My Commie Queen (
…obscure 1950s rock vinyl)
The fallout from this cold war rock classic, restored from vinyl via AI, earned genre pioneer Gary Eagles a spot on American Bandstand…and a congressional hearing. After some digging, Almost Vinyl has obtained part of original transcript:
Congressman: Mr. Eagles, are you now, or have you ever been a member of the communist party?
Eagles: Oh no sir, I ain’t no commie. But if they come around, it’s definitely a party.
[audible grumbling and minor snickering]
Congressman: You claim no ties to the USSR and yet this “song” – if you can call it that - of yours endorses obscene practices with sworn enemies of our nation.
Eagles: Enemies? No sir, not enemies. Just the one. It’s about all I can handle. These commie lad—
Congressman: Mr. Eagles, do you not see how fornicating with the enemy constitutes conduct against The United States of America?
Eagles: Mr. Congressman, I can’t think of anythin’ more American than deliverin’ sweet democracy unto the adversary.
Congressman: Then you see this as colonization rather than fraternization?
Eagles: Yes sir, I couldn’t have put it better.
[rabbling and nodding]
Congressman: One final question then.
Eagles: Yes sir.
Congressman: In the song you mention not – and I quote – “trading The Eagle” for –
Eagles: The Eagle is my [redacted].
Congressman: [sighs] That will be all.
Eagles: God bless America!