Someone once said: “You must try everything, at least once in your life”
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The definition of Jazz: Beautiful music, but with all the notes jumbled up!
As they say in a Yorkshire Bingo Hall…Shek em’ up…
Ode to a Black Hole
By Mars Barr.
Way up yonder in that there sky
Sits a hole that cannot fly
Get too close and you are doomed
All around it are soon consumed
Spiraling down to the very bottom
Stars and all the hole has gottem
But what lies at the very end
Some know and some pretend
Don’t ask me I don’t know Son
Experts think it’s Higgs Bosum
Let’s go find it one of them said
We’ll build a tunnel when we get out of bed
Seven Billion quid and ten years later
They’re still saying see ya later alligator
As the work goes on and they get fatter
They still have jobs, what matter
What they found they cannot say
Else their careers are blown away
Keep it going and soon you’ll see
We’ll all go down in historee
Ain’t it grand God dammit!
We are the highest paid wasters on the Planet.
well all in all I think all this inquiry and searching is searching for God.
He watches them like ants on a football
scurrying this way and that
and when they look to the sky they say ‘My oh My’
but let’s keep on searching for ‘Cats’
this way it could take them for eons
but it’s all good fun, passes the day
and when ball rolls down hill it gives them a thrill
and they all shout Higgs Bottom heh heh!
as the searches go on the universe just keeps getting bigger and bigger in our scheme of things and eventually the ‘search parties’ won’t make it back to tell the tale!
[FONT=Calibri]All this soul searching is getting us nowhere[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]cos frankly on a bad day I really just don’t care[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]If your name was on the roll call for Glory yesterday[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Today you’ll know what follows & the price you had to pay[/FONT]
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Sometimes I get a bad feeling in my Particles, usually in the Dark, does this Matter.
very clever spitty
you are on a roll
Cosmic dust perhaps, might be caused by exposure to direct Sunlight, nude sunbathing is not really recommended in these Islands, but you could always try a codpiece, if it doesn’t work don’t worry, you can eat it later with chips.
I always worry when I don my Codpiece, what if one day it is Boneless, especially if it is just an inch or so away from a Birds Eye?.
https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/health/news/a/26534530/your-phone-is-making-you-lazier/
I never use my smartphone to look up anything - cos I’m usually running around the house lookin for my smartphone!
now would you classify yourself as an intuitive thinker or analytic thinker?
That’s the way everyones heading, they won’t even bother to think anymore, pass that on for a couple of generations and they won’t be able to add 1+1, then some huge natural disaster, the earths magnets go bonkers and all electricity ceases to be, so it’s back to the cave again, the libraries will have disappeared, all the stuff that was electronically stored will be lost, I’m convinced this has happened to mankind many many times before, we get too cocky and lazy, but maybe that’s natures way of cleaning the world up. Ever wonder how man is a couple of million years on this planet and historians can barely go back 5,000 years?, even with that they still manage to make a balls of it and we never really get a true picture of mankind’s history.
and we look down upon those who have no written histories and rely upon oral tradition going back 50,000 years. my father never passed on any oral history of his family and so my son and his son have no history of the name they carry. Whereas although my mother never passed on any oral history of her family we have managed to research it and have some sketchy stories. I suppose that’s why they say that within one life time the history of most families will be lost as the vast majority do not collect any written records
Ain’t sure, but we haven’t had paper that long, have we? If you found paper just lying there back then, would you write on it, or would you blow your nose and wipe your Bum?
I think they used animal hides Spitty, if I found a piece of paper and had to decide in a hurry I would memorise any message on the paper first then make sure I blew me nose before I wiped me arse.
Where would we be without the stone carvings, they survived fairly well. and then you had Moses who was given the two tablets, I believe that bit, anyone would need tablets after spending a long time on a desert mountain, that sun must have given him a fierce headache.
When I was young and didn’t care much
I got a kind of job as such
Cleaning out cars down in the slums
Wiping seats where once sat bums
One day I found a silver coin
Under a back seat it was lying
It was a shilling old and bent
So off to the chipper I went.
In our local chipper we could get a ‘Single’ which was the normal bag of chips, they cost six pence, a tanner, then a ‘Large Single’ which was medium, the biggest you got was a ‘Double Single’ , only in Dublin could someone get a “Double Single”
There was no such thing as inflation in the 50’s because the chips stayed the same price year in year out, just like that threepenny bar of Cadbury’s chocolate, remember the long thin skinny one, chocolate and fizzy drinks were far dearer then they are now considering the wages then.
The types of fish on offer were, Cod, Smoked Cod, Long Ray, Flat Ray, and Whiting, that was it.
Most of the chip shops in Dublin were owned and run by Italian Families and still are today.
love the quirky poems
No paper to wipe your arse, maybe Tablets were given to deal with the Androids.
the left hand was reserved for wiping the arse - thus the aversion to left handed peoples and never using the left hand to shake hands. several other expressions evolved like - arse over hand or head and arse about turd or was that turn - or I could never be arsed and then there is the time honored saying "an arse in the hand is worth two chewing your cud " and many more
Indeed, the human bum plays an important role in all our lives.
Not forgetting that first smack we got on the arse on day one from our deliverer.
Speaking of which, there are no beds in our maternity hospitals on account of the cutbacks so the state has hired Dick Turpin to take over, when the patients arrive they are simply told to “Stand and Deliver”
Oh my God.
nice on Jem they’re getting better!
That reminds me of my late father’s sister Janet, known as Jinny to the family. She had the family’s oversized nose, thread veins & shoulder heaving belly laugh.
Not one to spare my feelings regularly declared that I was the ugliest baby she’d ever seen & “All Nose”.
Always ending by saying
" Rob was so ugly that the midwife slapped his mother"