General friendship, when would one see something as a warning flag to back off, versus to forgive and move on? I’m having a hard time moving on from being told “I dont want to see you this weekend” to being super nice back to normal the next day. Everyone is entitled to bad days I get that. I’m getting old and everyone is, I dont think its too much to expect old friends to not act that way, but do we turn backwards and act more childish as we age? I’m no where close to perfect and letting go baggage is an issue. I get that.
Do you usually forgive and forget or would it be smarter to pass by and move on?
I CANT see you instead of I Don’t want to see you , would have been acceptable .
Maybe just came out wrong … Absent mindedness .
If it was a friend I’ll give them the benefit of a doubt.
I don’t have time for the complexities of friendship, so I don’t have many friends.
The ones I do have I will check up on perhaps once in a blue moon, more likely that they will check up on me. Good neighbours are the closest I get to friends, and the good people on the forum…But I can turn them off if I want some space…
I like the title of thread,although I didn’t know what it meant until I read on.
I think girls do friends more than boys,some even from their school days.I don’t think us chaps do so much of that sort of thing.I don’t anyway.
He was a best friend at one time. People change. But agreed, what you said, I’ve been preaching to my daughters :), although in my younger days I thought guys were the best as friends, much less drama.
a quick update, I was told off yesterday “don’t go there” and “stop”, not able to finish even one sentence when that started. I think I gave it a good chance. I had work issues this morning and can’t handle that without communication or the ability to talk, there is no relations of any kind worth that kind of interaction. I dont think i’ve had anyone say either to me before.
People become more sensitive to criticism, grumpy, have life problems, have health problems, may have financial problems, all sorts of things that might stop them wanting to see their friends when their friends want to see them once they reach a certain age. We all become more sensitive to slights but less sensitive to the impact of our own behaviour. I’m sure this is just a natural part of ageing. The important thing is not to take things personally if a friendship is valuable you can forgive and forget. Good friends can have mental health problems, social phobia or depression. Even a thyroid issue can make people behave erratically. There are so many reasons. I leave people to it and wait for them to get in touch if they want to. I think everyone deserves a chance but if they do it too often then I move on.
I agree with Ripple who said the friend probably just worded it badly - If she meant I cant see you this weekend or even something like I’m having a bad day/ not feeling well, need some alone time etc so I’d rather not catch up today that is OK, we don’t always want t o catch up with someone at the same time they want to catch u p with us. and we shouldn’t take that as a personal slight.
