I am not saying children should be seen and not heard - but I do find it strange how some parents allow them to rule the roost and give in to bad behaviour. Three examples:-
Saturday - In the Post Office - young mother deep in conversation with a friend. Boy, about 5 or 6yrs old, kept poking her arm saying ‘I want sweeties’ over and over again almost like a mantra - increasing in volume each time. Young mother breaks off conversation - gives boy a packet of sweets!! If he were mine - he would have been sent to wait by the door and not seen sweets for a week.
Lesson learned - I must always be the centre of attention!
Saturday - In the mini mart - young mother and three small children aged between 4 and 6 yrs old - rummaging in the freezer for something for their evening meal. Children all wanted something completely different and would not compromise. Mother gives in - buys three separate meals. No way would that have happened when I was a child. We were expected to eat what we were given. If there was something on our plate that we genuinely did not like - it could be left to one side. (Obviously I recognise allergies/dietary needs etc.,)
Lesson learned - I must always have my own way!
Monday - passing village school at starting time. Was astonished by how many parents were carrying their children’s backpack/school bag while the children haply ran amok all over the pavement on scooters or bicycles. At the school gates the bags were handed over and the parents then carried the scooters/bicycles home again! If we took anything to school we were expected to carry it there ourselves and look after it until we came home. If, in the mean time, it was lost, broken or stolen - tough - don’t expect a replacement. It is called responsibility.
Lesson learned - My parents must indulge my every wish.
I just find it all very odd and wonder what sort of adults these over indulged children will grow into.
I think some parents give into bad behaviour so as not to cause a scene in public, I’ve done the same when my boys were young, then had a good word with them when I got them home.
I was a single parent most of their lives, I did the best I could, no disrespect ST, but it wasn’t easy being a parent, I try not to judge other mothers, but I think we have all done it.
We have all had different parenting and learn from them, my mother brought me up to wait on the men in the household, I have tried to, break that habit, so far haven’t been able to.
I know exactly what you mean Tabby, but I suspect that many parents give children what they want rather than teach them why what they do is wrong… they think it takes less time.
Of course it is the easier option, at the time, but it teaches the children poor manners and as they get older they believe that they can have whatever they want… but the parents need to learn, not the children.
!. Giving sweets when they demand them means the children are likely to become obese, so now schools have to tell parents their kids are obese!
2. Letting them choose what they want to eat means that many do not get nutritionally balanced meals, so now there are TV ads to encourage them to eat fruit and veg.
3. The roads at my local primary school are unsafe because there are so many parked cars, but if a child on a scooter got hurt I wonder how many parents would accept responsibility if it was their child?
I always think that a child is precious, so shouldn’t parents explain to them why they can’t have their own way with everything & give them reasons why!
Teaching should always begin at home from an early age!
It is an example pure and simple of bad parenting and I’d hazard a guess that most are female single parents. My four children would not have even attempted to behave in such a way and my grandchildren are the same. It’s all about discipline and I do not mean hitting any of them; just a look from me was enough and bad behaviour stopped instantly.
I think its for a quiet life really…its better than arguing in the street with a fractious child. What still amazes me is around Christmas and birthdays, after they get presents, they still trawl round the shops asking for more stuff!
Summer being with grandparents is usually a treat for kids, but it isn’t all the time so that is OK.
The fact that your kids don’t like you spoiling theirs, means that they are bringing them up the same way you brought them up.
A friends little boy fell off a tree at my place & got nettle rash, so I put some soothing cream on him.Next day I got a “thank you” note pushed through my cat flap from him.
A week later I told his mum how polite he had been & she knew nothing about what had happened, so i asked her not to tell him off for climbing trees as I didn’t think he would do it again .
He is 17 now & still gives me a hug when i see him.
Some parents want friends, not children. Children require more support & care than some parents are prepared to give.
I used to be a residential social worker at a childrens home. Most children in residential care are the ones that cannot be placed into foster care etc, as they either intentionally break it up, or because their behaviour is such that they need professional support.
We were a small team & faced many challenging situations, but our children. Who were mostly there long term & thus, largely a stable group. We’re on the whole great & we managed in the main to avoid most dramas.
I think the parents who indulge their kids like that will live to regret it. The more you give the wee br, er I mean wee angels,the more they will demand.
I and my sisters were only told the once and we knew well if we had to be told again, we’d not be sitting down for a while. I wonder if those days will ever come back.
I don’t think they will Rox !
A small smack on the hand or leg lets young children know they have gone too far and as they get older they learn to listen if they don’t want to be smacked again.
Sadly some people don’t know the difference between a smack and a beating so, thanks to the more brutal people, corporal punishment was stopped in schools & by children’s parents.
I can’t remember ever being punished at school as I was a good girl… maybe because I knew that my mum and dad would soon find a way to punish me that was much worse… like not playing out for a week.
Once you teach small children to respect those in charge they soon learn that it is better to just listen to the rules… if they don’t they have to suffer the punishment given!
I would add :-
8. Pocket money had to be earned by doing chores - laying the table for meals or washing up after meals etc., It was given once per week on Saturday mornings and when it was gone - it was gone.
Generally these indulged children who get whatever they want at home are the ones who disrupt classes in school too. If children aren’t taught boundaries at home they won’t accept boundaries in school.
