It is serious flaw of nature that the lipids that once made my complexion soft and supple have abandoned my desiccated face to attend a permanent party around my hips.
Those in charge of human design research and development blew it, and I would appreciate my money back as well as a letter of apology. If a new model is available for replacement, that would even be better.
I am off to dinner and if I was more thoughtful towards the general public, I would be wearing a ski mask - and a girdle. 
Have a nice evening!
