I was listening to a song by Demi Lovato called “Anyone”. In the song, she says that nobody is listening to her. In 2018, Demi Lovato was the most searched person on the planet after she attempted suicide. She has a huge fanbase and multiple hit records and still feels unheard. She’s an extreme case of someone who has a lot of attention but feels unheard. But this thread isn’t about Demi Lovato.
It’s about you. Do you feel heard? What makes you feel heard? When you don’t feel heard, why do you think that Is?
Sounds good. But I think it means different things to different people. Some people want to feel validated. Some people want to feel like they’re right about something. Some people want to feel respected. Some people want to have their idea discussed. And so on. .
That’s why the question of whether YOU (the generic you) feels heard, is different for everyone.
I think everyone wants respect as a person , this should be a given ,unless they have lost that respect by their own behaviour .
But people are not given respect so often they are treated differently because of false values ie social standing , age , wealth etc.
Also you get older you get more invisible and people don’t hear you either .
People are bombarded with so much from social media these days I wonder if anyone hears anything .
There must be so many people crying out for help whose voices are not heard .
Well, I’ve noticed lately that as I’m getting older I’m not heard as much at work
Lot’s of new ambitious youngsters, which is how it should be of course, who are my trainees. ( this will be my last batch of trainees before I retire, and I won’t be there to see them qualify)
I don’t know if it’s because I’ll soon be yesterdays news but getting this lot to shut up and listen is hard work!
It’s like an episode of the apprentice, they’re all mouth and competing
And then of course they mess up and have to come looking for help
So of course, being mean I say “Think back to what I told you on Tuesday when we discussed …. “
Interesting that you both mentioned age as a reason for not being heard. It’s not something I thought about when I posted the thread. That might be worth exploring in another thread. Thanks for the idea and the thought.
To be honest, the internet is the only place where I make any attempt to be heard, and I probably get more attention than I deserve, so I have no complaints, really.
People often complain of becoming “invisible” when they get old, but I can’t say that I’ve been aware of that.
For me personally, I differentiate attention and feeling heard. That’s the reason for the example of Demi Lovato. She gets a lot of attention but doesn’t feel heard. She probably gets more than her fair share of negative attention which to me, can sometimes feel like the opposite of feeling heard.
I am very familiar with getting attention but not being heard. I can’t remember if I’ve ever done it here, but I have at various times on other forums posted a serious argument or point of view about some particular subject. It doesn’t matter what lengths you go to in order to explain yourself as clearly as possible, people will still totally misinterpret what you say. It’s as if they’ve already made up their mind about your views on something before they have read them, and they shape your words into that preconception. It is enormously frustrating. I sometimes (often) get criticised for not taking things seriously, but I have learned from experience that there is just no point, because people don’t listen to you anyway.
To answer the question., “do I feel heard?” I do.
My friends, coworkers, committee members all seem to respond and respect my ideas. Over the years, the only time I felt ignored or overlooked was from my ex husband. That said, I found the solution.
I feel fortunate many in my circle of relationships admire my advice, knowledge of certain subjects, and the ability to keep an open mind about subjects I welcome more info about. Most of all, I can laugh at myself and admit mistakes.
