Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing,
Grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
What do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship…
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And in closing…
If Father is Pop, how come Mother’s not Mop.???
All very true Cherie and we can shut down our computer by using the start button.
Hi there Longdogs and thankyou for polnting out another crazy phenomenom to me. I guess there are plenty of situations like this in the wacky world we live in!
No horses in a car engine.
Yep, you’re quite right besoeker, even if you drive a Mustang!
Brilliant Cherie…
How can a building be ‘Raised to the Ground?’
Actually the expression is “razed to the ground”.
Think “razor”.
Thanks Bruce, I never knew that…
Hi there OldGreyFox, nice to meet you and thank you for such a ‘brilliant’ reply to my thread. Being a lover of the English Language, not only did I find the article funny, I also found it informative. Keep watching for part 2!
It hurts when you f*** up, doesn’t it? 
I know the feeling.
A Yorkshireman has a F*** up well I never
First time in history :shock:
Razed…Raised. pmsl.
Okay guys, enjoy this rare opportunity…
([SIZE=“1”]walks away with head down kicking stones[/SIZE]…)
Let’s face it - English is a Crazy Language! Part 2
English - hilarious!
We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Love it Cherie… But I’m not going to comment and show myself up for the reprobate that I am…
Their theyr’e Foxy.
Or even they’re.
You’r’e good Plops.
What did I tell you Longdogs?
That Ploppy bloke really knows his stuff…
you’de think he was a Brit…
It’s mixing wiv us lot thats’ dun it.