.
Once a childhood pastime known variously as knock down ginger, knock-a-door-run and cherry knocking to name just three versions, it is not as common as it was, perhaps because kids have found out that knocking on a door and running away is a criminal offence.
An 1839 law makes it an offence to “wilfully and wantonly disturb any inhabitant by pulling or ringing any doorbell or knocking at any door without lawful excuse”.
4 - Nuclear explosion
It is illegal under the terms of the Prohibition and Inspections Act of 1998 to cause a nuclear explosion.
Now people know, hopefully it will make them think twice before detonating their nuclear device.
5 - Unattended alarms
It is an offence under a provision of the Clean Neighbourhoods and Environment Act 2005 to leave your property with a burglar alarm activated, unless you have named a “key-holder” responsible for shutting it off if you are away.
6 - It’s illegal to sing Happy Birthday in a restaurant
If you’re enjoying a quiet meal out with a loved one and a cake with candles on top arrives at the adjacent table you can, if you like, inform the people next to you the song is a copyrighted work and performing it in public is technically a violation of copyright. So. Shut. Up!
7 - You must clear your whole windscreen of ice before driving
The law states windows must be clear – and you can be fined up to £1,000.
8 - You can’t wear a suit of armour into Parliament
I’m sure some party leaders have wished they could, offering some sort of protection from their back benchers, however they have to throw down their gauntlets before they enter the chamber.
9 - Bringing Polish potatoes to England
Not a Brexit stunt, the Polish Potatoes Order 2004 makes it illegal for someone to “import into England potatoes which he knows to be or has reasonable cause to suspect to be Polish potatoes”.
An exception is made if you write to an inspector at least two days before you plan to bring your tubers over, giving a list details about said spud, its destination and the like.
The law was introduced in response to ring rot outbreaks in Poland. In 2012, the Food and Environment Research Agency reinforced the guideline, by demanding a ring rot test certificate accompany the spuds.
This was triggered by a poor crop in the UK leading to importers searching for European replacements.
10 - UK law states it’s illegal to linger after a funeral
Perhaps the saddest of the lot is the fact you’re not allowed to linger after a funeral.
In 2015, a man was charged £160 for staying an extra 20 minutes after his wife’s service had finished because he had prevented the gravediggers from doing their job. Harsh.
11 - Illegal to pay with your phone at a drive-through whilst your car is still running
This law dates back to the mobile phone laws from 2003 that outline when it’s illegal to touch a phone or a handset while driving.
So, if you’re handling your phone while the engine is running, you’re technically using your phone while operating a car.
12 - Drunk in charge of a horse
Under the Licensing Act 1872, it is an offence to be drunk in charge of a carriage, horse, cow or steam engine, or whilst in possession of a loaded firearm, for that matter.
13 - Sounding your horn through anger
Sounding a horn aggressively because you are annoyed or frustrated could land you with a fine of £50, with the possibility of it rising to £1,000 if you were to go to court, contest it and lose.
You may still face this fine, even if a pedestrian or driver acts dangerously or is at fault in some way.
It’s also against the law to sound a horn whilst the vehicle is stationary or while in a built-up area between 11.30 pm and 7am.
14 - It is illegal to destroy or deface money
Under the Currency and Banknotes Act of 1928, it’s illegal to deface a banknote by drawing, stamping, or printing on it.
15 - Cycling on pavements is against the law
The Highway Code Rule 64 states - you must not cycle on a pavement.
Yet that doesn’t seem to stop a growing number of idiots doing just that and grumbling if pedestrians don’t get out of the way quick enough.
16 - Speeding while driving
Stating the obvious, you think? How many times have you been tailgated by someone who thinks the 70mph road sign denotes the minimum speed you should be travelling at not the maximum.
17 - Pocketing change when given wrong amount
If you know you have done it, then it is wrong. And remember this. Irrespective of the law, staff are often forced to make up shortages in the till at the end of the day from their own pockets. Hand it back.
18 - Having sex in a public place
Down with this sort of thing.
19 - Buying cigarettes under the age of 18
It’s also illegal to buy tabs for someone under the age of 18
20 - Not wearing a seat belt on a car journey
This is an obvious one.
21 - Using a mobile phone while driving
It’s illegal to hold a mobile phone while driving regardless of the reason for doing so.
It is also illegal if you are a passenger supervising a learner driver.
22 - Cycling without lights after dark
For the cyclist’s good as well as car drivers.
23 - Parking on double yellow lines
Illegal unless you’re a Blue Badge holder who can park on double yellow lines for up to three hours if it is safe to do so but not within 15 metres of a junction or where there are restrictions on loading or unloading.
24 - Driving through a red light
Top tip. When approaching traffic lights, slow down at amber, don’t put your foot down and there’s less chance of you breaking this one.
25 - Not paying for a carrier bag at a self-service checkout
I know they cost around 20p these days but it’s still no excuse.
26 - Watching television without a licence
It won’t be illegal for much longer if certain Tories have anything to do with it.
27 - Using someone else’s wifi without them knowing
If you use a neighbour’s wifi without them know, it is known as piggybacking and is illegal.
