Goodness Mart … can I give you a hug? Would you mind one?
And another for your good lady wife
So sorry to hear that Mart, I hope you both get the best of care and are doing well. My thoughts are with you and Mrs Mart…
All the best mate…
I’m sure that every member of the forum will be sending best wishes for a good outcome…
My very best wishes to you and your dear wife, Mart.
Thinking of you both. xx
Very best wishes to both of you.
Thank you all 
The story goes that our daughter, who lives in Spain, was worried enough to phone our GP and get us an appointment for the same day. I was feeling pretty ill that day and didn’t want to get out of bed to go. But the appointment had been booked so I had to get up, make myself presentable and drive us both to the surgery.
The appointment didn’t run to time and we both sat there wanting nothing more than to go back home again. Mrs m’s chest sounded awful and I just felt half dead. The GP saw us and said we both needed hospital treatment. She printed out the paperwork for us to take to A&E. I drove us home and we phoned our son to come and take us both to hospital in our WAV.
We went into A&E, looked at the room full of people waiting for attention and thought we’d be there forever. It must have been our history or something the GP had written but our names got called pretty quickly. We were put into a cubicle. A Urology doctor came and I was soon on the ward. We were up in the air about what would happen to Mrs m. They were talking about sending her home and setting up some home care.
I was on the ward without a phone to find anything out. and so it remained until next day. The man in the bed opposite was going home that day and offered to go and find out where Mrs m was. Such an act of kindness.
Our friend had been to our house having heard about the situation from Mrs m. She found my phone and taken it in to Mrs m. They had decided to keep her in as it turned out and the kind chap had found that out, written down where she was and came back with my phone and her location. I couldn’t thank him enough. There are nice people in the World.
I ran a fever all that day and next. They seemed to be forever sampling my blood. They decided to catheterise the bladder to get the old blood out. Not much pee getting down there to flush it but the uncomfortable feeling I’d had for days got a little better. Just call me ‘two bags’ from now on
I wasn’t eating or drinking so I was on a hydrating drip. The fever had died down by the next day and it was decided I could come home. I’m on anti-biotics and still off my food somewhat but I’m going to try and pick up a bit today. The silence here is deafening without Mrs m coughing.
They have now transferred her to a dedicated respiratory ward and I hope they can come up with some relief for her this time. There was talk about sending her to a rehab centre some miles away where they could work on her breathing and regaining some strength. I initially said to go for it but on second thoughts, we really don’t want to be separated for that long. We are hoping some sort of home care can be put in place instead.
A few weeks ago, we spent a load of money on a new bed for her. One that adjusts to various angles for her comfort. She hasn’t had the chance to sleep in it that much.
As well as the physical aspect, it becomes and emotional tough time as well. I came home to a cold house yesterday. Nothing was organised before we left for the GP appointment. I saw the wrinkles in the sheets of the new bed left there from the last time Mrs m got up. It’s just sad really.
Luckily, we have family and some good friends who are rallying round and helping when they can. Our daughter arrives from Spain on the 5th of November and she is a great comfort and organiser. If Mrs m isn’t home by then, she can sleep in the new bed.
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After reading your post Mart I felt so sorry for you and Mrs M, after spending a life together and rarely being out of each others company, to be suddenly parted and not knowing what is happening to either you or Mrs M must be the loneliest feeling you have ever experienced.
It reminds me of the time when Mrs Fox and me had covid. We were so poorly we thought we were going to die, but made a pact that neither of us would go to hospital, so we stuck it out at home. You daughter sounds a lot like ours, she brought us food and left it on the gatepost, and was constantly in touch, even though she lived over ten miles away at the other side of town.
Usually, only one of us is ill, and it’s left to the other to do the organising, and it’s so unfortunate that both you and Mrs Mart are ill at the same time…It makes me wonder if you are both suffering with some kind of virus.
At our age life can sometimes be so monotonous, doing the same things day after day, and then one day, it can change forever without warning. Something that’s never far from my mind having suffered three heart attacks in the past.
I know you are a strong willed optimist Mart, and never in your life before have you had to exhibit that now, but you and Mrs Mart will come through this, and although the only help I can give is through this forum, I’ll always be here for you…
All the best…
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I’ll be honest Mart. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. All I can do is continue to send my very best wishes and thoughts.
Thanks Bob and Dex - I heard from the hospital OT earlier asking if we are in agreement for home care. They worry about Mrs m’s ability to transfer from her chair to the bed, to the toilet etc. I try to assure them that we have everything in place and that where she needs to transfer from/to are more or less at the same heights. Grab handles fitted where needed and very little danger of a fall while transferring. True that she is weakened by the respiratory difficulties but this is the problem rather than the fact she is a wheelchair user.
Also, I might be coming up 81 but I’m not infirm yet and still have enough fitness, despite everything, to give help if needed. Even so, they want the carers to come in to help with that kind of thing. How useful this will be remains to be seen but if that’s what it takes for her to stay at home, we are both going to go for it.
I’m not sure what more can be done medically but hopefully something.
The District Nurse phoned about my own condition earlier and said I can change the extra bag to a valve that I can open or close. That should make life a bit more comfortable but it will mean I won’t be able use the name ‘two-bags’ Mart anymore.
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I/we will have to accept some time apart. Mrs mart is being moved to another hospital some distance away where they will try to build her strength up. We had tried for help in the home but the OT is worried that if they let her go, she will only have to be admitted for a third time. I have to agree she could be right. The fate is accepted by us both now.
Me and a son will have to do some wheelchair shuffling today. She has the powerchair at present but the manual one is needed instead for transferring tests. Having got the manual chair to the ward, I’ll have to drive the powerchair out of the hospital and up the WAV ramp. A bit inexperienced with driving it bit I expect I’ll manage.
The nurse came here and brought the promised Flip-Flo valves. I have changed my catheter bag for one of them and moving around is easier now.
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…and just to make life bloody worse, Mrs m has tested positive for Covid. I home tested as a result of the information and I have it too. No visits allowed.
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Logistical nightmare. On the plus side, if there is one, you and Mrs M will have a few days off reliance on each other, and have some “self” time to recuperate a little.
I’m so sorry Mart. I’ve been trying to think of something to say to make you feel better, but it really is one thing after another for you both recently. Hope it helps that we are here thinking of you.
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Still tested positive for Covid this morning. I phoned the hospital’s Radiology Department about the appointment on the 5th (Nephrostomy change). Appointment re-scheduled for the 27th. Everything seems such an effort.
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Your luck will change soon mart.
I’ve been sick today and still don’t feel that settled. I think it could be the antibiotics I’ve been taking. Evil side-effects. I’m spending much time in bed.
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Take the opportunity to rest. You deserve it.
Covid can make you both exhausted but yet completely unable to sleep. Even if it’s mild when combined with antibiotic side effects it makes you feel bleugh.
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I’m trying to make the effort today but because I haven’t been eating or drinking. I know I’m dehydrated. It was drinking a cup of water yesterday that made me sick. I’ll be drinking more today but a lot more slowly. Also need to get some grub inside me before I waste away.
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Mrs m has been brought out of Covid isolation and is back on the ward. I’m told I can now visit but should wear a mask. I’ve been isolating for 6 days. I think I feel well enough to visit …and it means she can change my Nephrostomy dressing (permission given by the ward nurse who is getting to know us a bit more now).
I’ve had to phone some friends and say sorry for getting rid of them when they visited me at home. I just haven’t felt up to visitors and I was probably a bit short with them. I didn’t go as far as to tell them to just leave me alone but it was running through my head. I’m putting a lot of that down to the antibiotic I was taking. I seem to have had a number of the side effects listed that have made me feel quite ill and unsociable. It was a 7 day course and I managed 6. I hope that was enough.
I ate and drank more yesterday and am working on rehydrating the body. There was quite a bit more in last night’s pee bag, which is a good sign. There was hardly anything the night before that.
Mrs m is still waiting for a bed at the proposed re-hab hospital where they will try to build her strength up. She still has no voice and the cough is still present if she tries to talk. Lord only knows when she will be home. 
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Thanks for the update Mart, and glad to hear that you are feeling better and over the worst.
Sounds good for Mrs M also, I hope they can make her strong enough to come home.
Don’t worry about being a grump when you are ill. You’ve had a lot to cope with, and good friends always understand…That’s why they are good friends…
Don’t neglect yourself, eat and drink well, Mrs Mart is going to need you when she comes home…Lets hope it’s sooner rather than later…
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