Following on from my ‘Useful sites’ thread I wondered if many members asked their family for practical help - or do it yourself - or pay a professional?
If you can still ‘do it yourself’ that’s brilliant - but a lot of us can’t!
Except for very minor things I tend to get in tradesmen.
I don’t like asking the family. They are always so busy & I can tell by the look on their faces they don’t really want to take time to give me any practical help - except for in an emergency of course - or something trivial.
I have a friend who is quite well off but she expects her family to do all the practical jobs around the house for her even if she has to wait 6 months! I tell her to get a tradesman in & spend some of her money but her attitude is that it’s her kids duty to do it for her…
I just wondered if members on here get much help from their offspring?
Honest unless it’s a really big job like major building work or plastering (can’t do plastering) we do stuff ourselves.The day will certainly come when it’s not possible …when it does I wouldn’t expect my kids to do it…they have full time jobs and families…I would get tradesmen in then
I am the same as summer, anything major I get a professional in, we had our kitchen done last year which included running extra cables and changing the fuse box, jobs I could have done myself, but , I couldn’t get them signed off and certificated, so I called in a sparky, we’ve just replaced several fence panels in our back garden, I did this job myself ( with the help of Mrs,p and no 1 son) including shortening a couple of panels, I’m starting to notice my body telling me I can’t do these things anymore, plus , we’re at a stage where we can afford to pay someone else to do it….
I very seldom ask my son for practical help, because I’m still able to do most practical tasks myself, have been doing so for the last 30 yrs or so, if I was unable to carry them out, then I know he would pay for me to hire a cleaner.
The only time I really needed his help practically, was after my heart operation, he was a blessing to me at that time.
I would do most minor things by myself, but for big jobs (like plastering etc) I would get someone in.
That’s like having kids purely to look after you in your old age. Children are not your staff…if she has the money, she should pay for someone to do the work
I can do most small jobs myself but will pay someone to do larger ones. I don’t tend to ask my sons for help because as Pixie says I didn’t have kids to look after me in my old age! However, if they see that I need help with something they will always offer - for example I am about to put a large pine table into the garage to be collected at a later date by BHF and my elder son has offered to lift it for me. He had arranged to visit me tomorrow anyway so he is not making a special journey. I intend to remain independent for as long as I possibly can.
We try to do stuff ourselves, but what we can’t do we get someone in. I wouldn’t dream of asking my son to do things for us - he works hard and deserves what free time he has to live his own life. Our daughter? Hmm, well she’s probably the most impractical person I know - most of the time it’s us doing stuff for her
In all fairness to my friend who expects her kids to do jobs for her - she has been good to them in the past.
She’s lent & given them money.
She’s paid for them to go on numerous holidays abroad with her & her hubby.
When they’ve had babies she’s always bought a pram & cot - for all six of the grandchildren.
Is it really wrong for her to expect practical help from them now?
we’ve always done practical jobs ourselves, I always did the decorating, but now we would get someone in to do them. we’re both in our late 70’s and just can’t do the jobs we used to. If our family think we’re needing something done, they always offer …
Carol, I apologise if I seemed too quick to criticise her. I just got the impression from your post that there was an “expectancy” about her to have her kids run to help her whenever she asks. If she has been a good parent, then its not too much to ask for a few favours in return
I have a friend who is quite well off but she expects her family to do all the practical jobs around the house for her even if she has to wait 6 months! I tell her to get a tradesman in & spend some of her money but her attitude is that it’s her kids duty to do it for her…
I just wondered if members on here get much help from their offspring?
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Pauline’s answer to Carol.
Your friend has her own family dynamics on what she expects from her family…so I would personally respect that…and not question her on it.
It’s not my own idea of family dynamics, but that doesn’t matter…because it’s none of my business…that’s between her and her family.
We do as much as we can ourselves. Mr M cannot use ladders now so I use it instead but my limit is step ladders not long ladders! I use the step ladder a few weeks ago to cut our hedge, we have the extending shears that makes it easier trimming the top. I also still do the wallpapering … although I admit I found it a bit of a struggle last year.
Yep. Never would have expected that asking my daughter to clean the bathroom as a favour would cost me a day out driving to York to help her pick up her new car. Quid pro QUO
Apparently, getting my brother to help me hang a door in our parent’s old house (from which he benefitted too in terms of subsequent rental income and selling the house a few years later) meant that I was thus duty bound to drive to his house (about 100 miles from my home) a few months later to plaster a ceiling and install the wet work of a bathroom.
Edit - naturally I had to pay for my own petrol and go halves on the takeaway.
…too funny, Dex.