I had a boyfriend who used to tell me that he didn’t believe you had to experience bad to appreciate the good.
At the time, I didn’t understand why he was telling me that. I didn’t have an opinion about it either way.
I later learned that when you’re going through a tough time, people will tell you that you have to experience the bad to appreciate the good. It’s probably their way of justifying the bad and hoping you buy their rationalization.
But maybe it’s true?
What do you think? Do you have to experience bad to appreciate the good?
I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary to have experienced it yourself. In most cases being informed about it should do. But if you experience something yourself, the impact will be more intense and the learning curve will be steeper. It’s a bit like seeing is believing.
I would say we all enjoy the good things in life but we may take for granted some things. It’s when we are stopped from doing those things or we find it hard to carry on with what would be the norm we then appreciate the mundane so much more.
I don’t know if people who have always had a secure roof over their head and food in their belly and someone to care for them do appreciate those things quite as much as people who have experienced long periods of an unstable home life, hunger or neglect.
Ever since I left home and started earning my own money, I have thanked my lucky stars that I no longer have to hide under the stairs when the rent man knocked on the door.
Even when I was living in a YWCA hostel, with very basic facilities, I appreciated having a roof over my head, a warm bed and food in my belly.
Some people may have turned their nose up at such basic facilities but, to me, it seemed like a Palace - and a haven of security.
By that reasoning, people who haven’t been in excruciating pain for years of their life can’t feel the goodness of good health.
It seems to me that everyone has felt some level of pain and deprivation and most people know it’s not something they want.
They can still feel the goodness of a good situation.
At some level, if the pain or deprivation is high enough, it’s more a fear of not going back than an increased feeling of goodness for a good situation.
I am not sure what you mean when you say “By that reasoning …” when you quoted my post.
I began by saying “I do not know if …” … I thought that made it clear that I did not (and could not) know how people who had not experienced what I had would feel.
The same goes for people who have lived with chronic pain - I would never claim to know how they feel.
I think I do take my good health for granted and I do not know how I would feel or how I would cope if I had a chronic ill-health condition.
Ah, I see. That’s generally a colloquialism but you meant it literally.
Taking it literally means, at least for you, you can only speak for yourself on this issue. Does that extend to others?
Extending that more generally, everyone can only speak for themselves on this issue.
Then perhaps, some people can appreciate the good without experiencing the bad but others have to experience the bad for themselves before they can appreciate the good.
It just depends on how they see it for themselves.
