With my Mother and Grandmother being very aggressive towards me I became wary of women and stayed away from them as much as possible.
As a result never married (A good thing in retrospect) hitting the bottle instead (a bad thing in retrospect)
Becoming a loner at a very young age (good and bad in retrospect)
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I am sorry you suffered such abuse.
I would say from the time I married the abuse started and never stopped until my Mother Died
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It is really sad that so many people go through long periods of abuse.
Luckily for most, the abuse finally stops and some peace can be found.
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Yes I never even considered going to her Funeral…I was relieved to some extent that I would never have contact with her again.
When she was in a long stay Hospital ward I would speak to the Staff and get an update on her and that was the way I could cope really.
The last we spoke was real devasterstating so that is why we never spoke again.
She had a cremation after elsewhere and my beloved father had reserved a burial plot for them at Bandon Hill,
Wallington,Surrey… both to be together again in death…she chose otherwise.
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I don`t live in the past Bretrick,it has gone, i live everyday and look forward to the future.
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A great philosophy as well.
Our past had an influence on the person we are today.
Spot on !!
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We are all a product of our past, a summation of our life experiences. How we view our past experiences, both consciously and sub-consciously, shape how we approach life. They can have a profound impact on many areas of our life. Routine behaviours and experiences become like a program that we follow day in, day out. I, myself, am an introvert, I have found few (if any) outside of myself that I trust, including family. I routinely try to help those around whom are in need of help (if I can), but I would never ask for help. I socialize well after a few drinks, but I prefer my own company if not drinking.
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What’s a few and what are the drinks? 
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2 or 3 gallons, I’m joking. I usually might have a coffee and a whisky (my preference), maybe a brew (usually a Stout) or 2 about twice a week. Here is the really hilarious part, I have a full bar at home and I never drink there (Irish Whisky / Cognacs / Rums / Raki / Scotch Whisky / Tequilas ), most were gifts (actually all were gifts).
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Here’s an interesting factoid for you, while I am Irish / Scot, and come from a long line of heavy drinkers, I have spent over 50 years in Transportation, have a commercial drivers license, and have never had so much as a beer before getting behind the wheel.
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having to go to a school with bad teachers ,not just discipline but their inability to actually get subjects across to pupils . The headmaster was a sadist and rather lash out with the cane than listen and explain. In todays world he would be in prison for a very long time.
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@Bretrick I definitely agree that how we were raised and by whom deeply affected the way we grew up and lived our lives up until the present day.
I was born during WWII with a mother who rapidly became severely war damaged in her mind and a father who was frequently away carrying out sabotage behind enemy lines (I was conceived during a home run) and then after the war he was in Palestine until '48 when he returned home to die only months later. That was when, at 5, I was raised by my paternal grandparents, who gave me the mental tools and abilities to survive as “a filthy stinking Jew” in a non-Jewish country. They made me who and what I am today for which I remain eternally grateful. Philip Larkin wrote some wise words about parents 
Quote by Philip Larkin: “They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may n…” (goodreads.com)
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I know in many cases, parents have a lots to answer for.
Many people say, “They were doing their best with what they had”. Agreed, but some were simply sadistic and took it out on the children
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In many respects the past has had a tremendous impact on me. Family relationships is just one example. What made the deepest impression on me up to the age of 10 was the fact that people kept dying around me which I tried to come to terms with. Within those ten years I lost all my grandparents, my father, and my older brother who died in a motorbike crash taking his girlfriend with him. I’ve always adored my mum but despised my father who was a drunkard. I remember being ashamed when I had to buy his quantum of beer (ten 0.33 bottles of beer for the weekend). He’d bring a bottle of hard liquor himself. I don’t know what he drank during the week. I felt embarrassed when my class mates were seeing me home after school and my father opened the door obviously half-drunk and sometimes with his trousers wet. There were the usual dramas at home but he did not abuse nor beat us or our mother.
His death at 63 had two effects: for our mum the best part of her life began and my brother and me had learned a lesson: to make sure not to follow in his footsteps by being careful about alcohol.
What did leave a wound in the course of time was the death of my other brother and his fiancee. It made me aware of how quickly life can be over and it probably made me more cautious than people without that experience. Never rode a motorbike. We had to promise that to our mother.
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Blimey, one would not be Human, if it didn’t. 
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I was subject to abuse all my childhood and yes, it has made an indelible mark on me which I have had to carry all my life. Not just the physical scars, but the emotional ones, which at one time drove me into depression as I had to try to cope with my life afterwards right up to the present day. Therapists, councillors, SSRI drugs…been there, done that. None of them helped and some made me feel worse. My only credit I have for myself is my education and career I managed to carve for myself, which my father did his best to ruin.
I have never had children, nor do I wish to, because I have a mortal fear that I could unintentionally inflict on them that which I had done to me - and no one should ever go through the things that I did in my life.
It’s all too easy and simplistic to say “it’s in the past, move on”, but these things stay with you and haunt you every day of your life. I only have to look at my scars to remind me of that.
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This is something those not afflicted with have no real concept of the life long damage early abuse can have.
Coping strategies allow some semblance of “normality”. But keep me away from crowds.
Off I go to the bush to talk to the animals.
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So many people have this as their upbringing.
Too much sadness. But we do for the most part manage our own life avoiding the pitfalls that captured many parents.
I have one such young lady here, staying under my roof at just turned18 because of her abusive gambler of a father who used to steal from her to help feed his addiction. She came to live here recently, just hours after he set about her leaving very badly bruised all over inc her face and a cut forearm needing stitches in hospital; he even ripped her new clothes until she gave him her card PIN. Thats all I can say for now as her father is in police custody which will result in a court appearance, then hopefully prison.
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