Does anybody belong to their local ‘Next door’ group?
I only heard about it recently & a few weeks ago I decided to join. It was nice talking to people in my own neighbourhood. From that site I got an electrician & a decorator who came recommended. No problems at all. A lady who lives not far away invited me to go to hers for a cuppa & a young man offered to do me some jobs for nothing. I was really enjoying the site & the people on it.
Then a man started sending me PM’s trying to be friendly. I got sick of the stupid waves he kept sending me so I politely replied that I wasn’t in the mood for playing waving games - that I was recovering from a heart attack & cared for my husband with alzheimers.
He replied that he thought I was a ‘wonderful’ woman and started wanting to talk about Alzheimers etc. I replied once more that I didn’t really want to talk about it & that I hoped he’d find a nice friend to talk to. He didn’t take the bl**dy hint & still kept sending me messages with kisses.
I was very aware that some people have mental problems & a rebuff could send them over the edge. I saw nothing more I could do so I sent him a message saying I was having problems logging on to the site. I then de-activated my account.
Now I’ve lost all the lovely friends & contacts I made just because of one person.
I quite like it. It’s good for finding local tradespeople, local events/ problems and a bit of a chat
It’s a shame you left over one person, I’d just have thanked him for his interest but told him firmly I wasn’t interested in exchanging entering into conversations or PMs due to my situation, and then blocked him
I’m quite sure you aren’t the only person he’s done it to and as long as you weren’t cruel and didn’t humiliate him publicly, you weren’t responsible for his reaction to rejection
I’d rejoin, if I were you. He’s no different to a pest you get in a pub or social club, a firm no and then no more interaction is the way to deal with it
One lady befriended a man on there to help him with some problems.
He turned out to be suffering from schizophrenia. He imagined she & he were lovers & he became insanely jealous of anybody who spoke to her in the group. They got a mouthful of abuse from him.
There was no apparent moderator so the problem didn’t get dealt with.
She also has had to de activate her account.
I feel that if I rejected my ‘pest’ - even gently & kindly, he will know he’s ‘unwanted’ & might cause trouble.
I will probably rejoin in a coupe of weeks - by which time he will have given up messaging me & I will block him.
Question: If I block him will he be able to see me but I won’t be able to see him?
@carol … one question. If it’s a neighborhood type group, how easy is it for other people to maybe figure out how close you are?
As in …how local is local.
I wouldn’t be keen on that.
Otherwise it sounds great to me and I think I might join.
As to your dilemma.
Well, if you feel you’ve lost out by deactivating your account I’d get back there and rejoin. You sounded like you’d settled in and liked the place. Why let one person spoil it.
On the other hand taken to extremes if you feel you’re been pestered you’d think you could report it privately, and diplomatically to the site owner.
I run my coffee group through next Door. Nowadays members don’t know your full address, but a vague idea where in your road.
To find help, go into your profile, and look for a miniature cog. You will find it there.
I think it’s a good group, so I hope now you can rejoin, find your friends (and enjoy that cuppa!), and get some trades people in. And block that idiot.
I think you can set it so it doesn’t show your full address but it will still show your street
I’ve never done the blocking thing but I think it just stops them sending you PMs and “connecting” with you, they can still still see your posts on the site
If you don’t want to see their posts, though, you can mute them, so you won’t see their posts but they can still see yours. A bit like on here when you block someone and their posts are hidden from you
I’ve belonged for about 5 years and find it very helpful for referalls , what’s happening, police info etcetc
I would suggest don’t put a picture up , if you do maybe a pic of something like a part of your garden or a flower , I have a pic of my sisters puppy . Use only part of your name or slightly miss spell . You could amend your address too .
I would re-join then start a thread “Nextdoor Help”
I enjoy Nextdoor but …
a man started sending me PM’s trying to be friendly. I got sick of the stupid waves he kept sending me so I politely replied that I wasn’t in the mood for playing waving games - that I was recovering from a heart attack & cared for my husband with alzheimers.
He replied that he thought I was a ‘wonderful’ woman and started wanting to talk about Alzheimers etc. I replied once more that I didn’t really want to talk about it & that I hoped he’d find a nice friend to talk to. He didn’t take the bl**dy hint & still kept sending me messages with kisses.
I was very aware that some people have mental problems & a rebuff could send them over the edge. I saw nothing more I could do so I sent him a message saying I was having problems logging on to the site. I then de-activated my account.
I agree. Sort of. My. two girls are closer than when I worked but one is in Cumbria and the other is in Nottingham. My son still lives in London. My wife’s family are in Georgia. So not so distant…
I can only echo others and say that one person shouldn’t ruin a lovely experience for you. I would get back on there and just block him or simply don’t respond to him. He’ll move onto someone else soon enough. If you are enjoying the site, don’t let him spoil it.
As the others have said, Block Him and see how it goes. I’m kind of hacked off myself with a member of another site, I have been on it for years and this newbie know all arrived several weeks ago, and seems to delight in rubbishing anything I post, and it’s starting to hack me off royally. I have now blocked her and I’m waiting to see how it goes.
