Oh who remembers this one (sung to the tune of Mary from the Mountain Glen, obviously!!)
Mary from the Mountain Glen
Seduced herself with a fountain pen
The pen did break
The ink went wild
And she gave birth to a blue black child
And she called the b-----d Stephen
She called the b-----d Stephen
She called the b-----d Stephen
Cos that was the name of the ink.
My mum used to recite a rhyme about a woman who married a “darkie”
I can’t remember the actual rhyme, but the last line was
One black, one white, one khaki
Oh dear!
Edit: oh gawd, they’re all on Google!!!
It’s about time we had a bit of culture round here, sheba. 
Absolutely! And I’m more than happy to oblige 
I don’t think we need to know what the rhyme was in order to fill in the gap between the wedding and the production of something khaki, ruthio. 
Ok let’s raise the level a little. Anyone remember spouting the following? I learnt this around the age of 13 - we all used to feel so clever reeling it off 
Are you insinuating that I should tolerate such diabolical insolence from such an impertinent person as you, when your mind is not sufficiently sophisticated to comprehend the verbosity of my remarks?
Yeah, put that in your pipe and smoke it, haha
There was a young woman named Starkey
who fell in love with a darkie.
The result of her sins
was three sets of twins -
One black, one white, and one khaki.
Of course I did not know that - had to ask the cat!
Or indeed her plumber, nobody wants a drippy plumber 
My nose drips too. I spend a fortune on man size tissues.
You were longing to find a use for that tap, weren’t you, Maree. 
He is actually rather dishy, but far too young for me.
Never say never!
Wild Rover
Oh, I remember my mum spouting a similar wordy reply if we asked her a question, she would reply…
“Not knowing cannot say…
Not being sufficiently interested, cannot reply with that degree of verisimilitude which alone could satisfy your insatiable curiosity” 
Hah! I love it!!
and I still cannot say verimil vermisi vermilis that word!! 
PS: did you mean vermicelli? 
I love that - with a carbonara sauce and lots of prawns!
Mmm 
. Definitely better than verisimilitude with carbonara sauce 
Saturday tomorrow
Buy a penny gum
Get behind the policeman
And stick it up his bum!
Well, that’s what we used to sing at my primary school on Fridays!
