My mum used to tell me little rhymes that she was taught by her auntie as a little girl. One of them was:
Oh ain’t it shocking
A flea ran up my stocking
It bit my bum and made me run
Oh ain’t it shocking.
And then there was this one (you have to say it quickly… 
)
A chased a bug
Around a tree
I’ll have his blood
He knows I will.
Her mum wasn’t best pleased that she used to go around chanting these!!
Bless me father for l have sinned… it’s a century since l last went to confession…
My father in law used to tell my husband:
I’ll tell thee a tale abart a snail
Who jumped in the fire and burnt his tale
I’ll tell thee another abart his brother
Who jumped in the fire and turned to sugar!
Its not even been a week since well don’t want to mention it, but moral decay has begun to set in to rot already.
you are off to hell for sure
I’m not sure why l always remember boys at school saying…
Hot snot, bogey pie
All mixed with dead duck’s eye
Get some scabs, spread them thick
Swallow it down with a hot cup of sick!!
So disgusting!!
Oh Arty, yuck! 
no thats wrong
It’s:
Yellow Belly custard green snot pie
All mixed up with a dead dogs eye
Spit some phlegm and spread it on thick
Then drink it down with a cold cup of sick
YUK,
Whoever thunk up that!!! Wa’ it you ArtDevil
now everyone is gipping lol
I’d just poured myself a glass of Baileys. Not sure I can stomach it now 
Oh it’s so funny and so good to laugh!
I remember going to a birthday party when I was 6 or 7 and we all had to do a “turn”, I was a singularly untalented child so I opted to say a rhyme my father had taught me.
Don’t go out with Jane any more,
don’t go out with Mary,
don’t go out with girls anymore,
whoops I’m a fairy.
It caused a bit of a stir with the mums that had stayed at the party.
ok, who can say this right fast (no cheating (hesitating)
one smart fella he felt smart
two smart fellas they felt smart
three smart fellas they felt smart
and they all felt smart together
I’m so ridiculously immature
And that reminds me of Mr B saying “Oh he’s a fart smeller”
One of Mr B’s ditties is…
The boy stood on the burning deck
His hand was all a-quiver
He undid her suspender
And her leg fell in the river
There’s no hope for any of you!
I obviously led a sheltered life!!
Reminds me of another of my Dad’s
The boy stood on the burning deck
picking his nose like mad,
rolling it into little balls,
and flicking them at his dad.
lol they are all coming out now lol
The boy stood on the burning deck
His lips all of a quiver
He gave a cough
His leg fell off
And floated down the river 
The boy stood in the witness box
Picking his nose like fury
He rolled it up into little balls
And flicked it at the jury 
Night folks, see ya tomoz xx
