and whilst on geography there is a
South Africa but is there an east, west and north africa and if not why not?
and why only a north america and south and nothing else? all very lopsided!
Jem, why did you break protocol, why did you see off the Chaser first and why was there lemon in it?, nice Jugs.
Oh,is that lemon peel? I thought Jem’d been drinking Baked Potato and Rum!
Baked potato and Rum.
Come to think of it some Poteen is made from the Potato and I did sample Poreen with a hefty dash of Old Jamaica, not a bad combination Pug, providing you haven’t to go to work again for a Month.
Well,I didn’t mean to stereotype,Jem,but the chance was just BEGGING…
actually,I gave a home to an Irish champion Greyhound once.
As I understood it,he’d won so often in Ireland they just couldn’t get odds on him,so they brought him to England,but in his third race here,he chipped an ankle bone,so the b#stards were going to shoot him. WRONG!
I renamed him ‘Spud’ [the Irish connection,y’see-sorry bro]
Spud was massive,had muscles on his muscles,and zapped along like he was electric,yet he was as gentle as a dove’s feather. Gawww,I miss Spud…
That was right decent of you taking in the old greyhound Pug, and as me granny used to say ‘If you are not rewarded in this world you’ll surely be in the next’, bless her dear kind soul.
I was never one for the dog racing, if they could figure a way of getting someone on the dogs back to steer them I might risk a euro on a bet, skinflint that I am.
Speaking of the granny, she had a dog called Tim and she’d have him up to all kinds of tricks, he was very fond of smoking a pipe, held it between his front paws when he was relaxing by the fireside, and he was partial to a drop of brandy, I say partial, not a raving alcoholic like them St. Bernard fellas you see carrying a barrel of the stuff around their necks everywhere they go, them fella’s ought to be taken into a rehab clinic to dry out. Anyway he lived to the ripe old age of 18, God rest him, the granny buried him (and his pipe) under the old oak tree at the foot of the back garden.
And God said to himself ‘let us make hew mans in the likeness of ourselves’ “wot said God 2 like mirror images?” – well sort of said G1 but they can’t see us but we can see them. We will first make a hew man and then make a woe man out of his rib – why woe man – because he will be a sssssssssssssssssh he and always full of woe!
We will put them on another galactical thingy and call it earth. Why earth – well it will be earthy – wots earthy – well soil and things, dust, rotting stuff but good for growing veggies! Wot just two hew mans and all that soil.
Well no they will multiply – and divide? – yes and divide – and how. Well this is going to be hard to explain. Well they will lay together – where – anywhere – on the soil – yes sometimes – and then wot – well they will become connected – connected wots connected?
Well like our galactic probe rods that we use to pick up new planets. Oh so who gets the probe rod – well we’ve decided to give it to the man – why? – well many men will be called Dick which is shorter than probe rod. And the woe man is like a new planet getting picked up – yes you’ve got it in one – the man probes the woe man and they connect and then after a bit of shuffling around to make sure the connection is sound they fall asleep together for 9 months and lo the woe man is with child!
Do join in……………………!
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[FONT=Calibri]Pleasure to respond Gumbud.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Calibri]Some scientists having been spectacularly successful in producing life forms via cloning & root cells, decided that they no longer required God[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Flush with pride they arranged a meeting with the Creator & Lord of all , GOD himself.[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]They declared boastfully…[/FONT]
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[FONT=Calibri] “We have created life out of the dirt & dust”[/FONT]
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[FONT=Calibri]God paused for a moment…[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]“Tell me exactly how you achieved this feat?” [/FONT]
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[FONT=Calibri]“First we gathered some dirt & dust” they bounded on.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Calibri]GOD stopped them in their tracks with[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]“Not with my dirt & dust you don’t.[/FONT]
[FONT=“Calibri”]Go find your own dirt & dust ! [/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman]THE BIBLE ON ONE PAGE[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]The BIBLE on one page by RJ November 2004.
Building plans for Earth approved and completion in record time of 6 days.
Time share guests arrive and abuse hospitality, fig leaves cause fashion storm.
Storms lash newly fashioned world … Zoo cruise makes news .
…
"Multicoloured coat owner sold by brothers, becomes Ruler of Egypt. …
Moses leads Hebrews across muddy seabed and they spend 40 years on big beach.
Samson has a- grade one… ‘.
Shepherd boy becomes King after slaying big bully." I’m a poet really’
Jeremiah and Job share tales of woe. Off to Babylon, the Hebrews go
Daniel braves furnace and lions den. Have visions and dreams giving revelations of new Jerusalem, no jam.
Hebrews return to Jerusalem and build big temple. Hebrew replaced by Aramaic.
Temple sacked by Antiochus. Judas Maccabeus becomes conquering hero.
Herod goes off his head … First known census taken. Newborn King arrives in stable.
Romans take over Jerusalem. Jesus aged 12 visits Temple and takes notes .Elders note Jesus,
Jesus spends 3 years proclaiming his role, trains disciples then has palaver in Temple and upsets tables.
Peoples upset. Pharisees, Sadducees, Romans, upset by Jesus
Jesus executed, appears live again to friends and onlookers 10 times before ascending …
His followers persecuted by Paul who has first recorded Damascus road experience.
Paul becomes first missionary, establishing free churches . writes a lot while in prison.
John writes Revelation [/FONT]
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well that saved me reading the bible again!
then God 2 asked -wot about the colors -wot do you mean colors ? -well it’s a bit boring innit having all the same off white - Oh I see well we can have a range of colors - green for greenlanders; icey color [blue noses] for Iceland - yellow for china and then a lovely shared of browns to blacks across Asia and efrica!
why all different colors - keeps em guessing and they have to learn to get on with difference!! yes all the same would be boooorrrrring!
wot about babies -all boys - gnaw - boring again - XX will be the kissing girls and XY will be always asking why me! I think we nearly have it sorted to unleash them on an unsuspecting planet!!
“Well like our galactic probe rods that we use to pick up new planets. Oh so who gets the probe rod – well we’ve decided to give it to the man – why? – well many men will be called Dick which is shorter than probe rod. And the woe man is like a new planet getting picked up – yes you’ve got it in one – the man probes the woe man and they connect and then after a bit of shuffling around to make sure the connection is sound they fall asleep together for 9 months and lo the woe man is with child!”
Yes Gumbud, that’s what usually happens when you put all your thrust into a woman, resulting in the original Mick and Mary’s banishment from the garden of Eden, more the result of the fruit of the loins than the fruit of a tree. And that’s when their troubles really began.
Yes Gumbud, that’s what usually happens when you put all your thrust into a woman, resulting in the original Mick and Mary’s banishment from the garden of Eden, more the result of the fruit of the loins than the fruit of a tree. And that’s when their troubles really began.
speak 4 yaself haven’t had a good galactic probe rod thrust for years! come ta fink of it where did I last put me galactic probe rod?
Mary, have you seen me galactic probe rod lately - Mary looked up from her knitting - " haven’t seen it; haven’t felt it; haven’t touched it for ages!
Maybe it fell into one of them Black Holes everyone’s talkin about.
Black Holes are just Data Gaps, probably.
well let me just clarify this Jem - are you suggesting that my galactic probe rod has fallen into a black hole?
and I didn’t know everyone was talking about ‘blackholes’ - I must be missing out on something - are there any other color holes around or are all holes black?
There have been several programs on BBC4 recently about the mysterious Black holes Gumbud, and the old lads in my local have latched on, offering all sorts of explanations and theories, it keeps us amused and gives us something to talk about during the domino games. Now more than ever I’m inclined to believe what Clint Eastwood said about opinions “Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one”
OK topic switch for a mo - wot are the three topics that should never be discussed online?? - politics; religion and cow pats!
well I wanna talk about racing - a race between the two most dominant religions - NO I am not discussing religion I am discussing racing. So some argue that Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world
http://www.answering-christianity.com/yahya_ahmed/islam_fasting_growing_religion_world.htm
and others argue that NO christianity is the fastest:
http://www.bible.ca/islam/islam-myths-fastest-growing.htm
so see it is still a discussion about a race - NO not a race of peoples but a race on a linear time scale. Wot do you fink
NEXT I’d like to mention [no not here later] the continuing Holy Wars in the modern idiom!!
I’m staying out of controversy for Lent.
there’s nothing like being lent over backwards is that reversed genuflection?