Just get yourself over to the Tea Machine and buy the new Gaffer a Coffee 
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a whoopee cushion on his chair might help lighten the moodā¦
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Bad managers love a proxy employee, more so than a poxy employee
Thatās got āP45ā written all over it Annieā¦
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Whenever we got a new bloke we would direct him to park his car in the managers personal parking slot round the front of the offices, and tell him that space was reserved for the latest addition to the work force just in case things didnāt work out and he could get a quick getawayā¦
I could never understand why new blokes didnāt last very long in the jobā¦
Another new bloke scrapped a Ā£5000 diamond tool he was turning on the lathe.
Seems he hadnāt mastered how to cut a thread on stainless steel, it jumped out of the chuck sending expensive diamonds all over the shop floor.
Foreman Jack wasnāt happy and asked the bloke āwhat am I supposed to do with that now?ā
He replied āLick it and stick it!ā and with that, he headed for the door never to be seen againā¦ 
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I donāt know the first thing about engineering Foxy but thatās truly a horror story. Did the business get their money back, insurance perhaps?
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One factory I worked in got a new boss. His first action was to move all the director parking spaces from the front of the building, by the nice front entrance, and put them round the back of the factory. So all the directors had to walk through the shop floor rather than waltz in past reception. The old parking spaces at the front were changed to visitor spaces. Genius.
(But lets ignore the childish pranks on new starters - never attractive, never funny.)
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Unfortunately not Chilli, these things happen occasionally, we just make a new one.
Our boss once told me that when he first took over the factory the biggest expense in a component was the materialsā¦Diamonds, stainless steel and bonding materialsā¦But now, some thirty years later, Labour was by far the most expensive part of any component.
Our boss (a proper bulldog) was interviewing a new manager. When he asked the new potential manager where he saw himself in five years timeā¦He replied āDoing your job!ā
He did actually get the jobā¦
Yes, for some reason dumb macho managers think that sort of answer is a good thing. I suspect they think it demonstrates qualities that they admire - ambition, fearlessness, drive. So they like that sort of candidate. I would not hire someone who says something like that - but then again its not a question I ever asked in an interview.
a whoopee cushion with P45 written all over it is a great idea. Nobody will know who planted it.
Reminds me of a once much hated by all manager getting a d-ick head hat for secret santa.
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A wrong plate was cut by an operator - not myself - my leading hand informed the manager.
He stated - If it happens again a written warning will be given.
Company policy is that when mistakes occur no one will be reprimanded. Report the error and it will be rectified.
If the same person continues to make mistakes then appropriate written warnings will be instigated.
I approached the manager querying his response.
Stating to him, that Joe Paraā¦ the bigger boss, has reiterated the above response to mistakes.
I asked the manager if company policy has changed.
He backtracked saying it was a miscommunication. Which I do not believe but never said that to him.
The guy is trying to have the workforce cower to his will.
Of the 6 workers here, one is leaving next month and three others - including myself - are looking for work elsewhere.
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I have never done that much damage but in the 1960s I did manage to drop and break half a dozen new travelling wave tube SHF amplifier valves, apparently they were worth about Ā£150 each. In my defence I got tangled up in some wires left across a walkway.
Rather than describe them here is a picture:
When I started in the power industry alcoholism was a problem, I was shown how to run up a 50 Mwatt turbine by a bloke who was so drunk he couldnāt stand up unaided (he ran the machine up perfectly), By the time I retired any error or incident investigation started off with a drug and alcohol test.
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How come all these crappy managers went on to better things, and all the decriers stayed put 
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Maybe folks have got it wrong, missed the code
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