…think I’mm getting a crick in my back Holmes - Watson retorted - “oh dear replied Holmes then hand me my almanac of Home Orthopeadics for the single man” and whilst your at it “internal decorating for the faint hearted” :shock::shock:
“No, no, no Holmes. Its not decorating the lady needs, its a builder who does exactly what he promises, and sticks to his word.
Unfortunately, we have not got any such person on our books, Sir.”
“And not likely to have either, Watson, no such thing you see,” smiled Holmes. :twisted:
“well never mind” replies Holmes “let’s change tack”,[ as he stands resplendent in his deer stalking hat stark nacked] - “pass me my Boys Own Annual for the Non-Lethal Extermination of Neigbourhood Cats” [alphabetically indexed]
sorry that should have read stacked naked or is it starch naked? - ever mind - you get the idea!
You’re a bad influence Gumbud!
purrrr - stroke me anytime Mups - it will get rid of your tension!:twisted:
I daren’t reply to that one.
Night night.
oh well off to bed without a stroke!! - spittie would say “I’ve had another lucky day!”
Oh dear Mups your vanishing workmen are enough to drive anyone insane…
Ive must admit Ive never had a plumber , builder central heating guy , kitchen fitter, roofer or car mechanic let me down but thats because I cheated and married him so he couldnt really let me down and get away with it.
It never ceases to amaze me what they get up to. We had a guy apply for a job at our company once. He started work but didnt supply his P45 and was a bit vague about his old boss but I tracked them down and phoned them asking for the P45 …They were shocked because they thought he was off sick with a bad back!
He did get his P45, from both companies…
I hope you sort out your sickly builder soon.
Blimey, that’s a bit drastic Cass. 
If I tried that with this one, he’d probably disappear again and leave me at the alter.
Thanks for the good wishes though. x
(p.s. going to view another bungalow tomorrow, no harm in looking around).
I do wonder why your having these problems, my first thought has always been that you live in an area that has plenty work but a shortage of tradesmen. Or is the job a small one, and they are making more money on larger works.
Have you tried casting your net a bit further away in the search to find a builder, perhaps the locals are busy, or members of the Bodgit and Scarper brigade, and cant handle the job.
I guess there is a lot of work around because people may be expanding rather than buying new due too current financial climate.
Or could it be you just intimidate the poor chaps, “Scary Mups”. I know i take the P a bit, but i hope you get things sorted.
[quote=“Nom, post: 678245”]
I do wonder why your having these problems, my first thought has always been that you live in an area that has plenty work but a shortage of tradesmen. Or is the job a small one, and they are making more money on larger works.
Have you tried casting your net a bit further away in the search to find a builder, perhaps the locals are busy, or members of the Bodgit and Scarper brigade, and cant handle the job.
I guess there is a lot of work around because people may be expanding rather than buying new due too current financial climate.
Or could it be you just intimidate the poor chaps, “Scary Mups”. I know i take the P a bit, but i hope you get things sorted.[/QUOTE]
Cheeky blighter, “Scary Mups” indeed. How could I intimidate? I’ll be up there to slap your legs with my newspaper.
You can take the P all you want m’duck, it shows you’re getting better. 
Hey, you’ll never believe this - this evening I had a phone call from the Runaway Builder. He said he was going to come and see me this evening, but - wait for it - his father messed his online shopping up, so he had to take him to the supermarket instead. You’ve got to hand it to him - that’s novel.
He asked if he could come and talk to me tomorrow lunchtime now instead.
Now don’t shout at me - but I said ok. I am intrigued to hear his story.
Just a thought - you don’t tell them ya Mrs Mups do ya??
“watson” exclaimed Holmes - do you remember that bewildering case of the “House that scared builders away”?
yes holmes did you ever solve that one - well let me see now hand me down that file “unsolved mysteries”
Ah yes here it is ‘the house that turned away perfectly healthy workers [and turned them ill]’
Ah yes - perfectly healthy workers would enter the house or even just telephone and then were cut down by obsure and un-related illnesses!
what was the name of the old biddie who lived there Holmes? asked Watson.
let me see if I can recall from memory was it cups, frups, hiccoups, mups, pups, sups, tups, wups [a daisy] yups - no it’s gone Watson and damn it I never wrote it down !:shock::shock:
Im saying nowt, but i am grinning.
“Ah, but The old biddie never could stand spineless men Holmes.
I know if you offered me a job for many thousands of pounds, I’d be there like a shot, Sir.”
“Then it must be something in the air in that area, Watson. Something that makes men forgetful, gormless, liars, and masters of deceipt. I think she would be better off moving away, there is nothing else she can do. All men in that area will be afflicted thus.”
Well at least you’ve woke up cheerful - I haven’t.
I am going to lock this man in today (unless he goes missing again), have a weapon ready, then sit on him until he tells me the truth.
I’m off to warn his family he could be very late home.
“Aha! Holmes, I’ve got it! This is all part of the Big Deception designed to move that Mups out. They even used a CAT in the plan…”
Oh No :shock: Why didn’t I see that!
The council just phoned me this morning, and they want to come next Tuesday and fit a ‘noise monitor’ in my bedroom to record the cat’s night time frolics.
BTW, are you sure you don’t want another dog? I’m sure Bennie would like a friend. This morning, young Nellie has just demolished my doorstop then celebrated by pinching my nightie off the washing line and rushing around with it, with utter glee. She’s going to get her bum smacked before the day’s out, I can see it coming . .
Methinks if Nellie doesn’t have a doghouse she is about to get one…