My best friend has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease

Ashley is 77 and the doctor reckons he may have had it for a few years going on scans and other indicators.
Three to ten years is the indication of life expectancy.
I have noticed for more than 6 months he is becoming more forgetful and repeating himself.
Was I supposed to say something? I know that when people age they often repeat stories. Would I be expected to say, “You have told me that story several times”?
I feel saying that would be a little akin to crushing their very being. (Not the right phraseology I know)
But if they do not remember having told the story and they want to tell it, who am I to stop them?

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Sorry to read that Bretrick.
I think the least said the soonest mended.

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That is my thinking as well. Let him have his moment telling stories. I think his wife picked up on it earlier and also said nothing.
Why upset someone in that position?

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Absolutely let him have his moment,i think it would upset you more if he noticed.
I imagine his wife noticed but could not bring herself to accept it, bless her.

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Sorry to hear that…Alzheimer’s is a terrible thing.

It sounds like your friend thinks he is telling you stories for the first time, so saying anything to remind him he already mentioned it, wouldn’t (also) be remembered. So no need to say or do anything but be patient with him. Smile, nod and reply like you always have.

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I agree with @brokenvows, just go along with what he is saying even if he has said the same thing numerous times. My late husband had dementia in his later years and would continually repeat the same things and ask the same questions - if challenged he would become extremely upset so it’s best to try to listen and carry on as normal - not easy I know, and heart-breaking for those closest to him.

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That’s very sad for your friend but it’s kindest to try to maintain your friendship and not make everything about the Alzeimers

I think labelling it Alzeimers has made it more scary in a way, I can remember my granny saying ……

“oh, he’s getting old, he’s just going a bit funny”

… because it was just accepted as part of life

He may have a few good years yet, definitely don’t tell him he’s repeating himself etc, he can’t do anything about it and you’ll make him sad

Try to enjoy the things you used to as long as he can, if he’s aware of his diagnosis let him talk about it and promise he and his wife will have your support

My dad had vascular dementia at the end that produces similar symptoms and it really is best just to go along with them and their new world but also enjoy moments of fun and companionship and affection
You can have those up until the end

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Oh, Bretwick, I am sorry for everyone involved to read this news. Nothing you could have said or done would change this.

I hope you both keep telling each other the stories.

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My BH’s father is showing signs of something.He imagines strange people in the house and last night he went off to sleep in the spare bed room which has a bed but with no clothes on it.

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I’m sorry, Smithy :frowning: Has he been able to get assessed for anything?

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No.We are managing ok.He’s desperate not to go into a care home so we haven’t mentioned it to anyone.

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News such as this is very sad. Especially when the doctor involves a time line.
I often wonder how I would react to a termination date. Would I see it out or would I take steps to…

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I wonder too, Bretrick. I suppose that most of us tend to just go with the wheels of fate and try to make the best of the very difficult ride.

Oh dear…my heart goes out to you and your friend and family. AnnieS posted some wise advice–which I am going to use in dealing with a dear friend who has dementia.

I guess we have to ask ourselves: what would it serve to tell someone we know who has a form of dementia that they are repeating themselves? Not sure it serves a useful purpose–better to listen, nod, and maybe ask a question.