Not because you don’t care, but because they don’t care.
Staying around, trying to help someone who does not make any effort to help themselves can drag you down as well.
Let it go and retain your sanity.
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Someone told me once, that people who don’t care, teach you not to care (about them)
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The old saying:
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.
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I’ve never met anyone who has taken notice of my wisdom and sage advice.
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I am not sure, my youngest son refused to have paid driving lessons, insisted I teach him and ignored everything I said.
“I am not driving at 80kph on the expressway, it’s embarrassing”
“Don’t need to learn how to do a hill start it’s not part of the test”
“Well, there wasn’t was there?” When I said he went too fast round a blind corner where there could have been a broken down truck.
Even more irritatingly he passed first go.
On the bright side he had his car confiscated for 3 months for doing a wheelie in front of a police car under what were then the new “hoon” laws. On the down side it made him a hero, especially among girls, at his high school
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If the person you are trying to help shows no indication of ever accepting what you are offering, then it is time to let it go. Accept it for what it is – stay friends if that is possible – the ball is in their court now – it is up to them to initiate the changes in their life if that is that they desire. Stay on in a supportive role if you are able to, if not, then walk away otherwise it will begin to affect you.
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haha at Brucie babe
I just passed my driving test, no idea why he passed me was pretty much a bad drive …went straight into a Auto vehicle so was a bit not knowing what I was facing…was a soft top Triumph 2000 I think…So was on the busy Purley Way, was traffic hour and stopped at the lights and whilst stationary I rolled back the soft top…unbeing knowing to me I wandered forward into the car in front of me…luck would have it she was a friend!..no harm done just a little bump and we exchange niceties and went on our way …I was embarrassed though and have never forgotten that to this day…
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Zapped. 2mucho-info org.
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Yes time thieves are the worst, because although you can lose money and get it back you can never recover lost time.
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I think this applies very much to alcoholics
Sometimes the people who love them are enabling them and giving up on them and letting them hit rock bottom is better for both the alcoholic and the person trying to help them
Otherwise there’s a danger both lives get ruined
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Better to give up rather than fall out.
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My neighbour friend her husband was a alcoholic as was his cousin so spent a lot of time together…He was a fireman for many years but still an alcoholic and most weeks all his wages went in the Plough Pub in Beddington…he would spend rounds of drinks on so called mates…
One night Jenny got worried and my husband went out looking for him…the pubs had closed so no way was he in a pub…
When he came across him he was out of it…he had sh*te himself as well as wee’d himself …can you imagine the site and husband had to get him back home…the stench was bad enough but was like moving a dead weight…the scene when he went inside his abode was actually silent…Jenny was so pleased to see him that she just cried and cried…
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Never waste your time, effort and money on druggies, gamblers and alcoholics, no matter who they are. I speak from experience. They’ll lie, and they’ll say whatever they think you want to hear just to buy themselves a bit more time from your “nagging”. Save yourself years of pointless stress, keep your distance and just let them get on with it.
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My Father was an abusive alcoholic with diagnosed mental issues. Some people are beyond help and can’t see their own problems or the problems they cause to others, nor are they willing to accept help because in their eyes, they don’t need help.
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So true
Thank you Heatherbelle
Bless you
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So true Graham
Bury their heads in the sand 
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This is a tough one but I think for our own sanity we limit the time we spend with them or sadly, we have to cut some people out of our lives.
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I hope you won that argument.
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Some people become very attached to their own problems and can use this attachment to shield them from the reality of life and are too afraid of living a normal life. It’s usually an excuse, but rooted in extreme fear of the unknown/of change. It can be impossible to move someone from a state of terror into the uncomfortable territory of living without that fear. Someone who feels psychologically trapped is staring at a wall, kidding themselves that they have no options, when there is a door behind them but they refuse to turn around and walk through it.
It takes a truly unique person to speak the right language to get through to someone in such a situation. Even if they do many people are like a stuck record. They might move on only to go right back to square one when whatever trigger creates a similar anxiety.
I would say life is hard so if you are strong enough then help others as much as you can, but it’s important to know when to let go and walk away for your own sanity. Sometimes we sleepwalk in such situations and carry on helping or supporting someone for too long even when it’s clear that there is no hope in resolving their problems. Your energy might be put to use better in resolving your own.
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Nope, I didn’t win any argument over his driving.
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