@Bretrick Headlines 
Mothership Returns. The experiment is over, so prepare to return from whence you came.
This was the message received by all major broadcasters yesterday, with the follow up of Everyone will be collected over 7 days with their day of birth being their day of collection. Resistance will be futile as choice is not an option.
This final action is long overdue in my opinion 
BREAKING NEWS>>>>>>>>>
A Doncaster cat owner narrowly missed out on a world record this morning by a whisker.
The man known locally as Old Grey Fox missed the record by 34 seconds recording a time of 1 hour 19 minutes 39 seconds and failed to better a time of 1 hour 19 minutes and 5 seconds which he himself set on Thursday of last week. The thrice weekly run is over a scenic 8.2 mile course which takes runners past a quaint little village that nobody has heard of and three canal bridges. Pace makers were used on this mornings attempt when a hare leaped out from the verge and proceeded to set the pace over a short quarter mile stretch before returning once more to the safety of the hedgerow. Further down the quiet country road a Squirrel took on the job of pacemaker but kept to the fence and finally scuttled off up a tree. Several spectators witnessed the attempt including a Partridge, Pheasant, three baby rabbits, several Blackbirds and a procession of Rooks who are currently residing in the treetops close to the Norman Church in the village that nobody has heard of. Amid whistles and clucks he eventually crossed the finish line where, after regaining his breath, was quoted as saying: “ I’ve been training all year for this attempt, even adding sprints to my training runs, which seem to be paying off because times have been consistently good over the last few weeks it’s only a matter of time before I smash that record. Poor times last year were caused by a troublesome Bunion that I believe was caused by being a member of the EU"
Todays attempt would have been valid as all the canal bridges remained open and even the traffic lights and level crossing were all clear.
WARNING: Running after two Heart Attacks should never be undertaken without the approval of a Doctor, or alternatively Delusions of Immortallity.
