Oh go on then, just for you…
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Time to check out the totty — er, I mean, strong female characters — in the Trekverse. More than possibly any other science-fiction series, Star Trek has some really important female characters, even a captain of a starship. The first sf series I think to really push women to the forefront, Trek has led the way in redefining the role of women, not only in science-fiction but in drama too. The days when all women did in drama was scream or be terrified or saved by the hero are long gone, and Trek has led the way in abolishing that stereotype.
Lieutenant Uhura, played by Nichelle Nichols
Of course perhaps one of the most important, certainly one of the first African-American women to be given a role of any substance on television drama, Uhura was the feisty Swahili who, er, manned the switchboard on the original USS Enterprise. Really, to an extent I don’t understand why her role is so trumpeted and celebrated: she was nothing more than a glorified telephone operator and receptionist who took Kirk’s calls. “What? You’ll have to speak up. Cling what? Oh: Klingon! Sorry? No, I’m afraid the Captain is not available for — what did you say again? — man to man combat to prove who is the greater leader? No, I’m sorry, he’s currently living in an alternate existence where he moves so fast we can barely make him out as more than an insect’s buzz. Perhaps I can pencil you in for next Thursday? No? You have a planet to conquer. I see. Hmm. Monday week? That’s fine then. I’ll put it in his diary.”
In reality, much of the dialogue Uhura had was along the lines of “Message coming in for you Captain”, or “Hailing frequencies open Sir.” It was only in the movies she got to really step outside her predefined role and actually act a bit. Nevertheless, for the time I suppose it was a big step for her not to be making the synth-coffee, so there is that. Roddenberry’s ideas of equality for women though didn’t stretch to how they were dressed, as every woman on the Enterprise for most of the series wore very short skirts and FMBs. Uhura will however always be known as half of the very first ever interracial kiss on television, though the episode in which this occurs, “Plato’s Stepchildren”, was banned for many years, mostly for this very reason but also because of the rather graphic for the time allusions to torture.
Uhura served on the Enterprise from the first episode after the real pilot (she wasn’t there for “The Cage” either) and remained there till the end, carrying on to reprise her role in all the movies starring the original Trek crew. As a result of her portrayal of the character Nichelle Nichols got to meet Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who convinced her to stay on, after she had been considering leaving the show, telling her that she was an icon and a beacon for black Americans. Her role inspired Whoopi Goldberg to test out for the role of Guinan in TNG, but you can’t have everything.
Interestingly, of the few female characters on TOS, Uhura generally did not get treated like a woman, as in, she was not comforted, ignored, laughed at or harassed. Perhaps because of her role, or because she was black and therefore seen to be tough (or because the studio didn’t wish to shoot themselves in the foot by featuring a black actress and then downplaying her significance) she was generally respected and treated almost as one of the boys. She did occasionally get to go planetside, but not very often. She seems to have had a sort of crush on Kirk, as she says in the aforementioned “Plato’s Stepchilden” that he always made her feel safe, always seemed to know what to do, always in command.
Uhura’s character was ported into the reboot of the franchise from 2009, and played by Zoe Saldana.
Note: Since I originally wrote this the world has had to live without Nichelle Nichols in it, as more and more of the stars go the way of all flesh, as will be seen in the next post. However, though she may have passed on to whatever reward awaits her beyond this life, Nichols as Uhura was an integral part of the original series, set down a marker for young girls hoping to be actresses, gave hope to black would-be actresses, and brought a calmness and quiet sexuality to her role that has seldom been equalled. In that very real sense, she was, and is, and always will be immortal.
Hailing frequencies closed, Captain.
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That ‘original’ pilot is probably the reason Pike popped up in Discovery and then got his own series.
I like Strange New Worlds and a Trek fan on another forum(I’ve given her the link to this thread)and I agree it’s quite faithful to the original Star Trek series.
I am thinking that in due course we may end up with a new Kirk series.
The films have been there so it could happen.
You never know.
He Was Spock:
A Personal Tribute to the Late Leonard Nimoy, 1931- 2015
The world was shocked and saddened to hear of the death late last month* of Leonard Nimoy, world famous as the actor who brought the Vulcan Spock to the screen, and into our hearts, via our favourite programme. Nimoy had been diagnosed with COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease), brought about through smoking, though he had quit thirty years prior. He had been hospitalised over the months before his death, on and off, but Friday February 27 was to be his final day on Earth. He passed away in his Bel Air, Los Angeles home early in the morning at the age of eighty-three.
Many tributes have of course been and will probably continue to be offered, and mine is a grain of sand beside the thoughts of those who knew him, worked with him and loved him, but I could hardly let this tragic and momentous event pass without attempting my own poor eulogy to, and retrospective of the man who became famous (incorrectly) for having no emotions, but who was one of the warmest, kindest and loved human beings on this planet. As fellow actor William Shatner would say of his friend at the end of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan: “Of all of the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most human.”
Whereas some of the tributes have glanced perhaps a little disrespectfully back to less than salubrious aspects of Nimoy’s life — his woeful albums, his early acting parts — I don’t wish to pursue that route. Instead, my intention is to speak a little of his early life as I have read about it, and follow his career through the Star Trek franchise. So no mention of Bilbo Baggins, Mission: Impossible or Three Men and a Baby, which, while all worthy efforts (well, apart from the first) and of which he was surely and justifiably proud, lead us away from the role for which he attained world fame, and for which he will always be remembered. He wrote two autobiographies, one titled I Am Not Spock, the other admitting I Am Spock, and he always would, and will be Spock to us.
Born in 1931 to Jewish parents in Boston, he quickly caught the acting bug and had minor roles in many of the big series of the time, including The Twilight Zone, Bonanza and Wagon train, but it was in a series called The Lieutenant that he caught the eye of a young producer of westerns and cop shows, who was looking for actors to take part in his new science-fiction series. Gene Roddenberry had to fight hard to retain Nimoy’s character on Star Trek, after the main pilot has been turned down by Paramount and the second pilot accepted, but on the advice that he should drop Spock. The only character (although not the only actor) to survive from the original pilot “The Cage”, Spock quickly established himself as a fan favourite and gave the new series a hook. It wasn’t just humans dashing around the galaxy after aliens: Star Trek had an alien on board, and in a position of command too: Spock was Science Officer and also First Officer on the USS Enterprise.
Nimoy’s character provided much background and story material, with an early episode, “The Menagerie”, one of only two two-part episodes (including the original pilot) and which harked back to “The Cage”, showing how dedicated he was to his former commanding officer, to the extent of risking court martial to engineer Pike’s return to Talos IV. Spock’s nerve pinch also singled him out as someone special, and tied in to the idea that his race were extremely non-violent. It of course became a favourite game in the playground or schoolyard; just as kids in the UK were dashing around pretending to be daleks, their US counterparts (and soon, over here too) were neck-pinching each other, and telling each other to “Live long and prosper.”
The cold, logical character of Spock was leavened by Leonard Nimoy’s attempts to bring some humour and warmth to the role, from a simple raising of one eyebrow to a well-chosen retort at his eternal debate nemesis, Dr. McCoy, or even on occasion losing control over his emotions completely, as he did at the end of “Amok Time” and during “This Side of Paradise”. Played as it had been written originally, Spock might have been a dull, even boring character but between Roddenberry and himself they imbued the emotion-avoiding Vulcan with often more humanity than many of his shipmates. They even gave him a love interest: Nurse Christine Chapel, played by Majel Barrett, who had also survived from the pilot albeit in a new role, was in love with the enigmatic and distant Vulcan, and though he rebuffed her advances all through the series, he did once come close to giving in to his feelings.
Spock’s command abilities, as well as his ability to somehow transcend the limits of his Vulcan logic, would be put to the test in season one’s “The Galileo Seven”, where, trapped in a shuttlecraft and running out of fuel, unable to make it back to the Enterprise he throws the dice, plays a hunch as McCoy later gleefully describes it, and manages to have everyone saved. In “This Side of Paradise”, as briefly mentioned above, Spock, along with the rest of the crew, falls victim to alien spores on a planet they visit, which removes all inhibition and allows him to give in to his emotions. It is only cold, Vulcan mathematics and logic that bring him back from the edge and allow him to help Kirk cure the crew. In the celebrated episode “The City On the Edge of Forever”, he uses his mind-melding powers to allow his captain to forget meeting and falling in love with Edith Keeler, proving there is some humanity in him.
But Spock was never a full Vulcan. His mother was a human from Earth, and so there was scope within the character for him to explore that side of his nature, something others of his people had never, and would never do. It made him somewhat unique, and Trek would revisit this premise later with a half-human, half-Klingon woman in Star Trek Voyager. Season two of the series would open with “Amok Time”, cataloguing how difficult it was for Vulcans to be away from home when the mating instinct struck, and how helpless they were and how their behaviour and attitudes changed as their ancient instincts surfaced unbidden and had to be dealt with. Soon after we would be introduced to a very different Spock, in the episode “Mirror, Mirror”, in which the crew enter an alternate dimension where the Federation — under the name the Empire — is a cruel and repressive force, and Spock, sporting a beard, is a man who tries to balance his own distaste for violence with the exigencies of survival in this brutal world. He is eventually given the chance to change things, something which plays out in later “Mirror universe” episodes of Deep Space 9.
In “Journey to Babel” we meet for the first time Spock’s father, Sarek, Vulcan ambassador, and learn that he opposed his son’s enlisting in Starfleet. This is a thread which will continue throughout Spock, and Sarek’s life, until it is finally resolved in the fourth movie. Sadly, season three would open with one of the worst Trek episodes ever (yeah, even worse than “Fair Haven”!) as we would have to endure “Spock’s Brain”, the series hitting its lowest point since previous season two’s “The Omega Glory”. However he would quickly be redeemed in the next episode, as he fell in love — or seemed to — for the very first time on his own terms with a Romulan sub-commander in “The Enterprise incident”. In this episode we would learn that contrary to belief, Spock had a first name, but as he tells his lover, revealing his deception, “You could not pronounce it.”
In the episode “Is There In Truth No Beauty” he would sacrifice himself for his shipmates, making direct mental contact with the deadly Medusan ambassador, and being rendered temporarily blind for his pains. Spock certainly believed in the axiom he would later espouse in the movies, that the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few, and would often put this into practice, reasoning that to put one person in danger in order to save many more was always the most logical course. He would be forced to express his emotions against his will, and act as the torture puppet of the Platonians in “Plato’s Stepchildren”, one of the episodes banned for many years for both its almost-graphic depictions of torture and its being the first example on television of a multiracial kiss.
We rarely see Spock relax in the series, or have any downtime, but in “The Way to Eden” we learn that not only can he play the Vulcan lyre, he is also aware of and versed in the counterculture of the space hippies who are taken onboard Enterprise and who eventually try to take over the ship. His empathy with, and understanding of their ideals makes him a good go-between when Kirk’s authority is flatly rejected. Spock meets a facsimile of Surak, the father of Vulcan philosophy and the man seen as the saviour of their race in “The Savage Curtain”, while he again falls in love but has to leave his lover behind when she is unable to come with him back to his own time in “All Our Yesterdays”, the penultimate episode of the series.
With the cancellation of Star Trek in 1969, Leonard Nimoy joined the cast of, as mentioned briefly, Mission: Impossible, but his own mission impossible was to be the attempt to leave behind the character who had, at that time, been his constant companion for nearly four years. He lent his voice to the later, short-lived Star Trek: The Animated Series and when the natural successor to the original series came along, he was convinced to guest star as Spock — this time an ambassador, as his father had been — in the two-part fifth-season episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation’s “Unification”. In this, an older, wiser Spock is trying desperately to reunite the ancient cousins the Romulans and the Vulcans, but it all turns out to be for nothing.
With the advent of the first Star Trek movie, Nimoy reprised his role, but this time as a much sterner, less emotional and almost totally without humour Spock, although he thaws a little towards the end. Poorly received, both by critics and fans, it would be the second movie that would write the next chapter in the Spock story, while attempting to bring it to a complete close. Tired of playing the character and being typecast (leading to his first autobiography being titled I Am Not Spock!) Nimoy agreed that Spock should be killed off, but he had expected it to happen at the beginning of the movie, in a low-key way, and for it to be permanent. In fact, he only agreed to play the part on that basis. When the script was rewritten however, and he saw how much of an impact his death could have on not only the movie but the fans and his own role, he was much more sanguine about it.
Fan uproar over the leaked details of his death though led to his resurrection being pencilled in, and Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan became the first in a very successful trilogy of movies, spanning one story arc which basically told the story of Spock’s death, rebirth and return over the course of three blockbuster films. For the third movie, The search for Spock, Nimoy wanted to direct, and as he was not in it very much this was not a problem, and his direction was so inspired that he was to take the chair again for the fourth movie. This would, of course, lead to his directing other movies, outside of the franchise, but as I said at the beginning I’m not going to cover them here. Nimoy starred in two more Trek movies before the franchise moved on, with the seventh concerning the “new” crew of TNG and all the original actors signing off over the end credits of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, so that there was no doubt that this was their swansong.
And so it was. Nimoy joined the cast of sci-fi series Fringe, but when Star Trek was rebooted in 2009 with a new movie and a whole new cast, he was asked to return as an older, “future” Spock for the movie and did so. He retired from acting the following year, but broke that rule to again play the role of Spock one last time in the second “reboot” movie, the perhaps tragically prophetically titled Star Trek: Into Darkness, in 2013. It would of course be the last time any of us ever saw Spock on the screen again.
For over forty years Leonard Nimoy portrayed a character who came to be so inextricably linked, not only with Star Trek but with science-fiction and the future in general, that he has now passed into the shared consciousness of this world, and will never be forgotten. The calm, unblinking, coldly logical alien who could sometimes be more human than humans themselves, and always seemed to have that slight spark in his eyes as Leonard Nimoy peeked out from behind them, will always be in our memory. If there are three words that define Star Trek, even to those who have never seen it, they are Kirk, Enterprise and Spock.
In closing, I would like to quote you the words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, quoted on the inner sleeve of the Hawkwind album Church of Hawkwind: Lives of great men remind us we can make our lives sublime, and so departing leave behind us footsteps on the sands of time.
Thank you, Leonard, for such wonderful memories, and for teaching us things that often school, and even life could not. It’s not true to say that everything I learned I learned from Star Trek, but a hell of a lot I did, and it was all good. Your long Trek is over, my friend, may you rest in peace.
Live long, and prosper, in our memories and in our hearts.
- At the time this was originally written
I’ve watched every single fan-made and official continuation (not all episodes, of course, but for a later major article) and I’ve come to the conclusion that the most faithful is Star Trek Continues. The guy playing Kirk must have studied him for years. He sounds like him, looks like him, has all his gestures down perfectly. I was incredibly impressed.
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As much as we’ve laughed at some of what I consider to be the poorer episodes in the franchise (plenty more to come!) the bulk of the episodes were really good, and a lot of them were actually great. This would of course have to be the case, otherwise even the original series would not have survived, and Star Trek as a whole contains some of the very best science-fiction, and indeed drama, writing, on television. Some episodes of course stand out head and shoulders above others, and these will be the ones I’ll be looking at here in this section. The times when the writing was spot-on, the acting perfect; plots that moved on or developed an overarching storyline or else stood alone but stood out from the crowd in so doing. The times when you would look at the series and say, yeah, this is what it’s all about. The times you would be proud to be a fan, and wonder what would come next. The times when the series rewarded its viewers and justified its presence on the air. In other words, the times they completely
Title: The Best of Both Worlds, Part One
Series: TNG
Season: Three
Writer(s): Michael Piller
Main character(s): Picard, Riker
Plot: The feared enemy the Enterprise briefly encountered in the previous season’s “Q Who”, the relentless Borg, find their way to the Alpha Sector and begin destroying planets as they harvest lifeforms to assimilate. When the Federation opposes them, they assimilate Captain Picard and make him their tactical leader.
Forever the very best episode of TNG — perhaps of all the series — this episode reintroduced us to the Borg, a synthetic, robotic lifeform who all operate as one, like a beehive. They cannot be reasoned with, they cannot be bargained with, they cannot be defeated. Their ships are huge floating computers in the shape of massive cubes, and they begin to regenerate as soon as they take damage, as the Borg drones set about repairing their vessel. “The Best of Both Worlds” is a two part episode, one of only a handful in TNG, but I prefer the first part as it builds up the tension; at first, we don’t know quite what’s happening on the colony that has been attacked, although this is a mystery that is quickly solved. Then there’s the rivalry between Riker and Shelby, who plans to replace him after he has taken command of the new ship he has been offered, but he refuses the promotion.
We also get our first proper look at the inside of a Borg cube, near the end, and learn a little more about them when we see a Borg baby already hooked up to a computer. But our biggest shock is of course the assimilation of Picard, which ends the episode, and the season, as “Locutus of Borg” orders the Enterprise to surrender and escort them to Earth, Riker preparing to fire on the Borg cube.
Rating (could there be any other?): 
Title: Devil in the Dark
Series: TOS
Season: One
Writer(s): Gene L. Coon
Main character(s): Kirk, Spock
Plot: Something is killing miners on Janus VI and the Enterprise is sent there to investigate. It turns out to be a creature who can burrow through solid rock, but there is a twist in the tale.
There’s so much I love about this episode. One of the first eco-friendly episodes, it takes the whole idea of a ruthless, savage attack and turns it completely on its head. From the title, we’re led to believe that what is on this planet is a horrible, deadly beast that wants to kill, but what we end up with is a mother fiercely protecting her young, and when unable to and they die, avenging them. Spock comes into his own here, the only one capable or open-minded enough to realise that the Horta may not be simply blindly killing, and he initiates a Vulcan mind meld with it — I believe this is only the second time the telepathic communication is used — to divine its intentions, eventually creating the framework for a peaceful and profitable coexistence between the miners and the aliens. Even the name of the planet is well chosen — Janus being the two-faced god of the Romans, and this episode certainly having two sides to its story. The central theme, that we need not always judge a book by its cover and should seek violence only as a last resort, was one that Star Trek in its many incarnations returned to time and again.
Rating:
Title: Living Witness
Series: VOY
Season: Four
Writer(s): Brannon Braga, Bryan Fuller and Joe Menosky
Main character(s): The Doctor
Plot: An alien museum in the future hosts an exhibition about Voyager, but it has all its facts terribly skewed. When the Doctor’s program is found and rerun, he sets the record straight but causes controversy as he challenges long-held beliefs.
As ever in this series, it’s an episode with the Doctor or Seven (occasionally both) that proves how good Voyager could be when they really tried. This episode truly stands out, even if its main premise is somewhat hijacked from Babylon 5’s “The Deconstruction of Falling Stars”. Robert Picardo puts in as ever a flawless performance and proves that, like or even sometimes superceding Data, a non-human lifeform can often by more human than an actual one. Although he is only, in this episode, a backup copy of a hologrammatic simulation of a real man, he is still worried about the consequences revealing the actual truth about Voyager and the part the peoples of this planet played in its story will cause, and even at one point accepts he may be tried as a war criminal rather than bring this evidence to light.
Rating:
Title: The Visitor
Series: DS9
Season: Four
Writer(s): Michael Taylor
Main character(s): Jake Sisko
Plot: A young girl, a student who is considering a career in writing, arrives to speak to the reclusive writer, Jake Sisko, who is now quite old. When asked why he only wrote the one novel, Jake relates the tale of how his father died in a freak accident, or so they had thought. In fact, Sisko was trapped in an alternate dimension and Jake has spent the next few decades trying to bring him back. At the end, he realises he must die in order to save his father. The current timeline is erased when Sisko, on Jake’s advice, manages to avoid the discharge that “killed” him originally. It’s a beautiful little episode, based on a feeling of “what if” and showing the depth of love between the boy and his father. Tony Todd shines in the role of elder Jake. Given all the Dominion stuff going on from season 4 onward, this is a quiet, personal but extremely poignant and powerful episode that shows why DS9 was regarded as the most mature and creative of the entire franchise.
Rating:
Title: Darmok
Series: TNG
Season: Five
Writer(s): Joe Menosky, Phillip LaZebnik
Main character(s): Picard
Plot: When the Enterprise encounters a race with whom communication appears to be impossible, Picard is transported to a nearby planet by the captain of the alien vessel, and they try to figure each other out, while also teaming up against a savage alien monster that plagues the planet.
An incredible example of how words are not always necessary for communication, somewhat similar in tone to season two’s “Loud as a Whisper”. With gestures, hints and examples Picard learns enough of the language of his adversary to realise that he is not after all being challenged to single combat, but to stand with the alien captain against the monster on the planet. His attempts to understand what is going on, and the denouement, when he eventually returns to the ship and is able to converse with the aliens, are worth watching the episode for alone. A great character piece for Stewart, and the alien captain, played by Paul Winfield, does brilliantly as he tries to explain his language to the annoying human who insists on misinterpreting everything.
Rating: 
Name: Risa
Alignment: Neutral, but a member of the Federation
Home to: Risian culture
Capital city: Nuvia
Orbital star: Epsilon Ceti B
If Ferenginar is a place you wouldn’t maroon your worst enemy, Risa is where the in-crowd go. Officially the holiday planet, it is able to boast controlled weather, which means that there are no nasty surprises waiting for you and you can be guaranteed a good holiday. Risa is also one of the most beautiful planets in the galaxy, having such features as Suraya Bay, where the villas are actually built into the cliffs that overlook the lake, Galartha, a rock face that changes pitch and handholds as you climb, subterranean gardens and Temtibi Lagoon, where it never rains thanks to the weather control.
If casual sex is more your thing though, you’ll go a long way before you find inhabitants as sexually permissive and adventurous as the Risians, who are always ready to make a newcomer feel welcome. Weapons are not allowed on the planet at all, so it’s also a very safe and law-abiding place. Surprisingly enough, Risa was not always the paradise it is today. Originally it could have rivalled the Ferengi homeworld for rain and high winds, and had little to recommend it. But through the employment of a sophisticated weather control system the Risians terraformed the planet and made it into the hot tourist resort it has become known as. Also interesting is the history behind Risa’s transformation, which mirrors the tale of Bugsy Siegal’s creation out of the desert of Las Vegas as the mecca of gambling.
A man named Arlo Leyven, on the run from the authorities, crashed on Risa and immediately saw its potential. He decided to make it the premier tourist spot in the galaxy, and borrowed heavily from the shady Orion Syndicate to finance the building of and use of the weather system that would turn Risa into a paradise and make him a very rich man in the process. He was however assassinated some time later and the planet itself was devastated by the Borg attack on the Alpha Quadrant. It has since been rebuilt and remains one of the most popular destinations in the galaxy for tourists.
One thing Star Trek is known for - well, many, but among them is its immediately recognisable music. Each series has its own theme, and though at times they sound familiar, you really can’t mix them up. Then of course there are the movies, which use everything from the original theme for TNG to very unconnected scores. But which is the best? Welcome to
At the bottom end of the scale, a theme not too well known — indeed, a series not that well known either — but which has a certain charm that appeals to me. It’s basically just the original series’s theme slightly altered, but I rather like it. So in at
we have
I like the way they almost - but not quite - use the TOS theme, changing it just enough to be different, but still leaving you in no doubt as to what you’re about to see. Mind you, I have my rather strong opinions on the theme for TOS, which we’ll get to later. For now though, maybe this will bring back some memories. Good or bad, that’s up to you.
Name: Jake Sisko
Race: Human
Born: Earth
Assignment: Deep Space 9
Marital status: Single
Family: Captain Benjamin (Father), Jennifer (Mother, deceased), Joseph (Grandfather), Kasidy Yates (Stepmother)
Important episodes: A Man Alone, The Nagus, Babel, The Jem’Hadar, Civil Defense, Explorers, Homefront, Paradise Lost, Shattered Mirror, Rapture, The Reckoning, Nor the Battle to the Strong, Call to Arms, A Time to Stand, Sacrifice of Angels, Behind the Lines, Valiant, The Visitor, Tears of the Prophets, Shadows and Symbols.
Quite young when he is uprooted from his home and transplanted to the space station Deep Space 9 with his father, Jakes moans about the inconvenience but soon realises he is in a spot envied by other kids his age, as the wormhole is discovered and he has a front row seat. Even so, Jake is a young boy and he does the things young boys do, ie get into trouble. Most of this is thanks to, or at least with the complicity and encouragement of Nog, Ferengi son of Rom, Quark’s cousin. The captain does not approve of the association, believing the Ferengi to be a bad influence on his son, but despite that — or probably because of it — the friendship thrives. Jake is with his father taking a break in the Gamma Quadrant when they encounter the first Vorta and soon after the Jem’Hadar. Jake and Nog manage to alert the station by flying the runabout back to friendly space.
Jake soon decides he does not wish to follow in his father’s footsteps; much more quickly than Wesley Crusher in TNG he comes to realise that a career in Starfleet, although expected of him and basically mapped out for him, is not the path he wishes to tread. Instead he turns his energies towards writing, cataloguing the events that occur at the station and later the unfolding of the Dominion War. Although she dies when he is eleven, Jake gets to meet his mother when she visits from the alternate universe and kidnaps him in order to force Captain Sisko to pursue her there and then help build a replica of the Defiant. Although he finds he has no stomach for fighting, he elects to remain behind when Deep Space 9 falls to the Dominion, in order to report the news of developments and, clandestinely, to help organise a resistance against the station’s occupying force.
In later life Jake became a famous writer, but he only ever wrote one novel. This occurred, however, in an alternate timeline that was destroyed when he managed to prevent his father dying, so whether it really happened or not is unknown.
Picard repeatedly bashing his head against the hull and swearing.
Counselor Troi : Captain,are you well? I can sense a latent anger.
That about sums up The Next Generation for me.
Oh now that’s unfair. Picard was not the best captain, sure - certainly no Kirk or even Sisko - but the ensemble cast deserve more than that. And Deanna did help keep my not-so-teenage fantasies alive, so there is that.
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Vulcans
Class: Humanoid, pacifists
Home planet: Vulcan
Feature in: TOS, TNG, VOY, ENT
Values: Logic, calculating thought, peace, serenity, clear thinking, non-violence
Vulcans of note: Sarek, Surak, Spock, Tuvok, T’Pel, T’Pau
The polar opposite of the Klingons, Vulcans prefer the cold logic of the mathematical equation to the hot blood of the warrior, and are much happier in meditative contemplation than searching for worlds to conquer. Contrary to public belief, they do have emotions but have learned over the millennia to control them to such a degree that it often seems as if they do not. It is rare indeed to see a Vulcan smile, laugh, cry or get angry. They consider such “base displays of emotion” to be beneath them, distasteful and embarrassing, and in fact see them as illogical, the very antithesis to the core beliefs on which their society is founded. Vulcans share a common ancestry with the Romulans; both were part of the one race, but whereas one offshoot decided to pursue logic and rational thinking, and expunge emotion as far as possible from their world, the Romulans retained their warlike tendencies and split off from the mother race, making the planets Romulus and Remus their home worlds. Though they are essentially Vulcans, Romulans are shunned by Vulcans as they remind them of the path their entire race was heading down, and are an uncomfortable reminder of how all Vulcans could have ended up, were they not saved by the great thinker Surak and the freedom of logic.
However, because they refuse to show emotion Vulcans are looked on as cold and arrogant. Well, they kind of are: Vulcans don’t think they’re better than anyone else, they know they are. It is pure logic, as far as they see it. If they can resist being prodded, jabbed, angered, goaded where another race — any race — would lose its cool, then that makes them better. They’re certainly more intelligent, having devoted so much time to studying philosophy, arts, science and of course mathematics, and they’re not shy about showing it. In fact, Vulcans don’t show off: they simply do what they do and if others think that’s showing off then it means literally nothing to them. Their quiet, unruffled nature of course makes them perfectly suited to be mediators, ambassadors, negotiators. Vulcans however are almost totally pacifist; they abhor violence and even though they possess great physical strength will seldom ever use it. They do have a way of incapacitating an enemy without hurting them, something called a nerve pinch. This causes the subject to drop down unconscious, though for how long is unclear.
Vulcans were the first alien race humanity encountered, shortly after conducting their first warp speed test flight, and therefore the destinies of both races has always been tightly interwoven. Even so, few Vulcans have served in Starfleet, as the idea of military service is seen by the vast majority as a waste of a superior mind. Spock’s father, Sarek, always disagreed with his son’s decision to join Starfleet, and it was a source of bitterness (inasmuch as there can be bitterness between people who control their emotions so rigidly) and distance between them up until Spock’s rebirth after giving his life to save the USS Enterprise. Vulcans seldom intermarry, but Sarek fell in love with a human woman, and married her. This then made Spock half-human, and therefore something of an outcast in his society growing up. Having human heritage did however give Spock a unique insight into humans, and helped him to work better with these emotional creatures.
Despite their logic — or perhaps because of it — Vulcans are very spiritual and believe in the resurrection of the body, as well as certain gods. They attend to their mysticism and worship with the same stoic, unemotional dedication they apply to learning, or studying. Women seem to have equal standing in their society, probably because it is after all illogical to differentiate between the sexes, and as Spock points out to his captain at one juncture, they have no egos to bruise. Because emotion colours speech, all Vulcans speak in a calm, unhurried tone and seldom betray any expression beyond perhaps the raising of an eyebrow.
After Star Trek finished in 1969 everyone thought that was the last we would ever see of Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock and Bones McCoy, but Paramount had other ideas, and surely thought well why can’t this money-making machine sorry popular show transfer from the small screen to the big?
Why indeed? Case in point…
Title: Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Released: 1979
Writer(s): Alan Dean Foster/ Harold Livingston
Director: Robert Wise
Starring: All the usual Star Trek crew plus: Stephen Collins as Willard Decker, Persis Khambhatta as Ilia
Runtime: 132 minutes
Budget: USD 46 million
Boxoffice: USD 134 million
Critical acclaim: Very low
Fan acclaim: Very low
Legacy: First in the franchise, but quickly forgotten about.
Enterprise: NCC-1701
Finally convinced they had killed the goose that laid the golden egg when they had cancelled the original Star Trek series in 1969, and having seen its phenomenal success in syndication all over the world, Paramount decided to cash in on this and began plans to revive the series, but changed their minds in 1978 and went for a movie release instead. This is not hard to understand. The late seventies had seen movies such as Alien, Star Wars and Close Encounters coin it in, and make a mockery of the belief that sci-fi was just for geeks and losers. Smashing box-offices all over the world, it seemed science fiction and space opera was here to stay, and you could buy your next beachfront property if you hedged your bets in that area. And so in 1978 filming began on what would be the first live-action reincarnation of Star Trek since the original series was cancelled.
What resulted, sadly, was a critical and creative failure, although it did pull in the box-office receipts. It does have to be stressed though that most of those who went to see the film more than likely did so because it was after all the first Star Trek movie. There are no records for film-goers who went to see it and were disappointed: you couldn’t demand your money back at the end. Not that it was that bad. But it was. Listen to this:
A huge alien energy cloud is headed for Earth, and is surprisingly immune to the photon torpedoes three Klingon warships throw at it, destroying them all in the process, and also taking out one of the Federation’s monitoring stations on the way. Spock, on pilgrimage to Vulcan, is about to reach Kolinahr, the state prized by his people in which total control of their emotions is achieved, but just as the culmination of his labours arrives and he is about to be presented with the symbol of total logic, something distracts him. He hears a call from out in space, and the high priestess realises he is listening to his human emotions, and that he is not yet ready.
Isn’t it always the same? There you are, ready to achieve the Vulcan version of Nirvana, ready to receive your medal when all of a sudden some buggering probe from deep space nudges you and says “Wotcha! Me and my alien buddy here want to take down your planet. Any chance of directions mate? We’re kinda lost, and you can’t wipe out all known and intelligent lifeforms on a planet if you can’t find the bloody thing, know what I mean son? Do us a solid: this galactic sat nav ain’t worth shit.” How many times, now seriously, has that happened to you? It’s not even funny anymore.
Back on Earth, at Starfleet Headquarters an older but perhaps not necessarily wiser (but certainly fatter) Admiral James Kirk demands to take command of his old ship, which is being refitted and will soon be ready to be launched on its first mission. There is one problem though: the USS Enterprise already has a captain, one Willard Decker, and he is not happy about handing over the captain’s chair.
There are many new crew members, but when Lieutenant Ilia, a Deltan, boards, it is clear that she and Decker have history, although she mentions a vow of celibacy. En route, another crewmember joins them. It is Spock, but if they expected a tearful reunion the crew are to be disappointed, as the Vulcan is, if possible, even less friendly and more aloof than before. He is however able to help Scotty repair and recalibrate the engines, after Kirk had foolishly demanded warp speed too soon, taking them into a wormhole and nearly destroying the ship, certainly damaging the engines, to say nothing of his reputation and perhaps causing the crew to consider checking him into Bide-a-Wee Rest Home for the Terminally Adventurous Spacefarer. Spock tells Kirk and McCoy that he began sensing a powerful intelligence while on Vulcan, an exceedingly logical being, and believes that his answers, which he was unable to find while on his home planet, may lie within the entity they are approaching.
With his help, the Enterprise makes it to the cloud while it is still one day away from Earth, whereupon they are scanned, and Spock says he believes there is an object at the heart of the cloud. He also detects a feeling of surprise, that they have not responded, having been contacted. Kirk refrains from assuming a defensive posture, in case this is misinterpreted by the cloud (or whatever is at its heart) as a hostile act, but when they are attacked he has no choice. Spock manages to modify their communications to allow them to send messages of friendship the entity can understand and interpret, and the attack is broken off. For now. Needing to make contact with whatever is inside the cloud, Kirk has little alternative but to order the ship to enter the cloud, despite the danger and the uncertainty. On doing so, they do indeed find an object inside; seems to be some sort of alien spacecraft. As they hold position over the craft they are suddenly probed. Spock tries to shut off the ship’s computer, as the probe is running their databanks, but the probe attacks him. Next it goes for Ilia, vapourising her and then disappearing. The Enterprise is drawn inside the alien craft.
Suddenly there is a security alert and they rush to find that Lieutenant Ilia has returned. Or not quite. Her form is that of the Deltan, but the voice speaks with a mechanical monotone, and McCoy and Spock confirm it is a probe from the alien vessel, merely taking the form of Ilia, the better to communicate with them. It says it is from V’ger, and wishes to study “the carbon-based lifeforms infesting the Enterprise.” That’s them: Kirk, Spock, Scotty, the whole crew. Carbon-based lifeforms. That’s us. The probe tells them it is heading towards Earth in order to merge with “the Creator”, but when Kirk tries to dig deeper he gets no further explanation. He sets Decker to chaperone the probe, as he was involved with Ilia, and the probe tells him that once it has completed its examination it will “reduce all carbon units to data packets.” Doesn’t sound too good for the crew of NCC-1701! Meanwhile, Spock goes out of the ship to penetrate into the inner chamber of the vessel, a risky manoeuvre but he finds inside some sort of digital holographic record of all the planets and places this V’Ger has visited. He believes it is not a vessel after all now, but a living being.
He finds a pulsing sensor at the centre of the chamber and believing it to be some sort of conduit for the intelligence driving the alien, tries to mind-meld with it, but it literally blows his mind and he floats, unconscious, until Kirk, who has gone out after him, finds him and brings him back to the ship. He tells Kirk that the alien, V’ger, is a probe from a world populated by living machines, is incapable of understanding emotion, and is going through what can only be described as an existential crisis, as it seeks to discover if this is all there is to its existence? The cloud is now almost within reach of Earth, and V’ger begins sending an old-style radio signal — a message to its creator, which it expects to be answered. When no reply is forthcoming, the vessel, entity or whatever it is sets up powerful weapons arrays above the planet, after having knocked out all defensive systems, as it prepares to scour the Earth of life.
In a desperate ploy to save his home planet (and his own life; they’re next obviously) Kirk tells the probe that he knows why the signal has not been responded to, why the creator has not replied, but he will only disclose this information on two conditions: one, the orbiting devices must be removed from around the planet, and two, he must give the information directly to V’ger. He and Spock have realised that if the probe takes them to the central processor unit of the vessel, they should be able to deactivate the devices. The probe agrees, but the devices will only be removed after Kirk has disclosed the required information. V’ger learns fast! And so they are taken into the machine, where with the benefit of an oxygen atmosphere being provided we are treated to the first ever instance of the crew walking on the saucer section of the Enterprise outside.
What they find solves the mystery. A huge alien probe, and at its heart an old Earth one, Voyager VI. V’Ger is Voyager, and it is trying to transmit its collected data back to Earth, its creator. It was launched three hundred years ago, but now has been sent back by the inhabitants of the machine world, and is trying to fulfil its mission. But it can’t, as there is nobody left on Earth who knows the transmission code that will allow it to send its data. Kirk has Uhura look it up and they send the code, but V’Ger does not receive it, having intentionally (apparently) burned out the wires that make the connection with its receiver. It wants to literally join with the creator, whom it now sees as Decker, with Ilia the probe. So Decker will after all get his end away and Ilia’s vow of celibacy is about to be broken in the most spectacular fashion!
Decker puts in the transmission sequence manually and he and Ilia the probe are surrounded by light as they join and science goes out the window under total Star Trek technobabble. The cloud, the probe, the orbiting devices all disappear and all is well as the Enterprise comes out triumphantly, having once again saved the day.
QUOTES
Kirk (on taking over the captaincy): “I’m sorry Will.”
Decker: “No, sir, I don’t believe you are. I don’t believe you’re sorry one bit, Admiral. I remember when I took command of the Enterprise you told me how envious you were, and how you hoped to get a command yourself. Well, sir, it looks like you found a way.”
(Considering he has not asked for permission to speak freely, this could go down on Decker’s record as insubordination. He is, after all, talking to a superior officer in a very belligerent and familiar way).
McCoy: “The admiral invoked a little-known, seldom-used clause called a reactivation order. In simpler language, they drafted me.”
Kirk: “They didn’t.”
McCoy: “This was your idea?”
Kirk: “Bones, there’s a … thing out there …”
McCoy: “Why is any object we don’t understand always called a thing?”
Kirk: “It’s headed this way. I need you. Damn it Bones: I need you! Badly!”
(You’d have to wonder at the validity of this. After all, McCoy is a doctor, this is a cloud measuring tens of atmospheric units across. What’s he gonna do? Diagnose it?)
Decker: “Permission to speak freely sir?”
Kirk: “Granted.”
Decker: “You haven’t logged a star hour in over two and a half years, sir. That, plus your unfamiliarity with this ship and its redesign, in my opinion sir, seriously jeopardises this mission.”
Kirk: “Full sensor scan, Mr. Spock. They can’t expect us not to look them over now.”
Decker: “Not now we’re looking right down their throats.”
Kirk: “Right. Now that we have them just where they want us.”
Kirk: “Where’s Lieutenant Ilia?”
Probe: “That unit no longer functions.”
(Oh. What an epitaph for the Deltan officer: Here lies Lt. Ilia, of the USS Enterprise. She no longer functions.)
Kirk: “Who is the creator?”
Probe: “The creator is that which created V’ger.”
Kirk: “And who is V’ger?”
Probe: “V’ger is that which was made by the creator .”
(Circular logic at its best!)
Decker: “Within that shell are the memories of … a certain carbon unit. If I could help you to revive those memories it might help you understand our function better.”
Probe: “That is logical. You may proceed.”
(Howay ya lad ya! 
)
Spock: “Captain, V’ger is a child. I suggest you treat it as such.”
Kirk: “A child?”
Spock: “Yes captain. A child. Learning, evolving, searching. Instinctively needing.”
Decker: “Needing what?”
McCoy: “Spock, this child is about to wipe out every living thing on Earth! What do you suggest we do: spank it?”
Kirk (as Decker prepares to manually input the signal): “Decker, don’t!”
(It’s such a sincere request; Kirk obviously sees his main competitor for the command of Enterprise about to be removed from the game, and he can’t wait. He might as well have said “Yeah go on, do it.”)
Kirk: “Mister Sulu, ahead, warp one.”
Sulu: “Warp one, captain. Heading?”
Kirk: “Out there. Thataway.”
(I don’t think you’ll find this in the Starfleet manual of operations, Kirk me old chum!)
Questions?
Why does at least one of the Klingon warships not hit warp and get the fuck out of there when they see how powerful the alien cloud is? I know, I know: Klingons never run, but have they never read Sir John Falstaff? I mean, come on! They are clearly up against a vastly superior power, and as any commander worth his salt knows, it is no shame to retreat in the face of either overwhelming odds or from an enemy who has you completely outmatched. Besides, won’t the Klingon High Command, to say nothing of the homeworld itself, need to be warned, apprised of the danger? Isn’t this one time where a bit of brains should triumph over chest-beating brawn? But no: they instead fire — with one of the ships already vapourised in seconds before their eyes — three photon torpedoes at an entity which has already proven immune to such weapons. Are these guys idiots?
Kirk mentions that “the only starship in range of the cloud is the Enterprise”. But they’re at Starfleet fucking headquarters! Are we supposed to believe that there is no other warship, starship or cruiser docked there, that the only ship moored there of consequence is NCC-1701? Seems at best unlikely.
Why does Kirk demand to be in command? Sure, we need it for the movie, but in reality, is there any justification for this? Decker knows the ship inside out, he’s a competent captain. Why does Kirk think he is the only one who can complete the mission? Is he that arrogant? Don’t answer. Seems to me he may just have grabbed at his only chance to get his own command again, particularly the one ship he would have wanted. A little petty? The needs of the one outweighing the needs of the many?
Spock mentions that, while inside V’ger, he saw the alien’s home planet, a “planet populated by living machines”. He refers to them as “cold”, using “pure logic”. An early template for that later scourge of the galaxy, the Borg?
Memorable scenes and effects
The energy cloud is done well, but basically it’s, well, a cloud with a lot of colours and things floating in it. My main plaudits have to go to the initial approach as Kirk and Scotty see the Enterprise for the first time in the movie — I remember the lump in my throat when I saw that the first time too. After all, remember, this was the very first glimpse for us of a ship we had seen carry Kirk and his crew through three seasons of television adventure, and we thought we would never see it again. A special moment. The sequence is perhaps overextended and a little indulgent, but you can forgive them for that. The scene where they leave spacedock is also very impressive.
Kirk’s hubris
Never a man to listen to others when his mind is made up, Kirk is well known for pushing the limits and taking often unnecessary risks. Here, I’ll be charting the moments when his overconfidence is his undoing, putting his crew and others in potential danger.
As they leave Earth, Kirk demands warp power immediately, even though everyone from Decker to Scotty advise against it: more simulation time is needed. The ship is untested, having just undergone a complete refit, and they should not be pushing things. Kirk, however, as usual listens to nobody, with the result that they nearly end up colliding with a wormhole in space and ending their mission before it has even begun. He is forced into an embarrassing climbdown, and it won’t be the last time he has to admit he was wrong, or at least too hasty in ordering something. Also, while in the wormhole they encounter an object in their path. With helm unresponsive, they can’t avoid it and Kirk orders phasers to fire, but Decker, knowing the new ship better, countermands the order and uses the photon torpedoes instead.
Themes and motifs
Certainly the theme of homecomings is evident here, and not surprisingly so. This is, after all, the return of Star Trek to the screen, albeit the big one too. But apart from that, it’s a sort of homecoming for Kirk, who has been flying a desk for some years now and has almost forcibly changed that to ensure he has returned to the captain’s chair. V’ger has its own sort of homecoming, returning to the planet from which it was launched, although certainly it comes back a changed probe, with a somewhat skewed idea of its mission! It’s also a return for Decker and Ilia, as they meet again after an unspecified but not hard to guess at liaison on her home planet.
There’s a theme too, though, I feel, of helplessness. Kirk feels helpless as an admiral, unable to take command of a starship as he has been used to, until he forces Starfleet’s hand and convinces them to give him his old ship back. Helpless describes Decker, relieved of command and now subservient to a man he does not like, and whom, he knows, is angling for permanent command of the Enterprise. The Earth is helpless before the attack of V’Ger, and even V’ger is, to some extent, helpless, as it tries to work out what it is supposed to be doing, and how it is to do it.
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Parallels
The plotline follows basically the same as a TOS episode called “The Changeling”, in which an Earth probe returns, having collided with an alien probe, and, well, goes a bit loopy. Essentially, Kirk does the same here as he did there (or tries to): pretends he is the one the probe is seeking.
The relationship between Decker and Ilia, or at least their initial reunion, is mirrored almost exactly by the same scene in TNG when Riker and Troi meet on the Enterprise.
And isn’t that…?
Two cameos at the beginning of the movie for Grace Lee Whitney, returning as Janice Rand, promoted after all this time from Yeoman to Commander, who handles the disastrous transport of Sovak and another crewman, the fault in the teleporter resulting in their grisly deaths. The commander of Epsilon 9 monitoring station is none other than the late Mark Lenard, who played the Romulan commander in “Balance of Terror” but is best known for playing Spock’s father, Sarek, in both TOS and TNG. He later returns as Sarek in the third movie.
Does this movie deserve its reputation?
Here I’ll be looking at what is generally thought of the movie, good bad or indifferent. Does it deserve the plaudits, or indeed the derision it has earned over the years? Having watched it fresh, perhaps for the first time in a very long time, is my mind altered on how I originally received it, or does it still rock/suck, or is it still meh, or even a case of the jury being out?
The basic reputation this movie has is perhaps best encapsulated in a title my brother once jeeringly gave it, calling it “Star Trek: The Slow Motion Picture”. And he’s not wrong. It’s a terribly plodding, dull, uneventful movie. When you look at the later ones in the franchise, you can see how they must have agreed. There’s very little action here, and no space battles at all. The only other vessels we see really, other than V’Ger, are the Klingons and they’re gone within the first three minutes of the movie’s opening. There’s little too of the famed easy friendship between the main characters: Kirk is stilted and uptight, knowing he has overstepped his authority at least morally, in taking command of the ship and secretly unsure if he’s still up to the job. Spock is even less human, having been on pilgrimage to Vulcan, and McCoy is, well, McCoy, but he’s worried about Kirk. Scotty is fine, but then Scotty will always be Scotty.
The plot is wafer-thin. As I said above, it’s basically cobbled from ideas taken from “The Changeling” and what was to have been the pilot for the new series, which was cancelled. It also has some elements of 2001 about it, but the resolution is ridiculous, and jumps right off the science-fiction trail into the woods of magic and sorcery. There is no scientific explanation as to why Decker suddenly becomes one with V’Ger after inputting the code, and why a new lifeform results. It might as well be magic, and it’s a stupid, lazy ending. Had it ended as it should have, with V’Ger transmitting its message and Earth being saved, that would have been okay, but this pseudo-psychological mumbo-jumbo about creatures joining because someone fuses two wires… bah!
The thing is that up to then there’s very little that happens, and like a certain point in later movie Generations, when a friend at work confessed to me that she fell asleep during the scene that explained what was going on, the whole thing is very boring. It survives on one real pretext only, and that is that it was the first of the Trek movies. Everyone wanted to see the gang again, everyone was eager to see the Enterprise in action, and because of that it got what can only be described as a pass. I’d venture to bet that a very large percentage of those who went to see it came out bewildered and disappointed. In the “Questions?” section I laughed at the contention that there were no other starships in the vicinity of their fucking home base (!) but now have to ask what the hell were Starfleet doing while Kirk and Co rode to save the day? When the Enterprise, within the V’Ger cloud, gets back to Earth they still haven’t launched any ships, called any back to assist in the defence of the homeworld? They’re pinning all their hopes on NCC-1701, just waiting?
I’m also quite disappointed in the soundtrack. I didn’t know it at the time of course, but it’s basically the theme for TNG, note for note, with the odd nod back to the original theme and a few heavy bass or guitar notes when V’ger comes on the scene. Very poor. If I had to pick out things that could have saved the movie, or at least areas that impressed me, the launch of the Enterprise, the transporter accident and maybe the trip through the wormhole. That’s about it. Not much in a movie that’s over two hours long.
So yeah, at the end, I feel this does deserve its poor reputation. It’s almost like the writers weren’t trying, or maybe were trying to hard, and fell somewhere in between. The movie was overall quite boring, no real action, too wordy and without question, if she fell asleep during Generations then Helen would have been snoozing about ten minutes after this began. Thankfully it was the last such poor movie, and they totally upped their game for the next one. But as a debut for the film franchise it leaves a whole lot to be desired.
Therefore, having taken everything into account and approaching this both from a fresher and more informed perspective, all I can award this first Star Trek movie is a poor
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From the very moment Star Trek: The Next Generation hit our screens the new captain was compared to the old. I did it myself ---- “Kirk would never have done that” etc., and it was probably obvious to Patrick Stewart that he would have to live up to, and if possible equal or exceed the memory of the first captain of the starship Enterprise. But as time went on and the series found its feet, becoming in some ways more popular than the original, and certainly lasting longer, Captain Jean-Luc Picard has for some fans become the captain of choice, eclipsing his predecessor. For others, of course, only one man is fit to be in command of Starfleet’s flagship.
So, the question has boiled and raged across decades, as people on internet forums, fansites, in fan fiction and at conventions, even at workplaces debate the dilemma that has haunted man ever since we first heard those immortal words — “Broadcast this on all channels and in all languages: we surrender.” Words we had never expected to hear Kirk say, but which were uttered on his very first day out by the new captain, and which instantly, in my eyes anyway and surely in that of other diehard Trekkers, reduced the man and set him forever in the shadow of the greater captain. But as I mentioned, we came to find that Picard was a different kind of captain. Where Kirk would break the Prime Directive three times before breakfast, Picard would protect it with his life and those of his crew. Kirk flouted regulations with a cheeky grin, while his successor was grim and stuffy in his slavish devotion to the rules. Kirk wooed women from one end of the cosmos to the other, Picard rarely if ever even had a fling.
And yet, it is Picard who has survived and taken the name of Star Trek to the minds and hearts of a younger generation, as his older counterpart endeavoured to solidify and maintain his legacy via the big screen, later followed by the man who was walking in his footsteps. Kirk is gone now (though rumours abound that he may guest in the third of the rebooted movies next year) and so is Picard, as both shows have ended and the movies starring both have changed hands, as a younger, more hip and happening (!) crew take the new Enterprise where, um, everyone has gone before. So as the lights dim and the dust settles, we ask the burning question of our time: who is the better captain?
Obviously, there’s no way to answer that definitively, since it’s as much a matter of taste and perspective as it is of facts and figures. But science is our friend, and I’m sure at least Picard would approve, so we’re heading into Trollheart’s Laboratory - mind those samples! They’re precious! And collectable - to check out each captain in various categories, compare them and see who comes out on top.
And where else would be begin than with the early years of both at Starfleet Academy?
Academic Career
Kirk: Commended for his “creative” solution to the no-win Kobyashi Maru test, seems to have taken to the Academy like a proto-duck to quantum water.
Picard: Failed his first attempt, and had to be coached by Boothby the gardener, though he did go on to win the Academy Marathon, the first ever freshman to do so.
Nonetheless, in terms of their academic career I would have to award this to Kirk. 1-0 to him.
Command: How did each attain their first captaincy?
Kirk: Although he distinguished himself while still a lieutenant serving aboard the USS Farragut, it seems Kirk earned the command of the Enterprise in the usual way, without any real heroics or incident while
Picard: Took control of the USS Stargazer when its captain was killed, which gives him the edge. Rather than be given command, he took it (albeit temporarily and in the utmost necessity) and was thereafter given command of the Enterprise.
So we have to give this round to Picard. Score is now 1-1.
What about service time? Well, Let’s see.
Kirk: Served as captain of the Enterprise for three years (the mission is described as a five-year one, and may have been, but we can only count the timeline we witnessed), from 1966-69, after which the crew appeared in six movies from 1979 to 1991, so that makes 3+11=14 years.
Picard: Captained NCC-1701D through seven seasons from 1987-94, and then four films from 1994-2002. That’s a total of 7+7=14 years. Hey! Exactly the same!
Now, let’s take into account Kirk’s guesting in Generations (1994). Does that change things? Well not really as Kirk was retired — indeed, presumed dead in his timeline — at the time, and brought forward to Picard’s time, so the timelines are getting a little messy here. It’s the same as if he does reprise his role in the new Star Trek reboot movie: I just think it confuses things too much. So this is a draw then, and the scores remain at 1-1.
Ships destroyed? Each captain has wrecked his own ship, so where does that leave us? Let’s look into this in a bit more detail. What? Yes, we must.
Kirk: Destroyed the original Enterprise in order to stop her from falling into Klingon hands and also to take out almost all of his enemies at the time. Plus the ship was in a bad way and would not have lasted any protracted battle. The Klingon ship was damaged too, but not as badly as Enterprise, so it seems to have been the correct decision.
Picard: Allowed a woman to drive in Generations and paid the price! 
Seriously, the stardrive section was destroyed by a warp core breach initiated by the Duras Sisters and the saucer section was hit by the shockwave and crashed. So ended NCC-1701D.
Technically, though, it could be argued that he destroyed NCC-1701C too, when he ordered it back through the rift in “Yesterday’s Enterprise”. Yeah, but then what about the million other versions of the ship that appeared through the rent in space/time? No, I don’t think we can count that, plus Picard was not in charge of that ship, so it was really up to her own captain as to whether he wished to go back and set history straight.
So we have two ships, each destroyed, one by the captain’s hand as a final “fuck you” to the Klingons, and one destroyed by a combination of the Klingons and Deanna’s woeful driving. Think on balance, Kirk gets this one. NCC-1701 was destroyed intentionally, and with a clear purpose and a sense of sacrifice, while NCC-1701D was really just taken down in battle. Have to give this one to Kirk.
2-1 to Kirk then.
How about personality?
Kirk: Had an easygoing, friendly way of commanding; friends with his crew, approachable, would go drinking with them as we saw in “Wolf in the Fold”, where other such “nights out with the boys” were alluded to. Smiled a lot. Took discipline seriously but often did so with a heavy heart. Although everyone respected Kirk, he seems like the kind of guy you’d enjoy sharing a beer with, and wouldn’t be so stuck up that he would only mix with his officers.
Picard: Very aloof and generally unsmiling, rigid and uptight. Never joined in on the poker sessions on the ship, not until the finale, and indeed the final scene of that. Can’t recall him ever going for a drink (other than once, in “Allegiances”, but that time it wasn’t him but an alien taking his form). Did attend recitals and concerts on the ship but more as a matter of protocol and duty than actual enjoyment. Those who are close to him know and trust him, but I get the feeling that most of the rest of the crew hardly know him at all, and I doubt he makes it his business to even know their names. Then again, he does allow “Captain Picard Day” although he doesn’t get on with children, but that’s again more a matter of doing something because he has to than that he wants to.
If you’re looking for a captain who’s just one of the guys but still has the air of command about him and knows how to lead, and inspire loyalty, I think that has to be Kirk.
So that’s 3-1 to Kirk.
Stickler for the rules?
Kirk has been known to break the rules on plenty of occasions, when the situation warranted it, and though Picard has taken part in covert operations (as has Kirk) he generally tends to stick fairly rigidly to the regulations, quoting article this and directive that, so it would certainly seem that Kirk is the one more ready to bend or even break the rules if needed.
But before we award this round to him, let’s consider if this is a good thing. If you’re prepared to break the rules once, you’re certainly going to do it twice, and where then do you draw the line? Do regulations after a while just become something you need to find a way around, at which point they cease being regulations at all? And as for Picard, if you refuse to break the rules on any grounds — even personal — does that make you a better or worse captain?
I’d have to say that I would prefer a captain who would be willing to think on his feet and assess the situation as it developed, without having to be bound by the strictures of the regulations all the time. So again I feel Kirk wins this round.
4-1 to Kirk.
Romance?
Kirk’s ladyfriends are spread (sorry) far and wide across the galaxy, some from his past, some picked up on missions, some used to get an advantage over an enemy. Kirk is not at all averse to using a woman to get what he wants, and has the charm and good looks to make that happen. He’s also very persuasive, and women of course are drawn to power. Picard? He’s had the odd romantic fling but never anything serious, unless you count his feelings for Beverly Crusher, but then he never acted on those. Or did he? In the final episode of TNG we see a future wherein he has married her. But is this an actual future or a possible one? I think we can take it that it is the actual one, so there’s some romance there. Kirk never gets married, not even in the movies, though he does have a son, as we see in The Wrath of Khan.
Kirk is the adventurer, the action man, the romantic and the smoothy when he needs to be, whereas Picard is more intellectual, preferring women to whom he can relate on his own level, though Vash is certainly a woman Kirk might have been expected to pursue. In many ways, she’s the perfect mate for Picard, but she doesn’t want to settle down and can’t stand the discipline of the ship so their relationship, were there to be one, is doomed from the start. When he is in fact matched with his perfect mate, in the episode of the same name, Picard’s honour and sense of duty and responsibility, to say nothing of his moral code, will not allow him to be with the woman he is clearly meant to be with, as she is promised to another.
And yet, both men put their career above their love lives. Kirk left Carol Marcus because he wanted to be in command of the Enterprise, while Picard seems married to his ship. In terms of being a “galactic lothario” though, we think more in the direction of Kirk than Picard, so once again he gets the round.
5-1 to Kirk.
Picard had better up his game, and soon!
Adventurer
Probably due to the nature of the show and his being the star of it, I don’t think there’s one episode of TOS that doesn’t have Kirk in it, and whenever there’s a planet to be explored he’ll be leading the landing party. By contrast, Picard is often content or impressed upon to be left behind, Riker telling him they can’t risk putting the captain in danger. Pah! Kirk laughs at danger, and drops ice cubes down the vest of fear! Nobody’s saying Picard is not brave, or willing to beam down or over when the occasion warrants it, but Kirk never stays back at the barn, no matter what. Kirk again.
6-1 to Kirk.
Turncoat?
Has either captain ever fought against, or been forced to fight against, his own people?
Picard is the obvious example here, when he is assimilated by the Borg and turned into Locutus of Borg, forced to direct the battle of Wolf 359, a massive defeat for Starfleet. He also takes up arms against Starfleet in Insurrection, the ninth Trek movie, for a cause he believes in.
Kirk takes the Enterprise, against Starfleet orders, in The Search for Spock, in order to try to help his best friend find peace, and for his actions is busted down from admiral to captain.
But I think Picard aces this one; so for once the round is his.
6-2 to Kirk.
Back from the dead?
Kirk died, Picard did not, but being assimilated by the Borg is a kind of living death. The memories, the free will, the emotions all slowly die to be replaced by automatic mechanical and computer responses as the individual becomes part of the hive mind. Picard is to date the only human, bar Seven of Nine, to reverse that process and become “human again”. Kirk got lost in “The Tholian Web” and also in “The Immunity Syndrome”, but I don’t think that even comes close to coming back from the Borg, as it were. So again Picard gets this round.
6-3 to Kirk, as Picard begins to fight back.
Crew under his command
This is a simple, if unfair one. NCC-1701 carried about 400-odd crew, NCC-1701D over a thousand. More people equals more responsibility so Picard get this round too.
6-4 to Kirk. They thought it was all over…
Decorations
No, not those things you just got through taking off your Christmas tree two months ago! I’m talking about medals here, citations, commendations. Which of our captains has won the most honours during his career?
Kirk: Starfleet Silver Palm, Starfleet Medal of Honour, Starfleet Citation for Conspicuous Gallantry, Starfleet Award for Valour, Prentares Ribbon of Commendation, Palm Leaf of Axanar Peace Mission, Karagite Order of Heroism, Grankite Order of Tactics. That makes seven.
Picard: I’ve looked, and I’m sure he has been decorated, but you know, I can’t find a record of a single one. So we have to award this to the ribbons-and-discs heavy Kirk.
7-4 to Kirk
Loss of command?
Did either captain ever lose, have taken or wrested away, their captaincy?
Kirk was replaced by the M5 computer in “The Ultimate Computer”, but that was only temporary and did not reflect on his ability to command, so let’s forget that one. He was again relieved in “The Deadly Years”, when the ageing virus made him too old to be fit for command. Janis Lester took control of the ship while in his body, and the aliens from Andromeda in “By Any Other Name” took the ship over totally. Again, the ship was taken over by the space hippies in “The Way to Eden”, but perhaps the worst blow was the decommissioning of the Enterprise in The Search for Spock.
Picard’s authority was challenged and rescinded in “Allegiances”, but again that was not him. He certainly lost command of the Enterprise when he was assimilated, and when he was on covert operations on Cardassia in “Chain of Command”. But overall I think it was Kirk who was more often relieved of command in one way or the other, so Picard takes this round too.
7-5 to Kirk.
Yeah, but do you have your own office?
Well, Kirk and Picard spend most of their time on the bridge, naturally, but when he wants to relax Kirk goes to his quarters, which are seldom seen and really nothing more or less any different than other crewmembers. Few people visit him here, unlike Picard, who has the Ready Room just off the bridge, where he can conduct business that is not for general bridge consumption, chew officers out, give secret orders or whatever he wants to do in private. He also has his own quarters, so Picard wins this one by a country mile.
7-6 to Kirk
Wounded in battle?
Though Kirk took many a knock, and did eventually die helping Picard in Generations, he never to my knowledge received any life-threatening wound. He seemed to almost lead a charmed life. Picard, on the other hand, was mortally wounded in a fight with Nausicans the night before he shipped out on the Stargazer, and had to have an artificial heart implanted, something which later led to his almost dying. Have to give the bragging rights to Picard here, which levels the score at
7-7
The next category could be crucial!
Willingness to put his people in harm’s way
One of the many traits required of a commander is that he should not shirk from the hard decisions. If someone is to go into battle and it’s pretty clear they will not come back, the captain should be able to order them to do so, or take a request from them to do so without comment. Kirk, to my knowledge, never lost any of his people (other than redshirts!) whereas Picard approved (through Worf) the assigning of a young Bajoran ensign to a covert operation from which she did not return. He’s the harder captain here, and he pulls into the lead as the score tilts in his favour
8-7 to Picard
Personal tragedy
It happens to everyone at some point in their life. You lose someone dear, a marriage breaks up, there’s a rift in the family. Kirk loses his brother Sam in “Operation: Annihilate!” and later his son in The Search for Spock. Picard loses his best friend, Jack Crusher, but it’s hardly on a par with losing your child, so you’d have to say Kirk aces this round, and brings the scores back level.
8-8
Diplomatic skill
Any captain has to have a mix of soldier and bureaucrat in his makeup, so who is the better politician? Kirk always goes mostly headfirst into any situation, all guns metaphorically (sometimes) blazing; gunboat diplomacy at its best. Picard is more the thinker, prepared to talk things through and try to find a solution through dialogue. He’s definitely the better diplomat, better suited for negotiations and mediation, whereas Kirk’s backside gets itchy if it’s stuck in a conference chair for too long. Both can play the statesman when required, but Picard is definitely better at it. He wins this round easily.
9-8 to Picard
Battles lost
Just as important as battles won are those where, with the odds stacked against him, a canny captain can see the value in retreat or regrouping. Certainly the biggest and most public defeat Starfleet ever suffered was at Wolf 359, but Picard was not working for them at the time. In fact, technically he won that engagement for the Borg, though of course he would rather not claim that particular own goal. He did surrender on the Enterprise’s maiden voyage though, and when they originally encountered the Borg in “Hide and Q” he had to go running to Q to save them, so that’s certainly a battle lost.
Kirk lost the battle against Khan and the Reliant initially, but he gave his opponent a bloody nose before he had to retreat, and in the rematch although Enterprise was badly damaged he came out victorious. Not so when he went up against Kruge: he was defeated then, though turned it into a kind of pyrrhic victory by using his dying ship as a weapon against the victorious Klingons.
I think in this case Picard seems to have lost more battles so Kirk takes this round, and again it’s all square.
9-9
Character growth
Obviously, a great leader does not stay the same as the day he took command; people grow and develop, and it is in the evolution of the character that the persona of what could grow to be a truly great captain is demonstrated. Everyone from Janeway to Sisko have gone through experiences that have changed them, not always for the better but always adding to the sum of their knowledge and to their lives, and which inform the development of their character.
Picard of course went through one of the most life-changing — literally — experiences one can go through when he was assimilated and used as a general against his own race by the Borg, but then Kirk lost his son to the Klingons. Both of these are of course likely to either strengthen or destroy resolve, and as you might expect, in each case the captain used his tragedy to make him a better person. Kirk was demoted at the end of The Voyage Home, something that never happened to Picard, though the latter was tortured by his enemy while Kirk never was, not really. Though he was imprisoned by them, in a penal colony in The Undiscovered Country. Plenty of character building there. I think in fairness this has to be called a draw, which leaves us with the scores still tied at
9-9.
Hand-to-hand
Anyone can use a phaser, but sometimes the true measure of a man, and this goes doubly for a captain, is when he can defend himself without weapons. Kirk has certainly had his share of fisticuffs fights (The Gorn in “Arena” springs to mind) but I can’t recall Picard every going mano a mano with anyone. I could be wrong here, but I just don’t remember him punching out anyone or fighting without his weapon. If he didn’t, then Kirk has to take this round as the man’s man, and so we have a slight lead for him as the scores now stand at
10-9 to Kirk
Alien Nemesis
Every captain, like every superhero, needs an arch-enemy to keep him on his toes and at the top of his game. Kirk doesn’t have one (who said Harry Mudd??) but Picard does: his name is Q. Picard wins this easily, which gets us back to a draw situation.
10-10
Let’s stop here for a moment and look at how this battle has developed. For the first six or so categories Kirk was well on top, kicking the competition into the unrealistic sand and pulling way ahead. It seemed he would never be caught and victory was a foregone conclusion, open and shut case, Picard knocked out by the seventh round. But then suddenly the French captain started to drag himself up off the ground and began to fight back, till they were evenly matched. Then he even started to pull away a little before Kirk came back off the ropes, and since then the two have been pretty evenly matched. It’s gonna take something special to separate these two titans of Trek!
How about Friends in High Places?
It always helps to have contacts back at Starfleet, for those moments when you need a word in the right ear. For the greater part of their career both are captains, so we’ll focus on that. While in command of the original Enterprise, Kirk knew of course other captains, but seemed to mostly kow-tow to admirals and other higher-ups. Picard seems to move in different circles; while he of course respects and obeys the chain of command, he is often more on first-name terms with some of the “brass” in Starfleet. This could be seen as a result of his having had a different education perhaps than Kirk, of moving in different, maybe higher social circles or simply through taking the time to make contacts (Picard is, for instance, a lot more likely to have gone to the opera or theatre and there met an admiral or two, the “meeting on the golf course” idea, than we would expect Kirk to). It could also be that Picard is seen as more the diplomat whereas Kirk, as we have already established, prefers to be the soldier, and diplomats, even part-time ones tend to mix in better company and get the opportunities to rub shoulders with their superiors.
So in terms of people in authority he can call on, or favours he can call in, Picard would appear to win this one.
11-10 to Picard
Education and upbringing
While there’s nothing that says you have to be a bookworm or a university graduate to captain a starship, the gulf between the two men in terms of how well they were educated seems to be quite large. Picard, as you would expect from his character, reads heavily, is into poetry, philosophy, history, art and music, whereas Kirk has never given any evidence of pursuing any of these subjects. He’s a rough-and-ready, kick-in-the-balls guy whereas Picard is a more talk to them and try to find common ground person. And then possibly kick them in the balls if the situation warrants it. Left alone with a well-read ambassador, for instance, Picard could most likely hold forth on many weighty topics and hold his own, whereas Kirk would probably be glancing around looking for star babes he could seduce. Well, maybe not that bad, but you can’t really see him discussing the virtues of Plato vs Marx, or the works of Caravaggio as an example of man’s quest to become immortal by transcending his human limitations, now can you? Debatewise, bookswise and in general level of education, Picard has to win this one.
12-10 to Picard
Children
No, neither has any children, but how do they relate to the little bast – ah, cherubs? Well Picard makes it clear from the very beginning that he does not do well with kids, evidenced fairly quickly in his reaction to Wesley Crusher, and his subsequent dealings with the little folk. He does however redeem himself slightly during the episode “Disaster”, where he manages to keep all the children trapped in the turbolift with him calm, and saves them all. Mind you, he goes about this by essentially applying adult attitudes to them, so is it that big an achievement? Still, he tries so we have to give him that. Kirk, on the other hand, seems quite comfortable with children, as we see in “Miri”, “And the Children Shall Lead” and other episodes. This may be because his brother has children, so he is obviously Uncle Jim, or perhaps more pointedly because he does not have to deal with them on the ship. In fairness, neither does Picard: the odd time he might come across one playing in the corridors but it’s not like they’ve a nursery on the bridge or anything.
No, I think all in all this one has to go to Kirk, definitely the less scary and more approachable and human of the two father figures we know as captains of two very different Enterprises.
12-11 to Kirk
Physical shape?
Of course a captain needs to be in good, if not totally tip-top shape and whereas we’ve seen Kirk’s manly chest more than a few times as he attends a physical in sickbay and pumps those weird pedals on the wall (what the hell are they for anyway?), not to mention that we’ve never heard of him suffering from any longterm illness or ailment, we’re back to that artificial heart that was installed to save Picard’s life after he was stabbed by an alien. That in itself, while making something of a badass of the good captain, does detract from his physical fitness score and leads almost to his death when it malfunctions in “Tapestry”, and therefore has to count against him. So Kirk wins this round too, levelling the score again.
12-12
And I’ve run out of categories and criteria under which to compare the two. Although initially Kirk ran away with the contest, Picard rallied and they were soon neck and neck. Despite the odd time when one or the other got the upper hand, I find at the end I really can’t separate them, and so the final verdict: is Kirk or Picard the better captain? I don’t know. They’re evenly matched and I’d have to call this a draw.
I don’t agree.I didn’t like any of the characters so didn’t care what happened to them unlike Jim and his crew. 
Yes,she did look good but too much of a drip for me.
Well sure, that’s your prerogative. I felt the same about (most of) Voyager: couldn’t care less if Harry Kim fell into a black hole and dragged all the rest with him. As long as The Doctor and maybe (!) Seven survived. There’s a certain dividing line perhaps between those who say only TOS was good and all other incarnations were and are shite. I’m not one of them. Some of the newer ones are great, some are terrible, and the fan-made series vary wildly in terms of quality. But it’s all Trek so I’m happy.
My first choice would be DS9. Some very interesting characters in that.
Hard agree. DS9 was the most mature and best-written of the series, and that includes any new ones. A superb show. Took its time getting going, but once it did — wow.
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